ummtaalib

<QUESTION> My father is not Muslim, my parents got separated and then my mother became Muslim. Since then they didn't have contact. May I consider him my mahram? May I take off the hijab in front of him and kiss him? <ANSWER> In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, You may consider your non-Muslim father as your Mahram, thus uncover (parts of the body that can be exposed in front Mahrams) in front of him. Imam al-Kasani (Allah have mercy on him) states: “A Mahram is one with whom marriage is permanently unlawful… whether this Mahram is a free person or a slave, for slavery is not contrary to close relationship (mahramiyya), and whether he is a Muslim, a non-Muslim or an atheist (mushrik), for a non-Muslim Mahram normally safeguards her, except that he is a fire worshipper, for he considers marriage with her to be permissible.” (Bada’i al-Sana’i, 2/124) However, if there is a fear of temptation (fitna) on either side or you fear that by kissing him, he will have evil thoughts and desires, you must avoid uncovering in front of him and kissing him. The jurists (fuqaha) have stated that, covering becomes necessary even in front of Mahrams if there is a fear of Fitna or desire. Today we live in a time where sexual impropriety is becoming common in non-Muslims, thus one must be careful. If your non-Muslim father is old or you feel that he will have no evil thoughts, then it would be permitted to remove your Hijab in front of him and kiss him. And Allah knows best [Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam Darul Iftaa Leicester , UK

Q. I have heard that when the rooster crows, it means that angels are around. Is this true? Jazak ALLAH (Query published as received) A. Yes, this is true, it is mentioned in the Hadith and Dua is encouraged during these moments. Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah (Radiyallahu Anhu) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “When you hear the crow of the rooster, then take advantage of Allah’s grace and ask Him for the rooster has sighted an angel. And when you hear a donkey bray, ask Allah for protection for it has seen a shaitaan” (Sahih Muslim, Hadith #: 2729) And Allah Knows Best Mufti Suhail Tarmahomed Fatwa Department Jamiatul Ulama (KZN)

Question Salam maulana, my wifes had a miscarriage after 10 weeks pregnancy, does she have to pray namaz as she’s bleeding? Jk Answer Walaikumussalam She shudn’t pray for her usual days of haidh, eg 6/7. After that she has to pray even if bleeding continues. This miscarriage is of foetus, the rooh had not been breathed in as yet, thus the bleeding will be classed as haidh. If the baby was over 16 weeks, then rooh would have been breathed in and the baby would have been complete and the bleeding would have been classed as nifaas. The maximum period of nifas is 40 days. Wassalam http://www.tafseer-raheemi.com/q656-bleeding-after-miscarriage-namaz-or-not/

wa'alaykumus salaam yes there is a video link sis

Entering Into Marriage Wthout The First Wife's Knowledge <QUESTION> I am a 25 year old woman. About 2 years ago I entered into a relationship with a married man on the basis that he did not get on with his wife and that the only reason he could not leave her was because he had a child with her meaning that if he left her she would not let him see his child. Since then he has had a second child with his wife, saying that it was a mistake. He has persuaded me to be his second wife which deep down I'm not really happy about but I have come to terms with the situation. However, he has told me that my marriage with him must remain a secret from his wife or else she will leave him and take the kids. He has assured me that he and his wife have no relationship and that he is only in the marriage because of the children. I have no way of finding out whether he is telling the truth. I just have to take his word for it. Will it be a sin on me to marry him without his first wife knowing? Will it be a sin on him to marry a second time without telling his first wife on the basis that if she found out then she will leave and not let him see the kids? If we do get married then is our marriage invalid? <ANSWER> In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, First and foremost, it is necessary that you stop all kind of informal interaction with this man. It is unlawful and sinful to have an informal relationship with a non-Mahram of the opposite gender; hence you must at once cut off any casual relationship with him. Secondly, it is not a pre-requisite to seek the permission of the first wife in order for a man to marry second time; neither is it necessary for him to inform her. However, what is necessary is that he treats both of his wives in a just and equal manner. Allah Most High says: “If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, three, or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one…(Surah al-Nisa, 3) Thus, if one has to treat both of one’s wives equally and justly, then as a result, he will have to inform his first wife of his second marriage, unless the second wife forgoes her rights of equal treatment. What you really need to do is think deep and hard about the situation. It is generally not advisable for men to marry more than once in our times, because of the harm and wrong that inevitably results, unless there is a genuine need. If you are not happy in being his second wife, then you should not marry him, as that will only bring about harm to you in the future. He says not to inform his first wife because she will leave him and take the children with her, so for how much longer will the situation remain like this? Will you not be able to have a proper marital relationship with him? What will happen when you have children with him? These and other such issues are what you really need to think and ponder over. If you are willing and happy to be his second wife, then strictly speaking, your marriage with him would be valid (provided all the necessary ingredients for a valid marriage are met). However, from a practical and moral perspective, you need to be careful, cautious, and mindful of what the consequences of this will be in the future. You will need to discuss the matter with family and friends, especially those who know him closely. And Allah knows best [Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam Darul Iftaa Leicester , UK

