Misconception regarding "Wife Beating" in the Qur'an

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One of the most widely discussed subjects on the net. Unfortunately many Muslims, especially women, accept misconceptions propagated by the enemies of Islam. In this topic we shall inshaAllah present the true Islamic teachings.

 

The verse of the Noble Qur'an which discusses the issue and which is surrounded by misconception is from Suratun Nisaa,  number 34

 

 

 

Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great

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What does the Qur'an & Hadith saying regarding Marriage?

 

According to Qur'an, the relationship between the husband and wife should be based on mutual love and kindness. Allah says:

 

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Quran: Ar-Rum 21)

 

 

The Holy Quran urges husbands to treat their wives with kindness. (In the event of a family dispute, the Qur'an exhorts the husband to treat his wife kindly and not to overlook her positive aspects). Allah Almighty says:

 

"And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good"

(Quran: An-Nisaa 19)

 

 

Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an Kareem

“And provide them shelter where you stay and do not harm to frustrate them”. (Qur'an 65:6)

 

 

هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ

 

Hunna libaasun lakum wa antum libaasun lahun.

They are a garment for you and you are a garment for them. (Surat al-Baqara, 2:187)

 

 

From Hadith

(To quote just a few....)

 

 

On the occasion of Hajjatul-Wida (The Farewell Hajj) The Prophet

among other advices said with regard to women;

"0 People! fear Allah with regard to your wives. You have taken them into your possession with the permission of Allah."

 

 

"A believer must not hate a believing woman (i.e., his wife);

if he dislikes one of her traits he will be pleased with another." (Muslim)

 

 

The Prophet  said: "Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 628 | Narrated by Abu Hurayrah 

 

 

 

Even Verbal Abuse is not Tolerated in Islam

 

Islam recognizes the evil of verbal abuse and perhaps that’s why there is so much emphasis on guarding one’s tongue and keeping others secured from its invisible harm.

 

The Messenger of Allāh, ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said,

“A true believer is not involved in taunting, or frequently cursing (others) or in indecency or abusing.”’ (al-Tirmidhi)

 

If this is the right of a regular Muslim, then how much more so a wife or husband is entitled to be safe from verbal abuse and taunting.

 

In another narration, the Prophet of Allāh said:

“…Cursing a believer is like murdering him.” (Al-Bukhāri and Muslim)

 

SubḥānAllāh, how true are the words of the Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam who thoroughly acknowledge that, in fact, harsh tongue and cursing is as painful and harmful as murdering someone.

 

Hence, those husbands who are duped into thinking that they are free from being abusive because they have never raised their hands on their wives, yet, frequently curse or use abusive/foul language should take heed in the words of the Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam. And so should the wives who have been using harsh tongue against their husbands.

The Jamiat

 

 

 

As for the Children....

 

Conflict in marriage is unavoidable at times and, unless one is conscious of the Allah, it can lead to a lot of anger. Although anger is one of the most difficult emotions to manage, the first step towards controlling it can be learning how to forgive those who hurt us. Under no circumstance, even when he is angry or somehow feels justified, is a husband allowed to humiliate her by using hurtful words or cause her any injury.

 

Children are the weak and vulnerable segment of society. They are in need of not only physical nurturing, but emotional as well as spiritual nourishment. The advice of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) is clear in providing guidelines regarding to the kindness and affection they deserve to be shown.

 

Hereunder are a few examples:

 

* Abu Shurayh Khuwaylid ibn ‘Amr al-Khuza‘i (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “O Allah! I consider it a wrong action that the rights of two weak ones be violated: orphans and women.” (Nasa‘i)

 

* The grandfather of ‘Amr ibn Shu‘ayb (radhiyallahu anhu) said: Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “'Anyone who does not show mercy to our young people nor honour our old people is not one of us.” (Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)

 

* Abu Hurayrah (radhiyallahu anhu) said, “Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) kissed al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali (radhiyallahu anhu). Al-Aqra’ ibn Habis (radhiyallahu anhu) said, “I have ten children and I have not kissed any of them.” Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “Someone who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.” (Bukhari and Muslim)  

              

(Source)

 

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Clear Instructions in the Qur'an in case of Conflict

 

Contrary to the misconception that the Qur'an encourages "wife beating", clear instructions have been mentioned in verse 34 of Suratun Nisaa on the steps to be taken by the husband in a conflict where the the wife is rebellious and at fault.

 

After mentioning the qualities of a good wife, the verse thereafter turns to women who are either straight disobedient to their husbands or fail to co-operate with them in running family affairs in the recognised manner. The Holy Quran gives men three methods of correcting their behaviour. These are to be followed in the order they have been mentioned.

