Marriage issues, Waswasah and Talaq

[ummtaalib]

Aslaam Alaikum I have some questions relating to the same topic. I firstly like to apologise about the length of the question. Please reply.

1) I am suffering from very bad waswasa of divorce thoughts lately, which come to me without my will or intention. Because i am suffering from waswasa everything i say becomes a real struggle of the mind. If i say something to anyone or read quran or a book, something in my head makes me believe that i am saying these things to my wife. For example i might be getting angry towards my brother but something in my mind makes me believe that i am saying these words to my wife. Or if I have a book or papers or clothes in my hand and something in my head makes me feel that there is a metaphor on there and makes me feel there is intention. What do I do? please tell me how to solve this problem of unintentional thoughts? Everytime I talk or write, something makes me feel that there is intention, but in reality I have no intention. I am struggling. BECAUSE OF THIS CONDITION I FEEL THERE IS A LACK OF SELF CONTROL IN ME AND I AM SCARED THAT BECAUSE OF THIS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO CONTROL MY INTENTIONS AND MY THOUGHTS, WHAT DO I DO?

2) At one point I was at my in-laws and I was standing by the door waiting for my wife. My sister in law asked me if I was going, it was just a general/normal question. At first I didn't reply because of these thoughts, because they make me feel that I am aiming it towards my wife, but really I have no intention. So she asked me again and I said 'yes/yeah'. At that moment something in my head made me feel that I am saying 'yes/yeah' to divorce. But really I have no intention and I don't intend to. I would like to know what the ruling would be IF there was intention in saying of 'yes/yeah' to a normal general question as explained, would that count?

3)If someone writes just their signature with intention (in their mind) on plain paper or a business contract or a document or a general printed paper sitting on a table with possible metaphors printed on, would that count? No verbal speech is spoken or anything written by them self or given except the writing of the signature

4) If someone is holding in their hand a bottle of drink Or a receipt or money Or a book Or some clothes Or a general paper for normal use and there might be some possible metaphors already printed on these and then all of a sudden that person gives these to the wife with intention without speaking or saying anything OR has intention whilst holding these, OR puts on a already printed poster with metaphors already written with intention in mind(does not say anything or write ), would that count? Or whilst holding these they look at the metaphors that are already printed on these and have intention in their mind and give these to the wife without speaking, would that count?

5)If someone clicks on a metaphor or the actual statement on the computer using a mouse or clicks on a link which then brings up metaphors or clicks on an actual statement or a link using the mouse on the computer with intention, would that count? No metaphor or statement is written themselves.

6)If someone points to the door or uses other hand actions with intention and dont speak , would that count?

7) If someone say 'friends' or mentions a name or says parent with intention would that count?

8) If someone writes a metaphor without intention. After a moment due to confusion I thought there was intention when I wrote it, but after some thinking I realised there wasn't. So I think I verbally said to myself ' there was no intention at the time of writing the metaphor but the intention came AFTER a short while of writing this word'. And then after some more thinking I then said to myself ' there was no intention at all''. Could you tell me if this would count if I did say this? Also I would like to know If there was no intention at the time of writing the metaphor, but the intention came after 1-2 seconds, would that count? Please note that there was no intention when the metaphor was written.

9) Also I would like to know, if a person WRITES e-mail to find out the ruling and on the e-mail its written that they said or wrote a metaphor with intention, but in reality they didn't say it or write it with intention or the metaphor was never spoken, would that count just because they wrote in the email that they said it or wrote it with intention, when really there was no intention at the time of saying or writing or it was not spoken ?

10) If someone is in doubt and confused about saying a statment or a metaphor to his wife and says 'I said the statement.....etc' and then after some thinking he says I didn't say it and it was all doubt and confusion, would that count just because he said that he said it?

11) If someone says Withdraw/s or return or returned, or (Turja'oon which means returned, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

12) If someone says Waladaaleen in Surah Fatiha and the intention is on the 'went' word (those who went astray ), would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

13) If someone says location or a name of a place, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

14) If someone says old or out of date/d, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

15) If someone says that's enough or 'off, would that count? Nothing else is uttered. 16) If someone says Liberation would that count?

17) If someone says 'To move briskly or spiritedly' , to it, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

18) If someone asks that have you any child and that person says 'not yet' with intention, would that count? Do metaphors need to be said directly to the person or indirectly? If I have confused you please ask me.Please forgive me if this is in length and strange.

19) If a person asks another person to write a word that is a possible metaphor with the intention in the MIND but does not say the intention to the person and only asks to write the word, can that happen?

20)If someone say an address or the first line for an address, would that count?

Please reply. Jazakalla 

 

 

 

Answer

Bismillah

Al-jawab billahi at-taufeeq (the answer with Allah's guidance)


1) It appears that you are suffering from a medical condition that affects the balance of your thought and mind. We advise that you consult a Doctor/Physicians and once he diagnoses your illness, you should make two people your witness that you are suffering from this illness and you have no intention of divorcing your wife.


Curing Wasawis (pl. of Waswasa):

Waswasa is from the Shaitan one should treat it with contempt and pay no attention to such thoughts and do not bother. If one gives a little attention to such thoughts, the Shaytan feels honoured. It has achieved its purpose of diverting one’s mind in wrong. One should never give into that. Simply treat such thoughts with contempt and ignore them.

"We sent down in the Quran that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe." (17:82)

Recite ‘Laa hawla walaa Quwwata Illaa Billaah’ abundantly.

Recite Istighfaar as much as possible.

Recite Ta’awudh (A’oodhu Billaah).

Recite La Ilaha IllAllahu Muhammadur Rasulullah.

Recite Muawwazatain (Surah Naas and Falaq), Surah Fatiha and Ayatul Kursi.


2) Talaq will not count. Because the question asked was not related in the context of divorce.

3, 7) Talaq will not take place. Because the mentioned metaphors are not intended to mean divorce.

4, 5) Talaq will not take effect. Because the Talaq must initiate from the husband either in verbal or written.

6) Talaq will not count. However, if one utters divorce saying like this, and uses gestures with fingers i.e. thumb, shahadah and middle fingers, then three divorce will take effect. (see more: Al Hidayah).

If a person is dumb, his Talaq will be with gestures. (Al Hidayah)

8) If one has written a metaphor which is intended for divorce and made the intention aswell, Talaq will take effect.

Thus, Talaq takes affect when it is clearly uttered or written and allusively uttered or written with the intention made at the same time. (Al Hidayah)

9) Talaaq will not take place. This is because, no thought of your wife or divorcing her was occuring in your mind rather you was just inquiring a Mas'alah with regards to Talaq.

10) If you are in doubt, Talaq will not take place.

"Al Yaqeen La Yazulu Bish Shak" (Certainty is not invalidated by doubt)

(Al Ashbah Wan Nazair Pg. 60)

Dispute between husband and wife with Talaq:http://www.muftisays.com/qa/question/3851/is-this-divorce-valid-or-not.html

11) the word 'withdraw' and 'return', if intention was made then Talaq will take effect.

12) Talaq will not count. Because, the word 'Wa Ladhwaleen' (those who went astray) does not intend to mean divorce.

The remaining questions has already been answered, please view this links:

http://www.muftisays.com/qa/question/4120/single-words-of-divorce.html

And Only Allah Ta'ala Knows Best.

--------------------------------------
Moulana Qamruz Zaman
London, UK

muftisays.com