<QUESTION> Recently, there was an event held where Muslim men and women were praying together, in the same line. The women were on one side of the line, the men on the other, but without any barrier between them. There just may have been a few feet of empty space between the man on the very right and woman on the very left. What’s the ruling on this? <ANSWER> In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, The general ruling is that women should stand behind men when they are praying together in congregation. Sayyiduna Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) narrates from the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) that he said: “The best rows for men are the first rows, and the worst ones are the last ones. The best rows for women are the last ones, and the worst ones for them are the first ones.” (Sahih Muslim, no: 440) Hence, it is stated in the renowned Hanafi Fiqh masterpiece, al-Hidaya: “Men will make their rows first, then children and thereafter women…” (al-Hidaya, 1/124. Also see: Maraqi al-Falah, P: 249, al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 1/89 and others) According to the Hanafi School, if a woman was to pray next to a man, the prayer of the man would become invalid, and not the prayer of the woman. However, there are certain conditions in order for the man’s prayer (salat) to become invalid: These conditions are as following: 1) The woman has reached puberty or is close to puberty in such a way that sexual gratification is typically acquired from her. 2) The prayer they are both offering consists of bowing (ruku’) and prostration (sajda), even if one of them may be gesturing. Hence, the funeral prayer of a man will not be invalidated if a woman prays next to him, for it does not consist of a Ruku’ and Sajda. 3) Both the man and woman are offering the same prayer with the same Tahrima. In other words, they are both following the same Imam or the woman is following the man. If they are offering their own individual prayers, the man’s prayer will not become invalid. 4) There is no barrier between the man and woman. However, if there is a barrier between them such as a pillar, then the man’s prayer would not become invalid. This barrier should be, at minimum, the size of the rear of a saddle in length, and to the thickness of a finger. Moreover, empty space is also considered to be a barrier, the minimum of which should be that in which a person is able to stand. Thus, if a man prayed next to a woman without a barrier, but there was enough space between them for another person to stand, then the man’s prayer would not become invalid. 5) The Imam makes the intention of the woman following him, for if the Imam fails to make this intention, her prayer would become invalid rather than the man’s, as the Imam’s intention is a requirement for the correctness of a woman’s prayer. Moreover, the condition is that the Imam makes this intention (of the woman following him) at the time of commencing prayer, thus if a woman came later on and joined in the congregation and the Imam made the intention of her joining him, no one’s prayer would become invalid. 6) The woman is from amongst those whose prayer is considered valid; hence, if an insane woman (majnuna) prayed next to a man, his prayer would not be invalidated. 7) The woman remains praying next to the man for the duration of one complete posture (rukn) of Salat such as the duration in which one can offer a Ruku’ or Sajda. (This is normally estimated to be the duration of reading Subhan Allah thrice). Hence, if a woman remained next to him for a period shorter than this and then left, the man’s prayer would not become invalid. 8) Both the woman and man pray in the same direction, hence if they were facing in different directions, such as when praying in the Ka’ba, then the man’s prayer would not be invalidated. (See: al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 1/89 & Radd al-Muhtar, 1/572) The above are eight conditions that need to be found in order for a man’s prayer to become invalid when praying next to a woman. If any one of these conditions is not met, his prayer would not be invalidated. It is important to remember here that there is a slight difference of opinion amongst the classical Hanafi Fuqaha with regards to the actual method of being next to someone of the opposite gender. Is the prayer invalidated with any limb of one’s body being in line with any limb of the other’s body or is the ruling based on the positioning of the feet? Some jurists are of the view that if any limb of the woman is in line with any limb of the man, the man’s prayer would become invalid. Therefore, whilst prostrating, if a woman’s head becomes in line with the feet of the man, his prayer would be invalidated. However, the relied upon opinion and that chosen by Ibn Abidin and others is that the ruling will be based on the feet and in particular the heel. Thus, the man’s prayer would not become invalid, as long as his heel is in front of the woman’s heel. (Radd al-Muhtar, 1/572) Given this difference of opinion, it is best for a spouse, for example, to stand completely behind her husband when praying in congregation. However, their prayer will be valid as long as her feet and heel are behind her husband’s heel. It is also worth remembering here that this above-mentioned ruling applies to all types of women, Mahram and non-Mahram, related or unrelated, provided she has attained puberty or she is close to puberty such that sexual gratification is typically acquired from her. (al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 1/89) Based on the above explanation, if men and women were praying together in the same line in a congregation and behind one Imam, then the man who is standing at the end of the men’s line which is connected to the women’s line, his prayer will not be valid, provided all the other above-mentioned conditions are met. Imam Abd al-Hay al-Lakhnawi (Allah have mercy on him) states in his notes on Imam al-Marghinani’s renowned al-Hidaya: “Marghinani’s statement: “And that there is no barrier” It is regarding this, Imam Abu Yusuf (Allah have mercy on him) said that if men and women prayed together in one line, the prayer of only one man, the one standing between the men’s and women’s line, will become invalid. And this man will be considered a barrier between the other men and women.” (See: al-Hidaya with notes from Imam al-Lakhnawi, 1/125, Indian print) However, this is when all the above-mentioned conditions are found. Hence, if there was a barrier between the men’s and women’s lines which also includes empty space that would be sufficient for a person to stand in, then the man standing at the edge of the row, his prayer will not be invalidated. In conclusion, it is always best for women to stand completely behind men whilst offering prayer jointly, even if the woman is a close family member. If a woman prayed next to a man, the prayer of the man will become invalid. However, in order for the man’s prayer to become invalid, certain necessary conditions have to be found. If any one condition is not met, his prayer would not be invalidated. And Allah knows best [Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam Darul Iftaa Leicester , UK

Several years ago a Sheik recounted what happened to him after he had moved to London. He often took the bus from his home to the downtown area. Some weeks after he arrived, he had the occasion to ride the same bus. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a twenty pence ('tuppence') too much change. As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, you better give the twenty pence back. It would be wrong to keep it. Then he thought, "Oh, forget it, its only tuppence. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway the bus company already gets too much fare; they will never miss it." Just than the verse of the Qur'an flashed through his mind like a lightning… "O you who believe! Fear Allah and be with those who are truthful." (Qur'an-9:119). When his stop came, the Sheik paused momentarily at the door, then he handed the twenty pence back to the driver and said, "Here, you gave me too much change". The driver with a smile, replied," Aren't you the new Imam in this area? I have been thinking lately about accepting Islam and going to worship at your Mosque. I just wanted to see what you would do, if I gave you too much change." When the Sheik stepped off the bus, his knees became weak and soft, he had to grab the nearest light pole and held on for support, and looked up to the heavens and cried, "Oh Allah, I almost sold You and Islam for twenty pence!" EISLAM

An Imam was teaching a weekend class to teenage boys. He noticed one of his students a Sixteen year old called Naseem looked distracted, he had been like that for several weeks now, In almost every class he would sit day dreaming. So the Imam asked him to stay behind after class. As the class finished and the other students left. The Imam asked " O Naseem I see that your mind has been distracted for several weeks now. Is there anything troubling you?." Naseem shook his head. " There Must be something wrong, Is everything okay at home?" The Imam asked: "Yes everything is fine sir" replied Naseem. "How about school? you are not being bullied are you ? if so I can come and speak to your teachers." Naseem again shook his head." Okay you may leave." said the Imam. That evening the Imam reflected on his conversation with the young man and finally it occurred: " Aha" he said: " The Boy has a Crush on some girl". So the following week the boys were employed in helping clear some land adjacent to the mosque which had been purchased by the worshipers to be used as a car park. All the bushes and brambles were cut down and were set alight . As the boys stood and watched the fire The Imam called over Naseem he said: "O Naseem I know what has been distracting you, You have a crush on some girl". Naseem blushed and did not say anything. " Naseem concentrate on your studies and do not get involved in such things, for it is Haram to engage in such behaviour." "But I love her". replied Naseem The Imam said "you really love her". " Yes" replied Naseem . would you be willing to jump into that fire for her if she asked you?" " No" replied Naseem in astonishment; " So you don't really love her?" Said the Imam " Yes I do" replied Naseem; " Then prove it let me see you place just one finger in the heat of that fire" "No" shouted Naseem clearly frightened by the Imams behaviour. " O Naseem if you are unwilling to place just one finger into this fire of the duniya then how will you cope with the fire of hell? which is far, far worse if she is not worth jumping into this fire, then how can she be worth jumping into the fire of hell ?" If you go down this path it will harm both your Duniyah and Akhira, you will suffer anguish and heartbreak. Naseem it is better to get married, would you like to have a wife who is chaste and modest?", "Yes", replied Naseem: "Then guard your chastity for the sake of Allah and Allah will bless you with a wife who is chaste and pious he will bless you with children who are god fearing and obedient." A few months later Naseem stopped attending classes. One day about ten years later as the Imam was leaving the Masjid, a handsome young man adorned with a beard and white turban. greeted the Imam and Embraced him. The Imam was puzzled he did not recognize this young man what could be his reason for showing such familiarity and affection he thought to himself. " Sir do you recognize me". asked the Youngman; " I do not recognize you my son perhaps you have mistaken me for someone else." " sir you advised me many years ago that before falling into the sin of Zina, I should reflect whether the woman was worth jumping into the fire for, you also told me that if I wished to have a wife who is chaste and pious I should ensure that I guard my own chastity." " Oh yes you must be young Naseem what a wonderful surprise", exclaimed the Imam "Yes I am Naseem , Imam sahib I just happened to be in town on business I thought I would stop by and thank you for the wonderful advice that you gave me as a teenager. Due to it I was prevented from falling into sin, many times I was tempted and by the grace of Allah your words would resonate in my mind, "Is she worth it ? would you be willing to jump into the fire for her?" and " If you wish to have a wife who is chaste then Guard your chastity." Today I am reaping the benefits from the fruits of patience. I have the most wonderful wife and children and there are many other blessings that Allah has bestowed on me.Whilst many of my friends who fell into the sin of zina are today suffering the consequences of what they did." "All Praise is for Allah who allowed my words to penetrate your heart" said the Imam joyfully. Written By Julaybib.(sunniforum.com) Dedicated to Imam Siraj Wahaj who has a way of explaining Islam to the youth that very few can match may Allah protect him and preserve him ameen. when Shaytaan is Whispering in your heart then reflect on these words: " Is she worth a place in the fire?" and " Do you wish to have a chaste wife? If so then guard your Chastity."