 

Talk it over with them nicely and softly. Still, if they remain adamant and do not change their attitude by conciliatory council alone, the next step is not to share the same bed with them, so that they may realize the displeasure of the husband as expressed through this sybolic separation, and may feel sorry for their conduct. The Holy Quran uses the words, في المضاجع, at this point, meaning ‘in beds’. It is from here that Muslim jurists have deduced that this staying apart should be limited to ‘beds’ and not to the ‘house’ itself. In other words, the woman should not be left alone in the house, something which is bound to hurt her feeling much more and which makes the possibility of further straining of relations far stronger.

 

If this gentle admonition fails to produce any effect, some corrective form of a little ‘beating’ has been allowed as a last resort, of course, in a manner that does not affect the body nor goes to the undesirable limits of hurt or injury to the skin or bones. As for slapping or hitting the face it is absolutely forbidden.

Mufti Shafiq Jakhura  Source

 

 

Bismihi Ta'ala

 

The verse of Surah Nisa, gives a step by step manner of dealing with the wives nushooz (ill behaviour). Only when these fail, the last resort is of 'darb'.

 

Darb, beating is of two types darb shadeed and darb khafeef. Darb shadeed is which leaves marks and injury, whereas darb khafeef is without causing severe pain.

 

Further explanation of the verse has been given by Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) in the Hadith of Bukhari; "None of you should flog his wife as he flogs a slave and then have sexual intercourse with her in the last part of the day". This indicates too that the word darb does not mean sever beating battering or flogging.

 

The purpose for this form of darb is not for the husband to show his aggression or anger but for the wife to understand that her ill behaviour has caused her husband to resort to such. Once the purpose has been achieved there is no allowance for beating the wife at all or for continuous beating.

 

In domestic violence the husband beats his wife to take out his anger or show his superiority which are not the reason why the Qur'an has permitted it.

 

In the case of domestic violence the wife has rights to take up the matter with the Qadhi (Shariah council in our country) who on the request of the wife can nullify the marriage. The wife does not need to put up with domestic violence.

 

And Allah Knows Best

 

Mufti Zubair Dudha

Darul Ifta

Islamic tarbiyah Academy

 

 

How to correct an uncooperative wife

The text turns to women who are either straight disobedient to their husbands or fail to cooperate with them in running family affairs in the recognizable manner. The Holy Qur’an gives men three methods of correcting their behavior. These are to be followed in the order they have been mentioned.

 

“If this (i.e. the first two) gentle admonition fails to produce any effect, some corrective forms of a little beating has also been allowed as a last resort, of course in a manner that does not affect the body, nor goes to the undesirable limits of hurt or injury to the skin or bones.

 

As for slapping or hitting on the face, it is absolutely forbidden…. But this third method of admonition, that is, beating, has been permitted as a force option in a particular mode. Right along with this option given to men, it has appeared in a hadith which means that, “The best of you will never beat their women.” Thus, (for example) such an action is nowhere reported from the blessed Prophet of Allah.
(Ma’arif al-Qur’an 2:426)

 

I hope this clears up the confusion.

 

Hence, if a wife has committed adultery, the matter may to be taken to court.

And the wife certainly has the right to go to the court to complain of excessive or undeserved beating.

And Allah knows best.

 

Mufti Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf

zamzam academy

 

 

Question

For what reasons can a husband punish his wife? What is the worst punishment a husband can inflict on his wife?

 

Answer

(Fatwa: 1174/1014=L/1429)

 

The husband can punish his wife if she disobeys but within Shariah limits i.e. first the husband should convince her politely. Secondly if she is not under control after persuasion, he should separate her bed from his. If she is not controlled despite gentle convincing, then it is allowed to beat her a little without hurting her physically.

 

Also, in Hadith one is asked to avoid beating on face.

 

The last option of convincing wife is to have a little beating but according to Hadith: good men do not beat their wives (لن یضرب خیارکم), as this thing is not narrated about any prophet.

 

Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) knows Best

 

Darul Ifta,

Darul Uloom Deoband

 

 

Mufti Muhammad Aashiq Elahi (Raheemahullah) on Verse 4.34 

Illuminating Discourses on the Nobe Qur'an

 

GUIDANCE FOR DEALING WITH DISOBEDIENT WIVES

 

"As for those whose evil disposition you fear, advise them (if they still do not take heed), separate your bed from theirs and (this should be sufficient for any decent woman, but if she still takes no heed, then gently) rap them."

