From Frustration To Regret - It's A Long Story!

[LOVE ISLAM]

 

Quick background:

Here is a brief reminder for all the teenagers out there. I'm sure a lot of the teenagers can relate to this. Bear with me.

 

You know how in all those sitcoms on Nick, they show the parents as a real pain and a real embarrassment and call it "fashion"? Well, I, for one thing, have come across girls saying stuff like: "Man, I don't understand why my Mom does that - she lives in such a cave, telling me off all the time", or calling them "oldies". Get the drift?

 

So, for many of us, disliking our parents, showing our aversion from them, being so aloof from them has become a "teenage thing". It's fashion. Hey, it's cool. And things like: caring for them, being their best friend, spending time with them has become something we look down upon and something we embarrassingly cringe away from.

 

Well, here's the truth and the Islamic perspective:

I just want you to go through a little flashback. Take your time.

 

Have you ever seen a Mom with a baby? How the little thing is so helpless; can't even eat, can't sleep, can't walk - can do nothing. It needs the Mom for every thing. And the child can bearly be without her. The moment she disappears, it gets scared. 

But when we grow up, where does all that "clinginess" and love go? Why do we forget the sacrifices our Mom's make so fast? Bit mean, don't you think?

 

Because you're still not religious enough if you're doing all your prayers, fasts, what not but your parents still cry because of you and you talk back. Not gonna work.

 

It's a major, major sin to mistreat them! And we tend to take it so lightly.

 

You need to go back into your past and think of all the times your parents were there for you, all they did for you, the sacrifices they made and are still making. So what if they make some mistakes sometimes? Their love outweights it all!

Sometimes it does happen that they are being unreasonable or maybe even unfair towards us, but still we've not been given the right to misbehave with them, argue with them, snap at them and abhor them!

They're wrong sometimes, sure, but it doesn't make mistreating them halal you see.

Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on that mother who taught you how to speak!

 

What needs to be done?

The importance of honouring one’s parents is:

 

Firstly: it is obedience to Allaah and His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

 

“And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:8]

 

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’” [al-Israa’ 17:23]

 

In al-Saheehayn it is reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked which deed is the best? He said, ‘Faith in Allaah and His Messenger, then honouring one’s parents…’” And there are many other Aayat and Mutawaatir Ahaadeeth which say similar things.

 

Secondly: obeying and honouring one’s parents is a means of entering Paradise, as it was reported in Saheeh Muslim from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is doomed, he is doomed, he is doomed.” It was said, “Who, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “The person whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter Paradise.” (Saheeh Muslim, 4627).

 

Scholars even say this: honoring one's parents is an expiation for major sins!

 

Honouring one’s parents means obeying them, respecting them, praying for them, lowering one's voice in their presence, smiling at them, lowering the wing of humility to them, not showing displeasure towards them, striving to serve them, fulfilling their wishes, consulting them, listening to what they say, not being stubborn towards them.

 

Honouring them also means visiting them, offering them gifts, thanking them for bringing you up and treating you kindly when you were small and after you grew up. 

It also means striving to reduce the arguments between them, by offering sincere advice and reminding them as much as you can.

 

No matter how your parents treat you, you should follow the good manners described above, so as to avoid everything that may make them angry or upset, so long as that does not lead to sin or disobedience towards Allaah, because the rights of Allaah come before the rights of other people. 

 

Bottom line:

 

They're not here to stay. They'll die one day. We all will. Make sure you save yourself that painful remorse you can feel then of not being good to them while you could.

 

Make a resolution, ditch the evil ways, care for them and show it. Tell them how much they mean to you. Little gestures mean a lot. A gift, a kind word, giving them time, listening to their probs...

 

Your father isn't backward; he still knows the world better than you!

Your mother isn't feelingless; she just keeps ignoring her wishes so that you can prefer and live yours.

Your parents are not an embarrassment; they should be the sun in your life.

They don't hate you; they loved you when you didn't even know what love was.

They might be a burden on you now, but they never thought of you that way even when, because they were so busy taking care of you, they forgot to have a life!

 

Right now you might be frustrated. Tired of them. But trust me when I say this: we all go through this and then there comes a time when hey suddenly you grow up and realize the blessing your parents really were. Then comes the pain. Of regret. The journey from this teen frustration to that mature regret is really painful, don't learn things the hard way.

 

Live a guilt free life!