Rules of a Muslim Home

[Bint e Aisha]

Uswatulmuslimah.co.za

 

Rules of a Muslim Home (#1) - Cleanliness

 

In the present era of trials and tribulations, with evil and fitnah surrounding us in every direction, there is no better sanctuary for a Muslim/Muslimah than his/her home.

Once a Sahaabi asked Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallm) for the key to success? Among other advices Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallm) said:

“Let your home be sufficient for you” (Tirmizi #2406).

 

As far as possible one should remain in the home. Allah Ta’ala has referred to the home of a person as a place of sukoon (peace).

 

Since the home of a believer is his/her sanctuary and a place of peace, there ought to be certain rules and regulations governing the home. Without any rules and a system, there will be chaos in the home.

 

The following are some of the rules that should be adhered to by every Muslim/Muslimah in his/her home.

 

First rule:

 

Cleanliness and purification:

 

Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallm) said:

“Allah Ta’ala is pure and loves purity, He is clean and loves cleanliness, He is generous and likes generosity, He is hospitable and loves hospitality, so clean your courtyards and do not resemble the Jews” (Tirmizi #2799).

 

One of the very essential characteristics of a Muslim/Muslimah regarding himself/herself and his/her home is cleanliness. When a Muslim/Muslimah is particular about cleanliness and purification, he/her is distinguished from other people. To achieve purity and cleanliness of the soul, a Muslim/Muslimah has to start by purifying his/her body, clothes, surroundings and other things.

Furthermore every Muslim/Muslimah should choose a place in his/her house for salaah and ibaadah, so that he/she may be able to carry out the necessary ibaadaat such as salaah, tilaawat of the Qur’aan, zikr etc. with great care.

 

Also take note of the following:

 

1. One should educate one’s family not to throw anything (papers, etc) except in the wastebasket. The kitchen waste should be thrown into a bin out of the reach of the children. When the waste is disposed of, the bin should be carefully washed, cleaned and replaced. One must take care that the dirt from the kitchen is not thrown in the drain since it may block it. It is advisable to put a small filter in the sink to prevent this.

 

2. Clothes should be washed early in the morning, preferably after Ishraaq salaah, so that one may have enough time to dry the clothes properly and thereafter iron them.

 

3. There should be specific times for sweeping and cleaning the house. This should suit the situation of the household members, preferably at a time when the men are at work and the children are at school.

 

4. Household members should organize times during the day when they can bath. One should also use the miswaak everyday to keep the teeth strong and clean. The miswaak also leaves a sweet smell in the mouth and assists a person to recite the kalimah at the time of death.

 

5. Household members should get rid of the garbage in such a way which does not cause any inconvenience for themselves or their neighbours.

 

6. Ventilating the kitchen and the bathroom well keeps those places fresh and prevents foul smells emanating from there. The toilets must be properly cleaned, at least every second day because it is a place where many diseases emanate.

 

7. The household members should be careful in aspects of cleanliness and purification. One must not become careless as this can lead to neglecting of religious duties. Children should be taught the easy duties of cleanliness that Allah Ta’ala has ordered us, such as the etiquettes of using the toilet, istinjaa, clipping ones nails, etc.

 

8. At least once a year the entire house should be spring cleaned. This is necessary in order to prevent germs and mites settling in remote corners of the house.

 

9. Every member of the household should also be taught to keep his/her cupboards and drawers neat and tidy. Daily the ironing etc. should be packed away neatly. Clothing should never be dumped into the drawers.

 

(to be continued……)

[Bint e Aisha]

Rules of a Muslim Home (#2) - Neatness

 

Al-hamdulillah in the last issue, the importance of cleanliness in our homes was discussed. Just as it is important to keep our homes clean and tidy, it is also important to keep it orderly and well organized. The Hadith very emphatically teaches us to be neat and organized in whatever we do.

 

On one occasion Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said to the Sahaabah (radiyallahu anhum): “You will soon be meeting some of your brothers, so straighten your saddles, and neaten your clothing until you become like a shining star in the sight of the people” (Abu Dawood #4091).

 

In this Hadith, Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) explicitly commands the Sahaabah (radiyallahu anhum) to straighten their saddles and neaten their clothes so as to look presentable in the sight of people.

 

The following are some points that should be considered:

 

Neatness in one’s home:

 

It should be the duty of every Muslim to keep his home and surroundings neat and tidy. If someone enters the house, he should find it pleasantly inviting. The woman of the house should be an example to her husband and children in keeping the house neat and tidy. In fact, all the members of the house should be taught to keep the house in this manner. Unfortunately, often people neglect their homes and live in a chaotic manner. It is unpleasant to find disorganized tables, shelves, and scattered clothes lying around everywhere. Wherever you look, there are signs of chaos and disorder. At times, household members remain in their pyjamas for the entire day. Children are sometimes left dirty and neglected. Certainly, these are against the morals of a Muslim and the teachings of the Shari’ah.

