Various Polyginy Fatwas

[ummtaalib]

Various fatawa from Mufti A S Desai (Damat Barakutuhum):

QUESTION
Will a man’s Nikah be valid to more than one wife if he knows that he cannot support them?

ANSWER
It is permissible for a man to marry four wives. It is compulsory for him to provide equal financial expenses and equal nights to all his wives. A husband who discriminates between his wives with regard to these two aspects (support and nights) will rise on the Day of Qiyaamah with half of his body paralyzed. This is only one form of punishment. If he is unable to maintain more than one wife, then he should not marry again. However, the Nikah will be valid even if he knows that he is unable to maintain more than one wife. The effects and consequences of marriage come into existence only after Nikah. If a man gets married to a woman for the first time, i.e. she is his first wife, then too it is Waajib (compulsory) on him to support her and spend the nights with her. Just as it is compulsory to fulfil the rights of one wife, so too is it compulsory to fulfil the rights of the other wives. If a man believes that he will be unable to fulfil the rights of a second, third and fourth wife, then he should not get married to more women. However, the Nikah will be valid in the same way as the Nikah is valid with the first wife. For example, when a man married his first wife, he was fully aware at the time that he will be unable to support her financially nor afford to provide her a home. In this case too, he should not marry until such time that he can fulfil the rights of a wife. Nevertheless, if he does get married, the marriage will be valid. The same rationale applies when he marries a second wife. The Nikah will be valid. Failing to observe the rights of the wives is a separate sin.


QUESTION
Is it correct that a man has to treat his wives equally both financially and emotionally?

ANSWER
Equality applies to financial support and night times. It does not apply to the emotional aspect. It is impossible to treat wives equally in terms of emotion. The Qur’aan makes it clear that a man is not blameworthy or sinful if there is no emotional equality. It is just natural to love one wife more than the other for a variety of reasons. However, he is not permitted to display his emotional inequality to the other wives. It is not permissible for the husband to discriminate between his wives and curtail any of their rights because he may love one wife more.


QUESTION
Does the first wife have a say in her husband’s second marriage? Does the husband have to get her permission?

ANSWER
The husband does not require the consent of the first wife for marrying a second wife. No wife will grant permission. A subsequent marriage is not reliant on the consent of the existing wife.


QUESTION
Is it permissible for a man to marry a second and third wife only for the sake of fulfilling his sexual desires?

ANSWER
It is permissible for a man to marry another wife even if it is only for the sake of his sexual desires just as it is permissible to get married to one woman for the sake of sexual desire. All men marry primarily for this reason. The other aspects, e.g. procreation, caring for the women, etc., are by-products. Despite their fundamental importance, it is furthest from the minds of men when they marry. Only those with exceptionally high Taqwa have the other factors of altruism in mind.


QUESTION
I am a divorcee who intends getting married to a married man. My family is dead against the marriage. They say that a woman who becomes a second wife is a ‘whore’ and a ‘slut’. She brings disgrace to the ‘izzat’ (honour and respect) of the family. Please give me some advice. I am in a dilemma. Is it permissible for me to get married without their consent?

ANSWER
Your family is displaying a crudely un-Islamic attitude akin to kufr. They appear to be victims of Hindu culture. Their attitude and vile statements in deprecation of marrying and being a second wife are undoubtedly kufr. They have lost their Imaan with such statements and attitudes. It is necessary that they renew their Imaan and their Nikah. When Allah Ta’ala has permitted polygamy in the Qur’aan, it is clear kufr to refer to a woman as a ‘whore’, ‘slut’, etc. merely because she chooses to avail herself of a right which Allah Ta’ala has granted. By ‘disgrace’ they are implying that Allah’s Law is bringing disgrace to them. For such people who see ‘izzat’ in Hindu and other kuffaar customs, attitudes and practices, the Qur’aan Majeed says: “What! Do you search for izzat from them (kuffaar)? All Izzat belongs to Allah.” Disgrace is in the commission of haraam, and Izzat is in following Allah’s Shariah. In the circumstances ignore the haraam statements of kufr which your family members are making. You are an adult. According to Islam you can represent yourself. You don’t need anyone to represent you for Nikah. Have a small Nikah. The minimum requisites for the validity of a Nikah is the presence of two male Muslim witnesses, the bride and the bridegroom.


QUESTION
A 28 year old widow is prepared and desperate to get married to a pious married man. She is prepared to be his second wife and to spend only two nights a week with him. The man too is keen to marry her, but the whole community including the families of the man and the woman are against this second marriage. Will the man and the woman be sinning if they get married against the wishes of the community?

ANSWER
In fact, they will be getting much thawaab for ignoring the stupid and shaitaani wishes of an errant community who follows the path of shaitaan. It is the man’s Qur’aanic right to marry this woman. Marrying widows/divorcees is also perfectly permissible. While the errant community will rather condone the man committing adultery, they will not accept a sacred union, viz. Nikah. The man should ignore the wishes and criticism of the community and proceed with his new Nikah.


QUESTION
My second wife forbids me from spending much time with my first wife and children by her. She makes my life miserable when she discovers that I was with my first wife for any part of the day. She even insists that I spend more nights with her than with my first wife. What is the Shariah’s ruling on this issue?

ANSWER
The ruling is very clear and concise which every Muslim is aware of. You are required to mete out equality of financial expenses and equality of night times between your wives. It is compulsory to spend an equal number of nights with each wife. The rule of equality does not apply to daylight hours. You may apportion out the daylight hours to your convenience. It is haraam for you to submit to the unlawful dictates of your second wife. If such submission leads to violation of the rights of your first wife, you will be guilty of a major sin. You will be inviting calamities on yourself and on the Day of Qiyaamah you will be resurrected with half your body paralysed. Allah Ta’ala has made the husband the dominant one and the ruler of his home. He is not supposed to be a cuckold and submit to the haraam commands and wishes of his wives.