As Salaam Alaykum. Shabbir a young student of knowledge had been thinking of ways he could help in the work of dawah whilst at the same time remaining engaged in his studies He finally got a great idea and yet it was so obvious he was amazed he overlooked it, So he went enthusiastically to his teacher Shaykh Saleem to present his idea; " Sir I have been considering as to how I can best help serve the deen, I have come up with an idea. If you let me I would like to transcribe your speeches and post them on the web. Better still I think that we should set up a website, that way we shall be able to benefit countless number of people and perhaps guide them towards the deen." The Shaykh responded; " Oh young man have I not told you not to go near the internet, for within it is a great fitnah. You will end up losing both your deen and your dunya." Shabbir disheartened by the Shaykh's strong reaction replied ; " Sir through the internet we can help spread the deen to thousand's if not millions, I only ask your permission for the sake of serving the deen. I am well aware of many immoral sites being present on the internet. I seek to establish an Islamic website. I do not wish to set up a site for dating or other immoral activities." The Shaykh detecting the young man's disappointment said: " Shabbir I was just about to take my afternoon walk in the park, why don't you join me. and we can discuss this issue further." As they walked through the park Shabbir was thinking of ways in which he could convince the Shaykh about the benefits of modern technology. The Shaykh broke the silence; "Why don't we go over and give our salaams to Tariq" he said: "Whose Tariq ?" enquired Shabbir, as the Shaykh walked briskly in the direction of some oak trees, Shabbir hurriedly chased after him as they got closer to the Oak trees he saw that beneath one of the Large oak trees was a wooden bench on it sat a homeless man holding a bottle of alchohol in his hands. He looked as if he had not had a bath in years, He was wearing jeans that were covered in dirt, and a t shirt that had the remnants of food attached to it. The Shaykh went across and greeted Tariq and offered a few kind words to him. Tariq who was clearly drunk, seemed to be in a world of his own, he slurred as he spoke and very little of what he said could be comprehended, the shaykh promised to make dua for the drunk, and returned to join shabbir. The Shaykh spoke " I see you did not go over to greet Tariq perhaps you think you are superior to him." "Excuse me sir but he is a useless drunk I mean how could anybody become like that, may Allah protect us from such people",replied Shabbir. The Shaykh said;"What If I were to tell you that he was once one of my students, and not just an ordinary student he was perhaps the brightest I ever had." "He used to be a student of religious knowledge" exclaimed shabbir in surprise. "Yes and let me tell you how he reached his present condition. about five years ago he came to me with the exact same proposal that you did today. He wanted to set up an Islamic website to help preach the deen. Normally I would have been quite apprehensive but was no ordinary student, he had an exceptional ability as a preacher. during his free time he would work tirelessly in helping the young men on the streets and many were guided due to his efforts. So anyway he set up a website for Islam and it became very popular attracting, alot of the youth Tariq would sympathetically deal with the problems of the young, and he was admired by many. I would periodically check with him as to how things were going. He would point to me the articles that were being posted on this website by young muslims. After several months I noticed something disturbing everytime I would sit with him. He would show me some articles that were posted on the website, the only problem was that the articles he was so enthusiastically speaking of were being posted by the same person a young muslimah. I told him Tariq my son fear Allah and seek refuge from shaytaan for his whispers are penetrating your heart. Her articles are no better then the rest. It seems to me that the seeds from the disease of zina are growing in your heart. he got extremely angry and accused me of slandering him. I decided to shut down the site to protect the young muslims from his fitnah. Tariq out of anger stopped attending my weekly study circles. I saw him some months later in the street he had shaved of his beard. He was now dressed in Jeans and other designer wear. zina had firmly been planted in his heart. He left his wife for another woman some months later the woman left him along with all his savings. He ended up heavily in debt and ended up living on the streets. Thus you see his condition today. So Shabbir I hope you will now understand my reasons for refusing your request. So my son never consider your self immune to this disease, protect your Imaan and engage in your studies. Also you have to remember that Shaytaan has very subtle ways in corrupting the heart and planting the seeds of desire within it. In the real world the muslim might take strict measures in keeping his interaction with the opposite gender to a minimum. On the internet and especially it being an islamic site. He may become lax, the shaytaan will then play tricks with his mind. He may come across someone on the internet who is a complete opposite in manner and speech to his wife for example, he might find the persons personality attractive, he will start harboring thoughts about that person. Pretty soon if he does not control them, then his desires will be awakened and he will seek to satisfy them by the means of an illicit relationship." So Shabbir seek refuge with Allah and stay away from such things." Story written By Julaybib. (sunniforum.com) Inspired by a talk of Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed (db). Called Shaytans temptation of the Youth. and an article I read on this exact issue, a real life story of a sister whose religious husband had started participating in Islamic forums to do dawah work and he ended up falling prey to the whisperings of shaytaan, and becoming heedless. May Allah protect us all from falling into such heedlessness

Mothers Day Composed by Maulana Bilal We live in a world full of people struggling to improve their lifestyle. A world filled with greed, selfishness, and conceit, where every man is more than willing to give up all his values, faith, family and friends to acquire wealth. We find ourselves lost and stuck in the midst of people unable to comprehend death let alone life after death. To whom success is that of this world, where there is no creator to answer to nor lifestyle to adopt. A life similar to that of a dark road leading nowhere. Allah (SWT) has blessed us with the light of iman and the lifestyle of Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wasallam as the road to success. A life of tranquility, simplicity and preparation for the never-ending life. In spite of our beliefs we fall prey to the culture and ways of those around us. Regardless of our resistance and our limited interaction with non-muslims, we find ourselves tightly grasped within the environment they have created. Watching their shows, listening to their stations, reading their newspapers, going to their stores are all means of inclination. Eventually their concerns, problems, occasions and celebration become ours. Mothers Day for instance is a celebration founded by a woman in America in 1914 and is now celebrated worldwide in different ways. In some countries children purchase gifts for their mothers while in others vice versa. Festivals are held, family dinners are arranged, all for the sake of appreciating mothers. Stores begin selling cards, flowers and gifts. Commercials are played on television and radio. Advertisements are displayed on newspaper and billboards. Sales and discounts are found in stores. People who have walked out on their parents when they were young and dropped them in old folks home when they were old, utilize this annual opportunity to compensate for all the wrong they did to her. Unfortunately we are inspired by this spirit and want to adopt it as well. On the other hand we have the beautiful teachings of our Prophet sallahu alaihi wasallam brought to us not in the twentieth century but fourteen hundred years ago. We learn that everyday is mothers day and that our success and “our entry into paradise lies at our mothers feet” (i.e. in her obedience): as mentioned by our dear prophet sallahu alaihi wasallam. (sahih muslim) Even Allah (SWT) speaks very highly of parents and their status in the ayat below: “And your lord has decreed that you worship none but him. And be dutiful to your parents. If one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect nor shout at them but address them with terms of honour” (surah 17:23) We need to realize how much our parents (especially our mother) went through to bring us up. Unfortunately we are easily angered by their questions and frustrated at their comments. How sad it is that parents can repeat themselves over and over again to answer the questions of their young ones but yet when the parents become aged these same children of theirs whom they sacrificed everything for, can not tolerate repeating themselves even once at the parents request. How will we face the questions asked by Allah (SWT) on the day of judgment in regards to the treatment of our parents. In one hadith we learn that “a person who disrespects his parents Allah (SWT) begins punishing him in this very world” (mishkat). Another hadith informs us of “the prophet’s curse being upon someone who had the opportunity to serve his mother in her old age but did not take advantage of it” (mishkat). On the other hand we are told that simple things like smiling at ones parents can be an act of worship and “for every glance of mercy a person makes towards his parents he receives the reward of an accepted hajj”. Someone asked even if he looks at them a hundred times a day? Rasulullah sallahu alaihi wasallam replied in the affirmative (mishkat). In conclusion, Allah (SWT) has blessed us with the best of all religions and with a complete lifestyle which does not need any addition or subtraction. A person gifted with this pattern of life does not need to adopt any other culture of any type. May Allah (SWT) save us from any type of punishment and give us all the opportunity to serve our parents while we can. Ameen. http://www.muftisays.com/viewarticle.php?article=mothersday