 

In the life-style of the friends of Allah Ta’ala, we find many lessons of guidance. In his last illness, Hakeemul-Ummah Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (rahmatullahi alahi) had become extremely weak. Late one night Hazrat needed to go to the toilet. In the rural parts of India of that time, there was no electricity and the toilets were situated outside the homes. Furthermore since there was no running water, water had to be taken along for istinja (washing). In this condition of weakness and in the darkness of the night, Hazrat (rahmatullahi alahi) carried his lota (water can) to the toilet. On his return from the toilet, he felt dizzy and fell unconscious for a while. When he regained consciousness, he dragged himself into the house and lay down to rest. He then realised that the lota had remained where he had fallen in the darkness. He immediately realized that should anyone else wish to use the toilet, he will be inconvenienced due to not finding the lota (jug) in its place. Despite his weakness he could not bear the thought of somebody being inconvenienced in this way. He therefore got up, went outside, retrieved the lota and put it back in its proper place.

 

To maintain order in one’s home and to keep it neat and organized, the following points should be kept in mind by members of the household:

 

1. Everything at home should be organized and kept in its respective place. If any item is used, it should be put back in its place after use. Generally, if items are not put back in their proper places then in times of emergencies it puts one in great difficulty.

 

2. Members of the house should be taught not to leave their things lying around. Children, especially, should be made to clear up after playing with their toys, puzzles, etc. In this way things will always be kept neat and tidy.

 

3. To inculcate the habit of neatness in ourselves as well as our children, each person should be taught to daily make their own beds even though one may have domestic servants who will do the job. After bathing or changing, the clothes one has removed must be put into the washing baskets. Similarly, after eating, the dirty dishes should be taken to the sink. This should be made a rule in the house.

 

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Edited August 8, 2017 by Bint e Aisha

[Bint e Aisha]

Rules of a Muslim Home (#3) - Speaking in a Soft Tone

 

The Quraan Majeed declares that Allah Ta’ala has made the home of a believer a place of peace and tranquillity (Surah Nahl, v80). Thus we understand that among the etiquettes of a Muslim home is that members of the household refrain from doing anything that destroys the peace and tranquillity. This includes thoughtless and loud disturbing speech.

 

It is mentioned in a Hadith that “A Muslim is he who other Muslims are safe from the harms of his tongue and his hands.” (Saheeh Bukhari #9)

 

People living in the same house are more than neighbours and more than just friends. Therefore, it is imperative that they should not hurt one another in any way. Among the most annoying and hurtful behaviour is making noise at home or raising one’s voice so loudly that it distresses others.

 

A woman, especially, should be extra careful when speaking. Speaking in a loud tone shows a lack of self-respect and modesty in women. If due to some necessity she has to raise her voice, and there is a fear of strange men listening to it, then she should be careful not to talk in a seductive tone. Rather her speech should be short but not sweet.

 

Allah Ta’ala has mentioned in the Quraan Majeed addressing the pure wives of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam):

 

“Do not be soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire” (Ahzaab, v32)

 

At times we switch on the radio forcing the entire neighbourhood to hear what we are listening to, or we tend to read or sing in such loud voices that disturbs others around us. Furthermore, sometimes people at home argue and yell at each other to such an extent that the entire neighbourhood hears them. Such acts would obviously be regarded as ungracious and ill mannered.

 

At times children can be heard crying whilst their parents are not concerned at all about them. They continue chatting over the phone or go on with their mundane work totally ignoring their children.

 

Therefore the following points should be kept in mind:

 

1. If there are guests at home and a female has to call the attention of any man of the household, she should rather knock on the door instead of calling out for him. In this manner she will be able to serve her guests as well as protect her hayaa and shame. Indeed, this is a great form of modesty. In the same way if she has to answer the phone, then her speech should be restricted to bare necessity. She should also not speak in sweet or alluring tones.

 

2. If someone knocks at the door or rings the bell, the men in the house should answer. If there are no men at home, only then should the women answer from behind the purdah by speaking as little as possible without using alluring tones.

 

3. Always be considerate to one’s neighbours. Remember the rights that Allah Ta’ala has prescribed for them. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) has described a person who has caused harm to his neighbours to be bereft of Imaan. (Saheeh Bukhari #6016)

 

4. Do not turn on radios or cd players so loudly that they disturb others.

 

5. Tend to children immediately when they are in need of attention.

 

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[Bint e Aisha]

Rules of a Muslim Home (#4) - Tarbiyah of Our Families (Part One)

 

Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’aan: "O you who have Imaan! Save yourselves and your families from the fire (of Jahannum)."

 

We understand from this aayah the importance of the proper Islamic tarbiyah (nuturing) of our families.

 

The main cause of children being spoilt is our lack of interest in their tarbiyah. It is the incumbent responsibility of both the parents to bring up and nurture their children Islamically. However, a greater responsibility lies upon the mother, since the children grow up mainly in her care.

