ummtaalib

Oops! Its only a dog! True Incident: The incident took place in South Asia. A man was offering salah in his house. He was praying as fast as he could as many of us do. All of a sudden, he heard the door behind him open. Since, someone entered the room, he started making his ruku and sujud longer. Upon completion of the salah, he looked back to see who it was. To his amazement, it was a dog!

Just too many Muslims Everywhere! Two men were on a plane on a business trip when a Muslim couple boarded the plane and were seated right in front of them. The two men, eager to have some fun, started talking loudly. "My boss is sending me to Saudi Arabia", the one said, "But I don't want to go...too many Muslims there!" The Muslim couple noticeably heard and grew uncomfortable. The other guy laughed, "Oh, yeah, my boss wanted to send me to Pakistan but I refused...WAY too many Muslims!" Smiling, the first man said, "One time I was in Iran but I HATED the fact that there were so many Muslims!" The couple fidgeted. The other guy responded, "Oh, yeah...you can't go ANYWHERE to get away from them...the last time I was in FRANCE I ran into a bunch of them too!" The first guy was laughing hysterically as he added, "That is why you'll never see me in Indonesia...WAY too many Muslims!" At this, the Muslim man turned around and responded politely, "Why don't you go to Hell?", he asked, "I hear there's not very many Muslims THERE!"

Smart Student PUPIL – “Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?” TEACHER – “Of course not.” PUPIL – “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.”

Points to assist a Declining Marriage The Hadith questions the manhood of a person who beats his wife up during the day and derives pleasure from her during the night. Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these basic principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. Amidst busy schedules and tasks on the parts of both women and men, Muslim husbands and wives tend to forget the real reasons behind marriage and likewise the rights of each other. Subsequently, they deprive themselves, their mates and their children of the happiness and tranquillity that is the bedrock of a successful family. This unbalanced vision towards a couple’s ideal relationship is bad enough to plunge the family into a situation laden with troubles and worries. Negative Relationship between Husband & Wife Some Muslim spouses relate to each other like adversaries rather than life time partners. The husband assumes the position of dictator, and whatever he says is not law. The wife on the other hand feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives do not express their gratitude to their husbands irrespective of how much the man may do for her. Instead they adopt an attitude of ‘never enough’ and make the husband feel like a failure if he does not provide every want and desire their extravagant lifestyles dictate. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in family matters. Moreover certain husbands become so cold and miserly that even the basic expenditure for the house is difficult to come by. Nikah - A divine institution The Nikah bond has been divinely established for the welfare and upkeep of a healthy and progressive community. This divine prescription has been unjustly utilised as a vehicle to perpetrate oppression, deception, humiliation, and abuse. Allah Ta’ala describes marriage very differently in the Noble Quran: ‘And from his signs are, He created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may live in tranquillity with them, and instilled love and mercy between your (hearts) . . . “(30:21) Head of the Home The position Islam has accorded to the man as the head of the home is a responsibility which will be accounted for, rather than a privilege which should be abused. We are taught to treat our wives well. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has reported to have said: ‘The person possessing the most perfect faith is one who has excellent behaviour, and the best among you are those who are best towards their wives" (Mishkat) Be Partners in Decision Making Follow the principle of ‘Shura," (consultation) and make decisions as a family. Implementing this Sunnah within the home increases harmony and love between family members. It will also assist in enhancing trust and loyalty between spouses and the children. Abuse Abstain totally from every form of emotional, mental, or physical abuse to your spouse. Watch Your Words Be very careful what you say when you are upset. The wounds afflicted to the heart of a person by words will never heal and remain a lifelong memory. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. Apply the directives found in the Hadith for suppression of anger. Work Together in the House Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) consistently assisted his wives with household chores. When Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) did not consider the housework trivial, how can we today obligate our wives to all the house work and much more? Communication is Important Talk to each other, communicate, have a dialogue, but do it respectfully. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until they explode. Live Simply Do not envy or cast your gaze towards those spouses who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. Be pleased with what you have. The grass will always look greener on the other side. The wealthiest person is the one who has attained contentment of heart. To develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Repeatedly thank Allah Ta’ala for the many blessings in your life. Admit Your Mistakes When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never sleep angry with each other. Past Problems Everything that has happened is history. Repent for the past and live for the future. Do not focus discussion on the past unless it is something that will make both of you laugh. The Duaa for a blissful marriage: "Allahumma rabana hab lana min azwaajinaa wa zurriyyatina qurrata a-ayun waj-alna lil muttaqeena imaama" (O Allah! grant us such wives and offspring who will be a source of coolness for our eyes, and make us leaders of the Allah-Fearing) Islaaminfo

