Is it permissible to take your wife’s opinion?

[ummtaalib]

Q. I was discussing a matter with my friend and there were two reasonable options before me. I said I will consider my wife's opinion and then decide accordingly. My friend said that this is incorrect and goes against the teachings of Islam.

 

Is there anything wrong with seeking one's wife's opinion? If it is acceptable to do so, could you please provide the evidence from Islamic teachings? Also, I would appreciate any additional insights on the matter.

 

A. There is nothing wrong with seeking the opinion of your wife or any other family member, and it is certainly not against the Quran or Hadith. In fact, taking advice from those close to you, especially your spouse, is not only permissible but also recommended in Islam.

 

One of the most profound examples of this can be found in the life of our beloved Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam. When Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam received the first revelation in the cave of Hira, he was deeply shaken and unsure of what had just happened. He immediately went to his wife, Sayyidatuna Khadijah (Radhiyallahu Anha), seeking her comfort and advice. It was Khadijah (Radhiyallahu Anha) who reassured him, reminded him of his good character, and supported him during this crucial time. She played a vital role in comforting him and in helping him understand that what he had experienced was a divine message from Allah Ta’ala. This incident is a clear example that seeking the counsel of one’s wife is not only permissible but can be of great benefit.

 

The Quran also encourages mutual consultation. In Surah Ash-Shura (42:38), Allah Ta’ala praises those who conduct their affairs by mutual consultation. The verse says: "And those who have responded to their lord and established prayer and whose affair is [determined by] consultation among themselves, and from what We have provided them, they spend."

 

This verse highlights the importance of Shura (consultation) in making decisions, and this principle applies within the family as well.

 

There is also a Hadith that supports the importance of consultation. Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said: "The one who seeks counsel is never disappointed…" (Narrated by al-Tabarani in al-awsat)

 

This Hadith emphasizes that consulting others, including one's spouse, is a means of avoiding disappointment and making sound decisions.

 

In summary, seeking the opinion of your wife or any other close person is not only permissible but is encouraged in Islam. The example of the Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam and the teachings of the Quran and Hadith all point to the wisdom and benefit in mutual consultation, especially within the family.

 

And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

 

Mufti Muhammed Hamza Farooqui

Mufti Taahir Hansa

 

(The answer hereby given is specifically based on the question asked and should be read together with the question asked. Islamic rulings on this Q&A newsletter are answered in accordance to the Hanafi Fiqh unless otherwise stated.) 

 

 

Fatwa Department
Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) 
Council of Muslim Theologians

[ummtaalib]

Incident where Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam took the advice of his wife Umm Salamah RA

The incident took place during the journey to Makkah to perform the Umrah and the Muslims were prevented from entering Makkah and which led to the signing of the Treaty of Hydaybiyyah.

When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had ratified the treaty, he commanded his Companions to get up, slaughter their sacrificial animals, and shave their heads, but none of them got up. (The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was telling his Companions to end the state of ihraam which they had entered in order to perform 'Umrah. They had been prevented from entering Makkah, and were to wait until the following year to perform 'Umrah, but they did not want to abandon their hope of performing 'Umrah on this occasion. They did not want to accept the deal that had been struck with the Quraysh, hence they were reluctant to end their ihraam.)

He told them three times to do this, but not one of them responded. He went to his wife Umm Salamah, and told her what he was facing from the people. At this point the wisdom and intelligence of Umm Salamah become quite clear. She told him,

“O Messenger of Allah, go out and do not speak to any of them until you have sacrificed your animal and shaved your head.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) took her advice, and did as she suggested. When the Sahaabah saw that, they rushed to sacrifice their animals and shave their heads