Ta'ziat - Visiting the Bereaved

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Sunnats and Aadaab of Visiting the Bereaved

Part 1

 

1. Ta’ziat means sharing condolences with the bereaved and sympathizing with them over the loss of their near and dear one. This will be done by making dua for the deceased in the presence of the family. Similarly, this will be done by making dua for the family, that Allah Ta’ala bless them with patience during this test.

2. One may make dua in the following words, “May Allah Ta’ala grant the deceased (brother, father, etc.) the highest stages in Jannah and forgive his sins.” or, “May Allah Ta’ala grant the family sabr-e-jameel (a beautiful patience).”

Ihyaauddeen.co.za

 

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Part 2

1. It is desirable for the family and friends of the deceased to comfort the relatives of the deceased. However the laws of purdah should be maintained between men and women at the time of ta’ziyat.

2. When making ta’ziyat, one should ensure that he does not cause any inconvenience to the bereaved.

 

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Part 3

1. One should not add to the sorrows of the family by making improper statements or asking improper questions such as enquiring from the close family members regarding the details of the final illness or circumstances of death.

2.One should express his grief and should not laugh and joke.

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 Part 4

1.It is permissible to praise the deceased. However, when praising him, one should ensure that one does not exaggerate or praise him for characteristics that were not found in him. Similarly, one should not adopt the styles and ways of the kuffaar in praising him.

2.The period of ta’ziyat is three days. After the third day, it is makrooh to go for ta’ziyat. However, if a person could not present himself for ta’ziyat within the three days, due to being out on a journey, then when he returns from the journey, he may go for ta’ziyat, even though the three days have elapsed.

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Part 5

1. It is makrooh for a person to make ta’ziyat for a second time when he has already made it before.

2. It is preferable to make ta’ziyat after the burial. However, it is permissible to make ta’ziyat before the burial.

3. If a person cannot present himself for ta’ziyat due to certain circumstances, then he may write a letter or send a message of condolence to the family of the deceased.

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Part 6

1. Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) comforted the bereaved in the following manner:

إِنَّ لِلَّهِ مَا أَخَذَ وَلَهُ مَا أَعْطَى وَكُلٌّ إِلَى أَجَلٍ مُسَمًّى فَلْتَصْبِرْ وَلْتَحْتَسِبْ

To Allah Ta’ala alone belongs that which He takes, and to Him alone belongs that which He gives. Everything is until an appointed time (after which it will be taken from this world). Therefore, adopt patience and hope for reward from Allah Ta’ala.

2. It is not permissible for one to go to the home of a kaafir who has passed away for ta’ziyat while the funeral proceedings are underway. However, on meeting his kaafir neighbour or any other kaafir who has lost a family member e.g. a child, he may console him in the following words:

أَخْلَفَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْكَ خَيْرًا منه وَأَصْلَحَكَ

May Allah Ta’ala grant you something better (bless you with the taufeeq of accepting Islam) in exchange of the person you have lost, and May Allah Ta’ala improve your condition.

 

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Part 7

 

 One should assist the bereaved by sending food to their home. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) has taught the Sahaabah (Radhiyallahu Anhum) to express sympathies with the bereaved and assist them at the time of their grief and sorrow. Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) encouraged the Sahaabah (Radhiyallahu Anhum) to prepare food and send it for the family, as they have been struck with a tragedy and would not be able to see to their own needs.

عن عبد الله بن جعفر رضي الله عنه قال لما جاء نعي جعفر قال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم إصنعوا لأهل جعفر طعاما فإنه قد جاءهم ما يشغلهم (جامع الترمذي رقم 998)

Hazrat Abdullah bin Ja’far (Radhiyallahu Anhu) narrates, “When the news of the demise of Hazrat Ja’far (Radhiyallahu Anhu) arrived, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) (said to the Sahaabah), ‘Prepare food for the family of Hazrat Ja’far (Radhiyallahu Anhu), as a tragedy has befallen them that has preoccupied them (from seeing to their needs)’”.

 

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 Part 8

1. The Shari’ah has not specified any particular type or colour of clothing that should be worn by those that are bereaved.

2. The practice of visitors coming on the seventh day, tenth day and fortieth day for “khatam” etc. are innovations and should be discarded.

 

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 Part 9

1. Meals should not be served at the home of the deceased to those who come for ta’ziyah. Serving meals at the home is an innovatory practice.

2. It is impermissible to hire a person to recite a portion of the Quraan Majeed and convey the reward to the deceased.