Question Are Muslims allowed to celebrate Mothers day and Fathers day? please explain Answer In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. Islam does not recognize the concept of Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. In fact, to single out just one day of the year to honour our fathers and mothers is an embarrassment and humiliation to our parents. Every single moment of our lives is for our fathers and our mothers. Shariah has placed much emphasis on the rights of parents. Mother’s Day celebration started after the civil war in the United States in the 1860s, by Ann Reeves Jarvis. Her intention was to reconcile the differences between the mothers of the Confederate and the Union Soldiers of West Virginia. This effort was again re-established by Julia Ward Howe in 1870. The businessmen saw this as an opportunity to increase their profit margins and so gave it their support. In 1908 with the effort of Anna Jarvis, the daughter of Ann Jarvis, Mother’s Day was acknowledged as a commercial holiday. Subsequently, Father’s Day was commenced in 1909 by Sonora Smart Dodd whose mother had passed away. She along with her other five brothers and sisters were raised by her father and her intention was to honour him for his effort in raising his six children by himself. Over time Mother’s Day and Father’s Day were cemented in the hearts of the people and became holidays. It is conclusive from the above that these holidays are not religious in nature. They were instituted by Americans who were trying to bring peace amongst each other after the civil war. Islam places strong emphasis on enjoining family ties. There should be respect amongst family members all the time and no one day is needed to be singled out for this. Non-Muslims at times may do things that seem appealing. Muslim should not be caught up in the celebrations and traditions of non-Muslims. Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala Says: And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and do good to parents (Quran 17:23). On another occasion, Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala, says أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ}} (Be grateful to Me and to your parents 31:14) It is reported in Sahih Muslim on the authority of Abdullah Ibn Umar Radiyallahu Anhu that a man whose parents were alive came to Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam seeking permission to go in Jihad. The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam told him to carry out jihad in the service of his parents.<!--[if !supportFootnotes]-->[1]<!--[endif]--> It is evident from the above that one should continuously be in the service of their parents even if they are non-Muslims.<!--[if !supportFootnotes]-->[2]<!--[endif]--> In Sahih Al-Bukhari it is reported on the authority of Abdulillah Ibn Umar that Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam said that the noblest thing that a child can do for a father after his death is to treat his friends well. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam says that Jannat lies at the feet of the mother, such that one is not even allowed to go in search of Deeni Knowledge without the permission of his mother.<!--[if !supportFootnotes]-->[3]<!--[endif]--> It is mentioned in one hadith that four times a man asked Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam who was more deserving of his companionship. On the first three occassions Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam says your mother was more deserving. Then on the fourth occasion he Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalam said thereafter your father.<!--[if !supportFootnotes]-->[4]<!--[endif]--> These are just a few of the occasions on which the importance of the parents are being highlighted, to show that at all times parents should be honoured. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Mawlana Saeed Ahmed Golaub Westmoreland, Jamaica, West Indies Student Darul Iftaa Checked and Approved Mufti Ebrahim Desai daruliftaa.net

Major Dutch islamophobe accepts Islam In Holland, a major islamophobic political and social activist, former member of parliament from a right-wing party, Arnoud van Doorn accepted Islam. The former islamophobe announced his decision to accept Islam on his Twitter profile. He says it is a new beginning of his life and published the declaration of Shahada (the words on monotheism to become a Muslim) in Arabic. At first, other users took the news as a joke. After all, an active supporter of a notorious Dutch hater of Islam, Wilders, has repeatedly approved islamophobic statements and public actions, and personally participated in them. But van Doorn, who now serves as a regional adviser at the City Hall in The Hague, personally confirmed his decision to practice Islam in an official letter to the city Mayor. Most recently, the politician filed a formal application to the mayor of the city to allow him to perform prayers obligatory for Muslims during his working hours. The information on conversion of van Doorn to Islam was confirmed on the official website of the mosque Al-Yaqeen in The Hague. "We wish brother Arnoud a good new life as a Muslim and a lot of strength with the acquisition of knowledge", the website says. After accepting Islam, van Doorn gave an exclusive interview to Qatari English-language TV channel Al Jazeera, the text of which he published on his Twitter page: Al Jazeera: What would you say to the people who are sceptic towards your conversion into the Islam? Van Doorn: I can understand that people are sceptic, especially since it is unexpected for many of them. In my own close circle people have known that I have been actively researching the Koran, Hadith, Sunnah and other writings for almost a year now. In addition, I have had numerous conversations with Muslims about the religion. This is a very big decision, which I have not taken lightly. Al Jazeera: How did you get in touch with the Islam? Van Doorn: I have heard many negative stories about the Islam, but I am not a person who follows opinions of others without doing my own research and forming my own opinion. Therefore, I have actually started to deepen my knowledge of the Islam out of curiosity. My colleague Aboe Khoulani from the City Council in The Hague has brought me further into contact with the as-Soennah mosque, which has guided me even further. There, I have been received very warmly and very positively. Al Jazeera: In hindsight, do you have regrets of joining the PVV (Freedom Party)? Van Doorn: I have learned that every experience in life has a purpose. However, with the knowledge I have today, I would have undoubtedly made a different choice. Al Jazeera: Which reactions have you received regarding your conversion? Van Doorn: According to some people I am a traitor, but according to most others I have actually made a very good decision. The reactions are generally positive though. And I also receive quite some support via twitter. It feels good that people who do not know me personally have understanding of my situation and support me in my choice. Al Jazeera: Is there anything else you would like to state? Van Doorn: I have made mistakes in life as many others. From these mistakes I have learned a lot. And by my conversion into the Islam I have the feeling that I finally found my path. I realize that this is a new start and that I still have much to learn as well. The expectation is that I will continue to face much resistance, also from certain government institutions. I have all faith in Allah to support me and to guide me through these moments. Department of Monitoring Kavkaz Center

This refers to the conditions and places in which it is proven to recite Durud, as well as those places and conditions that carry reward and virtue and will serve as a means of blessings and benefits in this world and in the Aakhirah. These places have been proven as discussed in great detail by Shams ud Deen Ibn Qayyim Jauziyyah in Jilaa ul Afhaam, Muhaddith Siddique Hasan Khan Bhopali in Nuzul ul Abraar min Al Ad'iyah wal Adhkaar and Shams ud Deen Sakhaawi in Al Qawl ul Badee fi as Salaat ala al Habeeb ash Shafee'. It is sufficient to recite Durud at these times and places, whether it be short or lengthy. After completing wudhoo. After performing Tayammum. After Ghusl, whether it be a Ghusl of Jnaabat or a Ghusl after Haydh and Nifaas. In Salaat (the final sitting). When writing a bequest. At the time of the nikah khutbah. At the start of the day, i.e. in the morning. At the end of the day, i.e. in the evening. At the time of sleeping. When travelling. When boarding the conveyance. Then leaving the marketplace. When invited for meals (when sitting at the food cloth). When entering the home. When beginning a letter or journal. After reciting tasmiyah. At the time of sorrow, grief, worry and calamity. When experiencing straitened conditions and poverty. At the time of need and want. When drowning. At the time of a plague, or when a fatal sickness spreads. At the beginning, in the middle and at the end of du'aa. When there is ringing in the ears. When the hands and feet become numb. When sneezing. When forgetting the place of something one has placed in a particular place. When eating radish. When a donkey brays. When repenting from a sin. When making Du'aa after Salaat ul Haajah. After tashahhud. After completing Salaah. When the Jama'ah gets ready for Salaah. After Fajr Salaah. After completing Maghrib Salaah. After Qunut. When waking for tahajjud Salaah. After completing tahajjud Salaah. When entering the Masjid. When leaving the Masjid. Alislam.co.za