 

In his farewell sermon the Holy Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhiw asallam said, "Fear Allah with regard to your women for you have acquired them through a pledge between you and Allah, and you have secured sexual pleasures from them according to the Shari'ah of Allah. They owe you the right that none occupy your bed whom you (due to natural possessiveness) dislike. If they do so, then you may hit them in such a way that no bones are broken (i.e. no injury is inflicted). You owe them the right that you feed and clothe them in a good manner." [Muslim v.lp.397]

 

It is apparent from this that a person may not hit his wife in any way that will inflict an injury. The author of "Ruhul Ma'ani" (v.5 p.25) writes that the three courses of action stipulated in the verse are mentioned in sequence. Each should be employed only when the previous one fails.

 

"If they obey you then look for no excuse (to persecute them)." This verse advises those people who unnecessarily taunt and abuse their wives, finding the smallest excuses to punish them. Those who oppress the weak ones should bear in mind that soon they will have to present themselves before Allah, and "Verily Allah is Most High, The Greatest" Allah exercises greater power over a person than any man can ever hope to exercise over his subordinates.

 

 

 

As for the "Beating"...

 

The hadith states that when the wife disobeys her husband then he can beat her by making a knot on the edge of his shawl and then tapping her lightly with this part of the shawl. But violent or severe beating is haraam and not allowed. AskMufti

 

 

Hitting is subject to the condition that it should not be harsh or cause injury. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: this means that it should not cause pain. 

 

‘Ata’ said: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas, what is the kind of hitting that is not harsh? He said, Hitting with a siwaak and the like. [A siwaak is a small stick or twig used for cleaning the teeth - Translator] 

 

The purpose behind this is not to hurt or humiliate the woman, rather it is intended to make her realize that she has transgressed against her husband’s rights, and that her husband has the right to set her straight and discipline her

Shaykh al-Munajjid

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Scholars' Condemnation of Men hitting their Wives

 

Question

I start beating my second wife after getting a phone call from my first wife. She is pregnant and starts crying, after sometime I get cool down. Is it due to black magic of first wife or Jin at home

Hanafi Fiqh > Askimam.org

 

Answer

It is a shame upon you that;

 

1. As a man, you hit a woman;

2. and that she is your wife;

3. and that she is pregnant.

 

You are to be blamed for all that, not black magic, or your first wife or a Jinn. You should endervour to reform yourself and until then behave. Offer your wife sincere apology and make up for the wrong you have done. You should also make istighfaar your entire life and regret the incident. Beg Allah not to hold to and hold you back in His court on the day of judgment for abusing your wife.

 

Men who abuse their wives should never be unmindful of Allah's wrath and punishment. Allah is All-Seeing and

All-Hearing. Fear Allah.

 

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

Source

 

 

Question

Does Islam give permission to a husband to beat his wife?

 

Answer

The hadith states that when the wife disobeys her husband then he can beat her by making a knot on the edge of his shawl and then tapping her lightly with this part of the shawl. But violent or severe beating is haraam and not allowed.

Source

 

 

Brother, you mention that your mother is concerned about your sister’s safety. Do not hesitate to call on the police and other related agencies in order to protect her. Any threat against her life or safety is illegal and should be dealt with to the full extent of the law. If Muslim men are not prepared to obey and abide by Allah Ta’ala’s laws, then they should face the wrath of the law of the land.

Source

 

 

"If they obey you then look for no excuse (to persecute them)." This verse advises those people who unnecessarily taunt and abuse their wives, finding the smallest excuses to punish them. Those who oppress the weak ones should bear in mind that soon they will have to present themselves before Allah, and "Verily Allah is Most High, The Greatest" Allah exercises greater power over a person than any man can ever hope to exercise over his subordinates.

Mufti Muhammad Aashiq Elahi (Raheemahullah) on verse 4.34 

Illuminating Discourses on the Nobe Qur'an

 

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Islamic Ruling On Beating One's Wife

We acknowledge that Islām give rights to husband to beat his wife, but what if he does so unlawfully? What if he oppresses his wife and beats her unnecessarily?

What if he slaps her on her face?

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salām wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuhu,
 

There is no doubt that a woman has been given equal rights to that of a man in Islām. A man cannot oppress, tyrannize or manipulate his wife as he wishes.

 

Rather, Islām advocates that a man should treat his wife with utmost love, respect and dignity.

 

Our illustrious Fuqahā permit a husband to hit his wife slightly on a few occasions. The following four occasions (and occasions which are similar to them) are mentioned in the books of fiqh:

 

1) If she refuses to beautify herself for her husband,
 

2) If she refuses to share the bed with him,
 

3) If she leaves the house with no necessity without his consent,
 

4) If she omits her compulsory prayers or omits performing ghusl after attaining purity from ḥayḍh. (There is difference of opinion on this last point; Some jurists permit the husband to slightly hit his wife while others disagree.) Although there are certain times (there are four times in the Ḥanafi maḍhab) permission is granted for a husband to hit his wife. However, the books of Ḥadīth are emphatic that he may only hit her slightly, in such a way that he does not bruise her or cause her any injury.