 

Parents should try and gain the maximum out of their children by moulding their behaviour in accordance with the Shari’ah. Besides benefiting the children it will also benefit us. Whatever good accrues from them, we will also have a share in the reward they attain. Every salaah they perform, every aayah of the Qur’aan they recite and every other good deed that they may perform, a share of the reward will be reserved for us as well.

 

Definition of Tarbiyah: The word tarbiyah means to nurture, rear or to take care of a child from stage to stage until he/she becomes obedient and righteous.

 

Definition of a Murabbi: One who makes the tarbiyah of others.

 

Object of Tarbiyah: One of the most important objectives of tarbiyah is to nurture someone till they reach such a stage where they can fulfil all their duties towards Allah Ta’ala and live a practical life of a Muslim, as shown to us by our beloved Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam).

 

Qualities of a Murabbi (Mentor)

As far as upbringing and spiritual rectification is concerned, certain attributes are vital in the life of a murabbi. Some of these are listed hereunder.

 

Sincerity: This is the key feature in any work of Deen. Without this, no action can be of any value. Always keep in mind the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala. Our objective should never be any gain other than the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala. Every facet of our upbringing should reveal only sincerity. Whether it is stern admonition or counselling with love, all our actions have to be based on complete sincerity.

 

Tolerance & Patience: This is the fundamental attribute of an ideal murabbi. Without this no person will be able to execute an obligation as sensitive as tarbiyah (upbringing) effectively. The gist of tolerance is that a person refrains from angry outbursts. Don’t be hasty in looking for results. This may agitate you and lead to frustration. Generally we get frustrated when there is no apparent change taking place. Maintain trust in Allah Ta’ala and continue working conscientiously and with persistence. Bear in mind the blessed manner of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam). Look at how he nurtured his Sahaabah (radiyallahu anhum) despite the difficulties and hardships. Historians say that the group of people that he had to work with were at that time the worst group of people on the face of the earth. Yet in the most trying times he never lost his temper. He thus transformed them into the best group of people on earth.

 

Politeness: Undoubtedly, a person’s speech, tone, manner of conversation and style leaves an impression upon his/her children. If you are unsympathetic, repulsive and speak in an angry tone, your children will distance themselves from you. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) spoke in a tone that was neither too loud, nor too soft. He spoke in a moderate tone that would leave a deep impression upon his audience.

 

Good character: Before attempting to nurture others, we should first spiritually nurture ourselves. The beautiful character of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) played a key role in his Sahaabah (radiyallahu anhum) adopting a most excellent character.

 

The following 3 aspects should be instilled into the hearts of every child

 

1. Greatness of Allah Ta’ala: Our most important function is to create an awareness of the presence of Allah Ta’ala at all times. The recognition, greatness and the attributes of Allah Ta’ala must be firmly established in their hearts. Every opportunity should be used to educate them in this regard. This should be done on a daily basis. For example, let them observe the creation of Allah Ta’ala such as the sky, sun, moon, mountains, oceans, etc., which all show the greatness of Allah Ta’ala. The awareness of Allah Ta’ala can also be achieved by continuously making zikr of the first kalimah and reciting the masnoon duaas on the appropriate occasions.

 

2. Love for Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam): The second most important aspect is to instil the true love and admiration of our beloved Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), his family and the Sahabah (radiyallahu anhum) in their hearts. This can be achieved by explaining to them the seerah and life of our beloved Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam). They should be made to understand the hardships and suffering that Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) experienced to propagate the Deen of Islam. The recitation of durood daily will also help in this regard. Practicing and reinforcing every sunnah will help to instil the true love of Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) into their lives. If our child does any action against the sunnah, rectify him/her immediately. For example immediately rectify them for actions such as drinking water with the left hand, boy’s having their pants below their ankles, girls not covering their hair properly, etc., even if they are minors. They should thereafter be praised and rewarded for acting on the sunnah. Remember that the sunnah of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) is for men, women and children. Ask ourselves whether the use of the miswaak is common amongst the women and children in our families or has it been restricted to the men only. Similarly sitting on the floor and eating is a sunnah practice for men and women although practiced mainly by men only.

 

3. Good character and morals: The third most important aspect is to encourage good character and morals in our families. We are living in a society which is morally bankrupt and becoming worse by the day. Modesty and Shame have vanished. Bad habits and Evil Character are common. Good qualities such as truthfulness, kindness, respect and other virtuous traits must be introduced to them. The bad habits such as lying, vulgar language, theft, etc., must also be discussed, so that it could be shunned. The harms of television, music, drugs, illicit relationships, etc., should be emphasized firmly but with affection and concern. Children must be discouraged from hero-worshiping kuffaar sportsmen. For instance parents should not purchase T-shirts with “Bekham or Ronaldo” written on them since such garments lead towards hero-worship of theses idols.

 

(to be continued. Part 2 - How do we make the tarbiyah of our children?)

 

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