Question: Recently I have noticed that my menstrual cycle has become longer than the normal 8 to 9 days which it lasted. Now, my regular cycle has moved from 9 days to 10 or 11 days. But according to the Hanafi rule, I must begin to pray on my 11th day. However, if I know that this is part of my cycle, can I not take a dispensation on the issue? Answer: Assalamu alaykum Menstruation is the monthly discharge of blood that lasts from three to ten days. Any blood released for less than three days or beyond ten days is not considered menstruation [Maraqi al-Falah]. The fact that you consider it menstrual blood is not legally relevant. Its exceeding ten days means that it can not be considered as such. Rather it will be considered abnormal uterine bleeding (istihada) so after the tenth day one must perform a ritual bath and start praying. In addition, as the bleeding has exceeded ten days one must rely on one’s previous menstrual period (‘aada) to ascertain how many days of the bleeding are to be considered menstruation. So for example if one’s last menstrual period was 9 days and then the next one was 11 days, one would perform a ghusl and start praying on the tenth day and one would make up one day of prayers as the menstruation will be seen to have ended on the 9th day and the tenth will be considered abnormal uterine bleeding (istihada). There is no difficulty or hardship in this. It is purely submission. Sohail Hanif http://spa.qibla.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=3031&CATE=132

by Shaykh Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh Call towards the path of your Rabb with wisdom and good admonition. (16:125) This is the order of Allāh ta‘ālā to every believer. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam spent his entire life calling towards the Path of Allāh ta‘ālā with the concern that every single human being should be saved from the fire of Jahannam and granted entry into Jannah. Out of this concern, he continuously instructed and taught people to do good and refrain from evil. As followers of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, we also need to adopt this concern for our Muslim brothers and sisters and our fellow human beings. We should ask ourselves: “How can I help others to follow the Straight Path, reach Allāh ta‘ālā, acquire entry into Jannah and secure refuge from the Fire of Jahannam?” Be a Mirror Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has said: A believer is a mirror for [another] believer. (Abū Dāwūd) When you stand in front of a mirror it shows your physical appearance. It reveals what is good about the way you look as well as any defects you may have. In this hadīth, Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam instructs every believer to be like a mirror for other believers. A number of important points can be derived from this hadīth: 1. If you witness another believer behaving incorrectly, you should inform him, for you are a mirror for him and a mirror points out the defects of the one who stands in front of it. However, a mirror reveals the faults very quietly, without bringing disgrace; you should do the same too. 2. A mirror does not only reveal physical defects but also physical beauty. Similarly, when advising a fellow believer, you should highlight his mistakes in the overall context of his good attributes, an approach that is more palatable to the one being advised and less likely to breed resentment. Take the example of someone who performs sajdah in a manner contrary to the Sunnah: inform him of his mistake after commending him on the correctness of the rest of his salāh. 3. Just as you are a mirror for other believers, every other believer is also a mirror for you. So every Muslim is simultaneously a mirror and a person standing in front of a mirror; an advisor and one who is advised. 4. If a mirror reveals a defect in your appearance, you may be upset but you will not feel resentment or anger towards the mirror. Similarly, when another Muslim adopts the role of a mirror and advises you of something you are doing wrong, you should not get offended. Why should we take offence when someone points out a shortcoming in us that, if left unattended would make us unsuccessful at the time of death, in the grave and on the Day of Qiyāmah? Instead, we should be happy. In fact, it is only those who have love and concern for us that will go to the trouble of informing us of our shortcomings. The Sharī‘ah commands us to point out the mistakes of a fellow brother in a polite manner, tactfully, with wisdom and concern. However, even if someone were to point out a fault impolitely, we should still not take offence and still be happy that he helped save us from harm in the hereafter. If we were walking along a path and about to fall into a hole and someone shouted in an impolite way for us to stop, we would thank him and be grateful and indebted to him for saving us, despite his manner. Shaykh Qārī Siddīq Bandwi rahimahullāh was a great scholar and a very pious saint. He treated me with a lot of love and affection and I had the privilege of accompanying him when he was here on his one and only visit to the UK, during the latter days of his life. In a talk in Walsall he said: “Assume you have two doors to your house, one at the front and one at the back, and you only ever use the front door. One day, your neighbour is in his garden when he notices a huge crack in the back wall of your house. He then knocks on your door and tells you about the structural damage to your house, and advises you to tend to it without delay. Will you feel happy he told you or unhappy? Will you feel indebted to him or not?” We all answered that we would be happy and indebted to him. The Shaykh continued: “If someone sees a structural problem in our spiritual and religious ‘building’, and says e.g. that ghībah is harām and will bring our spiritual structure down, why do we feel offended?” Concern for Self-Rectification Our mashāyikh have mentioned that while being concerned for the spiritual wellbeing of others, we should always be concerned about our self-rectification too. A person who is particular about his appearance will often be seen standing before a mirror. Those who are concerned about their spiritual rectification and purifying themselves from any religious mistakes will also be seen ‘standing before the mirror’ by asking their friends to point out any shortcomings and highlight any room for rectification they see. The fact is, at times we cannot see our own faults and it takes someone else to point them out to us. ‘Umar al-Fārūq radhiyallāhu ‘anhu had great concern for his self-rectification, despite his eminent status and despite having been given the glad tidings of Jannah by Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam on numerous occasions. A question he once asked Hudhayfah ibn Yamān radhiyallāhu ‘anhu reflects this concern. Hudhayfah radhiyallāhu ‘anhu was known as Sāhibu Sirri Rasūlillāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, i.e. one to whom Rasūlullāh confided certain information that no one else knew. One such piece of information was the names of those among the Muslims who were actually hypocrites. ‘Umar radhiyallāhu ‘anhu, concerned about his own standing in the eyes of Allāh ta‘ālā, once asked whether his own name was among the list of hypocrites, upon which Ḥudhayfah radhiyallāhu ‘anhu assured him it was not. Four Ways to Self-Rectification Our mashāyikh have explained that there are four ways through which a person can rectify himself: 1. The best way, is to find a shaykh. Hand yourself over to him and give him full liberty to carry out your spiritual rectification in the way he sees fit. Normally, complete rectification is not possible without the guidance of a shaykh. However, until you find a shaykh, adopt one of the following three methods (these methods are also beneficial for those who have a shaykh): 2. When you see someone doing something wrong, reflect immediately on your own life and question yourself whether you are free of that shortcoming or not. 3. Keep your ears open to what your enemies say about you. It is part of life that people have enemies, those who dislike them and talk about them. You should reflect on the faults they perceive in you, and if those faults truly exist, they should be rectified. 4. Tell your friends to act as mirrors and notify you of any faults they see in you. http://www.at-tazkiyah.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=162:live-like-a-mirror&catid=16&Itemid=106

Question Can we use Google and Youtube now? Answer In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. Google is a search engine that indexes web pages so that the user can search for and seek the information they desire through the use of keywords. YouTube is a video sharing website on which users can upload, view and share videos. The use of these websites is similar to the use of a car; they can be both beneficial and detrimental depending on what one uses them for. If a person navigates and goes to impermissible places (websites) and views impermissible and illicit material (pornography, music, movies, interaction with the opposite gender etc.) then using websites such as Google and YouTube will be impermissible. However if a person uses these websites for beneficial and educational purposes; to listen to Quran, read literature, listen to speeches etc. then using these websites will be permissible. If one fears that one will not be able to refrain from browsing impermissible content and material; even if the purpose of using the internet is permissible; he should refrain from browsing the internet altogether. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Saanwal ibn Muhammad, Student Darul Iftaa UK Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/24513

Q. If a woman has to use a vaginal inserting cream twice a day, does she need to take ghusl everytime she uses the cream? (Query published as received) A. Ghusl will not be necessary. If she is in the state of Wudhu, her Wudhu will break. If she is fasting, the fast will break by inserting the cream. And Allah Knows Best Mufti Suhail Tarmahomed Fatwa Department Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians

“Our lives are seasons to earn for the Hereafter; whatever profit we can make during this time cannot be made once our ‘season’ is over.” The first step to success is to make a firm resolution.