 

 

It should be remembered that he can only hit her after first admonishing her, (and if that does not have an effect) then sleeping in a separate bed/room.

 

If still she does not comply, the husband will be permitted to beat his wife slightly without causing any wounds, injury or harm.

 

Again, this is only what is permissible and not what is commendable. It is preferable that the couple should be broadminded, forbearing and tolerate each other. Hitting should be the last step after exhausting all avenues.

 

If the husband abuses this ‘responsibly’ and beats a wife without respecting the limits set down by the Qurān and Ḥadīth, then she can take him to an Islāmic court and the judge will decide accordingly. She cannot take revenge on her own (this is for her betterment, otherwise, the husband will fight back and a war will burst out in the house). This would however, only apply if here were bruises and injuries.

 

If he slapped her on the face and it did not cause any injuries, she would not be permitted to take him to court, although he will be sinning for violating the laws of Islam.

 

However, if she gets injured, she may take legal action. The mere cause of injuries and wounds is enough for the wife to take the husband to court, even though these wounds will heal in a short period of time. Of course, the judge would give an adequate ruling.

 

 

وفيها من أخر الجنايات ادعت على زوجها ضربا فاحشا وثبت ذلك عليه يعزر الزوج اه


وظاهره أنه لو لم يكن فاحشا وهو غير المبرح فإنه لا يعزر فيه
(البحر الرائق – (3 / 237)
 

ضرب الزوج زوجته لترك مطاوعته في الفراش فهلكت ضمن (المحيط البرهاني – (3 / 124)

لو ضرب امرأته على المضجع أو في أدب فماتت يضمن إجماعا وعليه الكفارة (البحر الرائق – (8 / 392)

 

ولو ضرب امرأته للنشوز فماتت منه يضمن (بدائع الصنائع – (6 / 381)

 

قال في البحر وصرحوا بأنه إذا ضربها بغير حق وجب عليه التعزير اه أي وإن لم يكن فاحشا (رد المحتار – ط. بابي الحلبي – (4 / 79)


ضرب امرأته تأديباً لها فماتت 1390
 

ولو ضرب امرأته في الأدب فماتت فإنه يضمن


(عيون المسائل – (1 / 280)


والزوج إذا ضرب امرأته بنشوز معتاد أو غير معتاد فماتت كان ضامناً عند الكل ولا يرثها في قولهم (فتاوى قاضيخان – (2 / 179)


رجل ضرب امرأته في أدب فماتت قال أبو حنيفة رحمه الله تعالى عليه الدية و الكفارة (فتاوى قاضيخان – (3 / 273)


 

وإن عزر زوج عرسه) على ترك الزينة، أو الإجابة إذا دعاها إلى فراشه، أو على الخروج من بيته فماتت (لا) أي لا يهدر دمها بل يضمن، لأن تعزيره إياها على هذه
الأشياء مباح ترجع منفعته إليه لا إليها، فيتقيد بشرط السلامة


وعلى هذا ينبغي أن لا يضرب امرأته على ترك الصلاة، أو على ترك غسل الجنابة، لأن منفعة ذلك عائدة إليها. وقد ذكر الحاكم: أنه لا يضرب امرأته على ترك الصلاة،
ويضرب ابنه عليها

 

(فتح باب العناية – (6 /
40)

And Allaah Ta’aala knows best

Wassalaam,

Ismail Moosa (Mufti)

Iftaa Department,

Euro-Sunni & Islamic Research and Welfare Academy Source

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NO to Domestic Violence in Islam | Mufti Hussain Kamani |

 

The Prophet  said: "Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well." - Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 628 | Narrated by Abu Hurayrah 

 

Sadly, the curse of domestic violence plagues Muslim and Non-Muslim communities all over the globe. In this segment, Mufti Hussain Kamani reminds the listener as to why any form of domestic violence (Physical, emotional or Mental abuse) is forbidden in prohibited in Islam. Thousands of women are killed each year all over the world including the US and sadly for far too long this issue has been pushed under the rugs. This practice goes against the Sunnah of Prophet  as he never abused his wives and instructed his companions to be among those who stand up against injustice and oppression. It is high time that we as take the lead in insuring that Domestic violence is not just reduced but completed eradicated from our communities.

 

 

Source