QUESTION
Does the Shariah impose any controls or restrictions on a man if he wishes to take a second and a third wife? Some argue that if a man is not wealthy, it is not permissible for him to marry a second wife. Is this correct?

ANSWER
Marrying a second, third and fourth wife is just like marrying a first wife. Assuming that a man who is not wealthy or who is poor is not allowed to marry a second wife, then by the same token he should not be permitted to marry a first wife. To be wealthy is not a condition for the validity or for even the permissibility of marriage, whether it be to a first, second, third or fourth wife. The husband is required to mete out equality to all his wives. This is his obligation. A faqeer (pauper) is obliged to maintain his wife. However, the Shariah does not stipulate that he first earns and saves up money, then marries. He may marry even during his state of poverty. After marriage, he has to work and ensure that he provides the expenses for his wife. The same applies to the person who marries a plurality of wives. Those who claim that the Shariah imposes restrictions on a man who wishes to marry again, are in error. They are affected by western concepts and suffer from an inferiority in thinking, which they gained from their western upbringing.


QUESTION:
What is the attitude of the Shariah towards a person who despises and criticizes a second, third and fourth Nikah?

ANSWER:
Despising or criticizing second, third and fourth marriages is an attitude of kufr. It is the product of westernism and the liberal education of universities. The following is the Fatwa o¬n this question issued by Hadhrat Maulana Rashid Ahmad Gangohi (rahmatullah alayh):

"A person who finds fault with any hukm (law) of Allah Ta’ala or way of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), considering it to be dishonourable and its upholder to be shameless, is undoubtedly a mal-oon (accursed), an opponent of Allah and a kaafir. He is a murtadd (renegade) and a jahannami (destined for Jahannum). Inspite of acknowledging polygamy being a hukm of Allah Ta’ala and a Sunnat, he persists in despising this hukm o¬n account of customary practice. This aggravates his kufr and opposition to Allah Ta’ala. He is an unfortunate mal-oon, for he believes his custom (the prevailing attitude of people) is better than the law of Allah Ta’ala. To sever all ties from such a person and to ostracize him are precise acts of the Deen. It is never permissible to maintain family and friendship ties with him. It is imperative to remain aloof from him. Believing him to be the most-hated creature of Allah’s creation. Become his enemy. Never perform Janaazah Salaat for him because he is a kaafir. This is recorded in the Kutub of Hadith, Fiqh and Aqaaid."

This Fatwa which was ratified and counter-signed by fifty Muftis of Hadhrat Gangohi’s time, is adequate commentary of the Shariah’s attitude towards those who despise and criticize the Qur’aanic permission of polygamy.


QUESTION
A man married a second wife without the knowledge of his first wife. Some years later the first wife discovered this. Now she and her family are demanding that the husband divorces his second wife. What should he do?

ANSWER
He should do what the Shariah instructs him. He should never submit to the haraam dictates of his wife and her family. It is haraam for him to divorce his second wife to satisfy the haraam dictates of his first wife and her miserable family. They are enemies of Allah’s Deen, hence they display such kufr.


QUESTION
Many people say that the second wife is a home-breaker. Please comment.

ANSWER
It is not the second wife who is a home breaker. The kufr concealed in the heart of the first wife is the homebreaker. When a person is dissatisfied with Allah’s laws, then Allah Ta’ala constrains that person to damn himself/herself by displaying his/her kufr.


 

[ummtaalib]

Does one have to make up for the time spent on journey with one wife?

Q: My question is that if a person has two wives in Pakistan and he travels with one of them to Denmark for thirty five days where he is with her 20 days and went 15 days alone to Germany. When they come back to Pakistan, how many nights he should be with his other wife which he left in Pakistan. All 35 nights or 20 nights?

A: The time spent on journey will not have to be taken into account. Hence you do not have to make up for that time. However after returning from the journey, you should exercise equality between your wives.

And Allah Ta'ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

قال ولا حق لهن في القسم حالة السفر فيسافر الزوج بمن شاء منهن والأولى أن يقرع بينهن فيسافر بمن خرجت قرعتها وقال الشافعي رحمه الله القرعة مستحقة لما روي أن النبي عليه الصلاة والسلام كان إذا أراد سفرا أقرع بين نسائه إلا أنا نقول إن القرعة لتطييب قلوبهن فيكون من باب الاستحباب وهذا لأنه لا حق للمرأة عند مسافرة الزوج ألا يرى أن له أن لا يستصحب واحدة منهن فكذا له أن يسافر بواحدة منهن ولا يحتسب عليه بتلك المدة وإن رضيت إحدى الزوجات بترك قسمها لصاحبتها جاز لأن سودة بنت زمعة رضي الله عنها سألت رسول الله عليه الصلاة والسلام أن يراجعها وتجعل يوم نوبتها لعائشة رضي الله عنها ولها أن ترجع في ذلك لأنها أسقطت حقا لم يجب بعد فلا يسقط والله أعلم (هداية 2/349)

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

[MUSLIM WOMAN]

 

 

 

Jazakillilah   khair  sis  for  sharing  such  informative   posts.

[AishaZaynap]

It is a very intresting thread. I have a question, since man is allowed to get married 4 times , wouldnt all of his wifes gets jealous by one another?? After all if someone has your man, you cant stand to it that easily and when you are a jealous and type of a person who doesnt want to share husband? What happens?

[ummtaalib]

: )

 

I've never seen a discussion on this topic without emotions getting the better of people...

 

There would be jealousy as its a natural instinct however I believe it would work if everyone concerned (men and women) kept the laws of Allah ta'ala in the forefront. There are many examples of women quite happily sharing a husband...as seen here and here ...