Teenage SuicideIs your child in danger? Of the many socials ills that society is facing, perhaps the most tragic is that of teenage suicide. A young life brimming with potential, a life treasured by parents and family snuffed out before its flame could burn brightly. What sight can be more horrific than of a parent walking into their child’s bedroom only to find him hanging from the rafters or with the bed linen soaked with blood from a slit wrist? The tragedy is that if the same person had to live just a few more years and be able to look back at his decision, then he would realise just how petty was the problem over which he took his own life. However there is no reversal. Causes: While the causes of suicide vary, it is generally a buildup of multiple causes which pushes a person beyond sane thought and action. Some of these include: Major Disappointment Suffering a major disappointment such as rejection, loss of a boyfriend or girlfriend or failure at school or in sports may trigger suicidal tendencies in teenagers. Though some of these actions are Haraam, they are unfortunately prevalent in the lives of many of our teenagers. Stress Stress, confusion, pressure and worries about self-worth are common problems in many teenagers. Teenagers may have to go through parental divorce, moving in with a new family, living in a new location or going to a different school. In some cases, teenagers may be victims of physical or sexual abuse. These unsettling matters intensify feelings such as distress, anxiety or agitation. Depression Depression is another major cause of suicide. This mental disorder can cause feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. Approximately 75 percent of people who commit suicide suffer from depression, according to the Harris County Psychiatric Center at the University of Texas. Substance Abuse Drug or alcohol abuse can lead to impulsive behavior, especially if a teenager is haunted by other problems such as a mental disorder or family difficulties. Like adults who turn to alcohol or drugs, teenagers may believe that substance abuse will bring them relief from their difficulties, but it only worsens the problems. Substance abuse and mental disorders play prominent roles in a majority of suicides. Added to this, adolescence is generally a vulnerable time in a person’s life. No matter how small or big their problems, their troubles may feel to be unbearable or overwhelming. Couple this with a lack of parental support and we have a recipe for terrible disaster. According to a study, more than 90% of teenagers who attempted suicide said that little or no parental care and understanding led them to take this extreme step. Suicide warning signs § Talking or joking about committing suicide § Saying things like, “I’d be better off dead,” “I wish I could disappear forever,” or “There’s no way out.” § Speaking positively about death or romanticizing dying (“If I died, people might love me more”) § Writing stories and poems about death, dying, or suicide § Engaging in reckless and dangerous behavior § Giving away prized possessions § Saying goodbye to friends and family as if for the last time What can you do? Parents taking time out to be there for their kids is the first step in the right direction. As Yawar Baig succinctly points out: “Today in the Yuppie and Puppy cultures the idea of bringing up children is to feed them, ensure that they are washed and dried and entertained. This thinking is the root of all evil. Food, a dry bed and toys is what your dog needs, not your child.” Don’t be selfish with your time or the time will come when you will want to engage with your kids, but they will want nothing to do with you Speak up if you’re worried If you notice concerning behaviour from your child, you must speak up. Very often your child will not want to discuss his or her problems especially if there was a former communication barrier. Breaking the ice and opening lines of communication can be a daunting task. Forcing the issue will not help. You will have to be gentle yet persistent in your approach. When they do open up, take time to listen to their issues. Do not interrupt or trivialise their issues. Issues small to you maybe mountains to them. Be sympathetic, caring and helpful. You may take it for granted but at times, all that your child needs is to know that someone cares Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians 223 Alpine Road, Overport, Durban

Jazaakillah sis...I must make time for this inshaAllah

Subject: ISRAELI MOTHER ADDRESSES THE EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT Touching speech, please share. Israeli mother Addresses European Parliament. Dear Friends, Dr. Nurit Peled-Elhanan is the mother of Smadar Elhanan, 13 years old when killed by a suicide bomber in Jerusalem in September 1997. Below is Nurit's speech made on International Women's Day in Strasbourg earlier this month. Please listen to the words of a bereaved mother, whose daughter fell victim to a vicious, indiscriminating terrorist attack. I wish her words will enter the hearts of all peace seekers in our troubled and divided world. For better days, Professor Avraham Oz Department of Hebrew and Comparative Literature University of Haifa WOMEN by Nurit Peled-Elhanan Thank you for inviting me to this today. It is always an honour and a pleasure to be here, among you (at the European Parliament). However, I must admit I believe you should have invited a Palestinian woman at my stead, because the women who suffer most from violence in my county are the Palestinian women. And I would like to dedicate my speech to Miriam R`aban and her husband Kamal, from Bet Lahiya in the Gaza strip, whose five small children were killed by Israeli soldiers while picking strawberries at the family`s strawberry field. No one will ever stand trial for this murder. When I asked the people who invited me here why didn't they invite a Palestinian woman, the answer was that it would make the discussion too localized. I don't know what is non-localized violence. Racism and discrimination may be theoretical concepts and universal phenomena but their impact is always local, and real. Pain is local, humiliation, sexual abuse, torture and death, are all very local, and so are the scars. It is true, unfortunately, that the local violence inflicted on Palestinian women by the government of Israel and the Israeli army, has expanded around the globe, In fact, state violence and army violence, individual and collective violence, are the lot of Muslim women today, not only in Palestine but wherever the enlightened western world is setting its big imperialistic foot. It is violence which is hardly ever addressed and which is halfheartedly condoned by most people in Europe and in the USA . This is because the so-called free world is afraid of the Muslim womb. Great France of "la liberte égalite et la fraternite" is scared of little girls with head scarves. Great Jewish Israel is afraid of the Muslim womb which its ministers call a demographic threat. Almighty America and Great Britain are infecting their respective citizens with blind fear of the Muslims, who are depicted as vile, primitive and blood-thirsty, apart from their being non-democratic, chauvinistic and mass producers of future terrorists. This in spite of the fact that the people who are destroying the world today are not Muslim. One of them is a devout Christian, one is Anglican and one is a non-devout Jew. I have never experienced the suffering Palestinian women undergo every day, every hour, I don't know the kind of violence that turns a woman's life into constant hell. This daily physical and mental torture of women who are deprived of their basic human rights and needs of privacy and dignity, women whose homes are broken into at any moment of day and night, who are ordered at a gun-point to strip naked in front of strangers and their own children, whose houses are demolished , who are deprived of their livelihood and of any normal family life. This is not part of my personal ordeal. But I am a victim of violence against women insofar as violence against children is actually violence against mothers. Palestinian, Iraqi, Afghan women are my sisters because we are all at the grip of the same unscrupulous criminals who call themselves leaders of the free enlightened world and in the name of this freedom and enlightenment rob us of our children. Furthermore, Israeli, American, Italian and British mothers have been for the most part violently blinded and brainwashed to such a degree that they cannot realize their only sisters, their only allies in the world are the Muslim Palestinian, Iraqi or Afghani mothers, whose children are killed by our children or who blow themselves to pieces with our sons and daughters. They are all mind-infected by the same viruses engendered by politicians. And the viruses , though they may have various illustrious names--such as Democracy, Patriotism, God, Homeland--are all the same. They are all part of false and fake ideologies that are meant to enrich the rich and to empower the powerful. We are all the victims of mental, psychological and cultural violence that turn us to one homogenic group of bereaved or potentially bereaved mothers. Western mothers who are taught to believe their uterus is a national asset just like they are taught to believe that the Muslim uterus is an international threat. They are educated not to cry out: `I gave him birth, I breast fed him, he is mine, and I will not let him be the one whose life is cheaper than oil, whose future is less worth than a piece of land.` All of us are terrorized by mind-infecting education to believe all we can do is either pray for our sons to come back home or be proud of their dead bodies. And all of us were brought up to bear all this silently, to contain our fear and frustration, to take Prozac for anxiety, but never hail Mama Courage in public. Never be real Jewish or Italian or Irish mothers. I am a victim of state violence. My natural and civil rights as a mother have been violated and are violated because I have to fear the day my son would reach his 18th birthday and be taken away from me to be the game tool of criminals such as Sharon, Bush, Blair and their clan of blood-thirsty, oil-thirsty, land thirsty generals.. Living in the world I live in, in the state I live in, in the regime I live in, I don't dare to offer Muslim women any ideas how to change their lives. I don't want them to take off their scarves, or educate their children differently, and I will not urge them to constitute Democracies in the image of Western democracies that despise them and their kind. I just want to ask them humbly to be my sisters, to express my admiration for their perseverance and for their courage to carry on, to have children and to maintain a dignified family life in spite of the impossible conditions my world in putting them in. I want to tell them we are all bonded by the same pain, we all the victims of the same sort of violence even though they suffer much more, for they are the ones who are mistreated by my government and its army, sponsored by my taxes. Islam in itself, like Judaism in itself and Christianity in itself, is not a threat to me or to anyone. American imperialism is, European indifference and co-operation is and Israeli racism and its cruel regime of occupation is. It is racism, educational propaganda and inculcated xenophobia that convince Israeli soldiers to order Palestinian women at gun-point, to strip in front of their children for security reasons, it is the deepest disrespect for the other that allow American soldiers to rape Iraqi women, that give license to Israeli jailers to keep young women in inhuman conditions, without necessary hygienic aids, without electricity in the winter, without clean water or clean mattresses and to separate them from their breast-fed babies and toddlers. To bar their way to hospitals, to block their way to education, to confiscate their lands, to uproot their trees and prevent them from cultivating their fields. I cannot completely understand Palestinian women or their suffering. I don't know how I would have survived such humiliation, such disrespect from the whole world. All I know is that the voice of mothers has been suffocated for too long in this war-stricken planet. Mothers` cry is not heard because mothers are not invited to international forums such as this one. This I know and it is very little. But it is enough for me to remember these women are my sisters, and that they deserve that I should cry for them, and fight for them. And when they lose their children in strawberry fields or on filthy roads by the checkpoints, when their children are shot on their way to school by Israeli children who were educated to believe that love and compassion are race and religion dependent, the only thing I can do is stand by them and their betrayed babies, and ask what Anna Akhmatova--another mother who lived in a regime of violence against women and children--asked: Why does that streak o blood, rip the petal of your cheek?

Nobel Peace Prize winner “Tawakkul Karman,” ‘The mother of Yemen’s revolution,’ when asked about her Hijab by journalists and how it is not proportionate with her level of intellect and education, replied: “Man in early times was almost naked, and as his intellect evolved he started wearing clothes. What I am today and what I’m wearing represents the highest level of thought and civilization that man has achieved, and is not regressive. It’s the removal of clothes again that is a regression back to the ancient times.”

Question: I recently married and my husband has on several occasions had intercourse with me during my menses. Despite my refusal he still would not listen, due to which I am greatly distressed. I am also greatly concerned about the future because I am sure he would do the same. I would like to ask you, that if he attempts to do so again, do I have the right to forcefully stop him or not? Will I be sinful for not doing so? Answer From: Hazrat Moulana Mufti Nazeer Ahmed Qasmi – Head Mufti, Darul Uloom Rahimiya, Bandipora, Kashmir: In the state of menstruation, it is permissible for the husband and wife to lay together, kissing and caressing is also allowed. However, to fulfil ones desires to the extent of having intercourse is strictly prohibited. It is also mentioned in the Holy Qur’an: “O Muhammed, they ask you concerning menstruation. Say: it is an impurity, so keep away from women in their menstruation and do not approach them till they are purified.” (Surah Baqarah) In a Hadith, the Prophet has mentioned: “That person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating or that person who has intercourse in the unnatural place (anus) or that person who goes to a fortune teller, he has refuted that religion which has been revealed to me.” (Tirmizhi) Therefore in light of the Qur’an and Hadith, to have intercourse during menstruation in not only strictly prohibited, but a major sin. It has been mentioned in another Hadith: “That person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating should give half a dinar in charity.” (Tirmizhi) In our terms fifty pence or something to its value. Furthermore, intercourse during menstruation for both man and woman results in many severe illnesses. This fact has been acknowledged by doctors past and present. If the Husband in an uncontrollable desire forces his wife to have intercourse even though she is menstruating, it is obligatory for her to refuse. If she does not do so, she will also be sinful. If the woman refuses despite the insistence of her husband, she will not be sinful, rather she will be rewarded for abstaining from sin and causing her husband to do so too. From those sins which Islam has classified as ‘major’, one of them is having sexual relations in the state of menstruation. If the husband due to his overriding passions finds it difficult to control himself then during the days of menstruation, separate sleeping arrangements should be made. Furthermore, both parties should continue to repent for this sin thus far. Inter-Islam

Of all the A’maal (actions) in Islam, Salah requires our first and foremost attention and care. The Prophet (Allah bless him and grant him peace) stated, “The first thing one will be held accountable for on the Day of Judgment is Salah (prayer).” (Sunan Abu Dawud, al Nasa’i: Kitab al Salah Bab al Muhasabati `ala al Salat #469-471; Al Hakim also narrated it and said it is sahih) In another Hadith it is mentioned, “On the Day of Judgement, the very first question that will be asked to man out of his deeds will be about Salah; if his Salah is correct he will succeed but if it is incomplete, he will be disgraced and will suffer loss.- Tabarani Depending upon the inner and outer quality of Salah, the worshipers have different grades. Shaykh Abul Hasan Ali Nadwi (RA) writes: “There is nothing dry or mechanical about Salah. It is not a soulless ritual, frozen into rigidity, in which there is no scope for development and everyone is compelled to stay at the same level. On the contrary, its field is very vast in which the devotee is carried forward from state to state, from advancement to perfection and from perfection to heights that are beyond the imagination of man. In it, the position of one is different from that of the other. The grade varies from person to person. A Salah performed with negligence and ignorance cannot be treated as equal to that of attention and awareness. In the same way, the Salah of the general body of Muslims cannot match the Salah of the enlightened men of God in virtue and excellence. It is also not necessary that a devotee always maintains the same standard and the Salah he offered today was identical in quality to what he had offered up yesterday or a few months or years earlier. Thus, we find that two categories of Salah are mentioned in the Quran, praiseworthy and blameworthy. Of the later type of Salah it says: “Ah, woe unto worshippers who are heedless of their prayer, (and) who are hypocrites and refuse even small kindnesses.” (Surah Al-Ma’oon- cvii: 4-7) And, of the former: “Successful indeed are the believers who are humble in their prayers.” (Surah Al-Muminoon- xxiii: 1-2) The Holy Prophet (SAWS), also, has spoken of two kinds of Salah, one of reverence, sincerity and humbleness and the other of negligence, hurry and carelessness. Concerning the Salah of the first category Uthman bin Affan [RA] relates that “He [the Prophet SAWS] performed the Wudhu, and performed it well, and then, he remarked, he who performs the Wudhu like me and performs two Rakahs of Salah in such a way that he thinks of nothing else during it, all his previous sins will be forgiven”. –Bukhari and Muslim It is related by Hazrat Uqba bin Aamir (RA) that the Prophet (SAWS) once said, “Paradise becomes the right of a Muslim who performs the Wudhu properly and then stands up and offers two Rakahs of Salah and remains attentive in it both with his face and his heart”. -Muslim About the Salah of the other kind, it is related by Ammar bin Yasir (RA) that once he heard the Prophet (SAWS) saying, “A person completes his Salah and yet only one‐tenth, and sometimes, one‐ninth, one‐eighth, one‐seventh, one‐sixth, one‐fifth, one‐fourth, one‐third or one‐half of it comes to his lot.”- Abu Dawood and Nisai. It is, again, related that the Prophet once said, “The worst of men is he who steals his Salah”. The Holy Companions, thereupon asked, “O Prophet of God! How can a person steal his own Salahs?” The Prophet replied, “He neither performs the Wudhu properly nor the Sajda”. - Muslim It is related by Hazrat Anas (RA) that the Prophet (SAWS), once said, “He is a hypocrite who keeps on looking at the sun till it turns pale and comes between the two horns of the Devil and then gets up and hurriedly offers up four Rakahs of Salah like a hen pecking at the grain in which the remembrance of God is only nominal.”- Nisai In Salah the grades of the devotees are different. The Salah of one devotee cannot be judged by the Salah of the other. The Salah of the sacred Prophet (SAWS) was of the highest order, higher, superior and more perfect than that of any one, and it also held the greatest weight in the Scales of God. Closest to his Salah was the Salah of Hadhrat Abu Bakr (RA). It was for this reason that Hadhrat Abu Bakr (RA) was commanded by the holy Prophet (SAWS), during his last illness, to lead the prayer‐service in his place though Hadhrat Ayesha (RA) had suggested the name of Hadhrat Omar (RA). But the Prophet insisted on it and, so, it was done. [bukhari] Salah is an indicator of one’s level in the Deen: Further, there is no better measuring‐yard of one’s place and position in Islam than Salah. The quality of person’s prayers tells more about his inner state than any other thing. Thus, all the outstanding personalities of Islam, whose names are still cherished in history, have attained that lofty position and immortality by paying the greatest attention to Salah and carrying it to the highest stage of perfection which, in the Islamic parlance, is referred to as Ihsan.”

Question: I had an argument with my husband and he kicked me in my lower abdomen. This has happened several times before as well. Now my husband is saying that I provoked him to hit me and I deserved that. Now I want a divorce but I am thinking about my kids. I don’t want to be hit anymore and I know he will do such a thing again as he has a very short temper. Please tell me what to do in this situation. Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. We read your account of events and understand the following: You had an argument with your husband and your husband physically abused you. This is not the first time you have experienced this. You are considering divorce but are unsure due to your children. Allah the Almighty ordained marriage to be a source of peace and tranquility amongst mankind. Marriage is supposed to induce the greatest amount of understanding, harmony and love between two strangers. Allah the Almighty describes the husband and wife as a garment for one another: هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَكُمْ وَأَنْتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَهُنَّ “Your wives are garments for you and you are garments for your wives.” Garments are multi-purpose They cover the body, provide warmth in the summer and keep the body cool in the winter. Likewise, they are a source of beauty and chastity. If one does not look after his garments, he does not iron them and wash the stains, the garments will no longer serve the purpose of beauty, protection and warmth. Likewise, in a marriage, each partner must tend to the needs of their spouse. The husband and wife must constantly tend to the needs of their spouse in order to keep everything tidy. Being abusive towards a partner is totally prohibited and condemned by Shari’ah. Injustice towards any human being is a major sin. The beloved wife of the Prophet (salutations and peace be upon him) Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), testified that the Prophet never abused or hit his wife or servant.[ii] The first step to solve all our problems is turning to Allah the Almighty sincerely. Make constant dua to Allah; He is there to respond to you. Consider the following verse: وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ (186) And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me – indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.[iii] Do you not see how Allah changes a barren land into a rich green flourishing plain? Have you not read how Allah Ta’ala changed the conditions for the Prophet (Salutations and peace be upon him)? There was a time when his own tribe wanted to end his life. He was banished from his home town. A time came when all submitted to him and cherished his presence. How many a time has Allah Ta’ala cured people who were thought to be in the jaws of death? Allah can change the heart and condition of people instantly. Nothing is difficult for Allah Ta’ala. Sincerely turn to Allah in supplication and try your utmost not to displease Him. After every salah, supplicate to Allah, this is the time when dua is readily accepted. In addition to making dua, speak to your spouse when he is not in a hurry or under stress. Open up and reveal to him your feelings. Make him remember the love you both experienced in the first couple of months of your marriage. Tell him and show him what he means to you. If speaking to your husband is not possible, consider seeking the assistance of neutral family members. Allah Ta’ala instructs us in such situations to appoint two arbitrators: “And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things].”[iv] Consider the following texts. You were rewarded by Allah the Almighty for everything you endured: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: من يرد الله به خيراً يصب منه The Messenger of Allah (salallahu ῾alayhi wasallam) said, “When Allah desires good for someone, He afflicts him.”[v] عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ما يصيب المسلم من نصب ولا وصبٍ ولا همٍ ولا حزنٍ ولا أذىً ولا غمٍ، حتى الشوكة يشاكها إلا كفر الله بها من خطاياه. The Prophet (salallahu ῾alayhi wasallam) said, “No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his mistakes by it.”[vi] قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: ما يزال البلاء بالمؤمن والمؤمنة في نفسه وولده وماله حتى يلقى الله تعالى وما عليه خطيئةٌ The Messenger of Allah(salallahu ῾alayhi wasallam) said, “Believers, both men and women, will continue to be afflicted in respect of themselves, their children and their property until they meet Allah without any wrong actions at all.”[vii] وقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: إن عظم الجزاء مع عظم البلاء، وإن الله تعالى إذا أحب قوماً ابتلاهم، فمن رضي فله الرضا، ومن سخط فله السخط رواه الترمذي وقال: حديثٌ حسنٌ. The Prophet (salallahu ῾alayhi wasallam) said, “The greatest reward goes together with the greatest affliction. When Allah Almighty loves people, He tests them. All who are content receive His good pleasure. Those who are angry receive His anger.” [viii] قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: عجباً لأمر المؤمن إن أمره كله له خيرٌ، وليس ذلك لأحدٍ إلا للمؤمن: إن أصابته سراء شكر فكان خيراً له، وإن أصابته ضراء صبر فكان خيراً له The Messenger of Allah (salallahu ῾alayhi wasallam) said, ‘What an extraordinary thing the business of the believer is! All of it is good for him. And that only applies to the believer. If good fortune is his lot, he is grateful and it is good for him. If something harmful happens to him, he is steadfast and that is good for him too.’” [ix] We recommend you make it a practice to read the book called ‘Don’t be sad’ by ‘Aa’idh al-Qarni. The book is available in many languages and easily available. Try and read an Islamic book with your husband and children daily. Fix a time in the day, even if it is 5 minutes. A famous work to read together is ‘Fazaa’il al-A’maal’. It will be the means of Islam flourishing in your home and that will bring about love and harmony in your four walls. Your husband needs counselling and possibly he may need to visit a psychiatrist. Anger is something which needs to be tamed just like animals. Anger management courses are easily available and should be benefitted from by your husband. One has to acknowledge his illness before any illness can be cured. It would be a wise idea to purchase books written on anger and such negative traits. Place these books around the house so that they can catch the eye of your husband. Another positive avenue for your husband is the company of the pious. He needs spiritual rectification. Encourage him to attend such gatherings. If you cannot encourage him, then purchase a receiver and listen to the lectures and programs of the masjid. Alternatively, listen to the spiritual rectification gatherings streamed online of the pious and god-fearing ulamā (scholars). The broadcasting words will definitely penetrate his ears. We make sincere dua to Allah the Almighty He grants you ease and happiness. Aameen. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Mufti Faraz al-Mahmudi Darul Iftaa Dublin, Ireland http://darulfiqh.com/what-do-i-do-with-my-abusive-husband/