AishaZaynap, sorry but I had to delete the other two posts because of the faces though the messages were very good....and I also uploaded the picture so it does not disappear....and i wonder why your posts needed approving, inshaAllah will get it checked

Split from inspiring stories and moved to Muslimah section

A Lesson of Faith Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem This is a true story: In France, after picking groceries in the supermarket, a Niqabi sister stood in the line to pay. After a few minutes, her turn came up at the checkout counter. The checkout girl was a non-Hijaabi Muslim girl, who began to scan the items of the Niqabi sister, one by one. After a while, she looked at her with arrogance and said: “We have many problems in this country and your Niqab (Face-veil) is one of them! We, immigrants, are here for trade and not to show our Deen or history! If you want to practice your Deen and wear Niqaab, then go back to your Arab country and do whatever you want!" The chaste Niqabi sister stopped putting her groceries in the bag and lifted up her Niqaab… The checkout girl was in total shock. The Niqabi girl, who was blonde with blue eyes, told her: "I am French, from pure French descent, not an Arab immigrant. This is my country and THIS IS MY ISLAM. You born Muslims sold your Deen and we bought it from you!" ________________________ Allah Ta’ala says: “…AND IF YOU TURN AWAY, HE WILL REPLACE YOU WITH ANOTHER PEOPLE; THEN THEY WILL NOT BE THE LIKES OF YOU.” [sURAH MUHAMMAD 47 : 38] gemsofguidance

Remember them in your Duas And for our brothers and sisters suffering in And anywhere else in the world. gemsofguidance

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To completely trust in Allah is to be like a child who knows deeply That even if he does not call for the mother The mother is totally aware of his condition And is looking after him ~ Al Ghazali~

Nourish your patience with worship, and nourish your certainty with your connection to Allah and nourish your sincerity with pure dedication and reliance upon Allah. idealwoman.org

Question: I neglect all good actions when I’m faced with difficulties in life. How should I improve in becoming a good Muslim? Answer: In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. We are pleased to hear that you have made an intention of changing into a better Muslim. You state that you are unable to maintain consistency in offering your daily Salahs etc. Firstly, you should ask yourself why you are unable to maintain consistency in offering your daily Salahs or any other act of virtue. Good deeds are a form of light while sins are a form of darkness. When a person commits sins and is engaged in the disobedience of Allah, her heart becomes hard. When the heart becomes hard, it is unable to accept anything which is good. Hence, a person finds it difficult to perform virtuous acts. However, when a person makes Taubah and sincerely repents to Allah, her heart is purified and soft again. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam has mentioned: «إِنَّ العَبْدَ إِذَا أَخْطَأَ خَطِيئَةً نُكِتَتْ فِي قَلْبِهِ نُكْتَةٌ سَوْدَاءُ، فَإِذَا هُوَ نَزَعَ وَاسْتَغْفَرَ وَتَابَ سُقِلَ قَلْبُهُ، وَإِنْ عَادَ زِيدَ فِيهَا حَتَّى تَعْلُوَ قَلْبَهُ، وَهُوَ الرَّانُ الَّذِي ذَكَرَ اللَّهُ» (كَلَّا بَلْ رَانَ عَلَى قُلُوبِهِمْ مَا كَانُوا يَكْسِبُونَ) (القرآن 81: 14) “When a person commits a sin, a black dot appears on his heart. When he seeks forgiveness and repents, his heart is then purified. If he returns to the sin (without repenting), more black dots appear encompassing the entire heart. This is the same rust regarding which Allah mentions (in the Quran). (By no means! but on their hearts is the rust of the (ill) which they do!)” (Al-Quran: 81:14)[1] Secondly, when a person lacks Iman and Yaqeen that every good and evil is from Allah, then such a person is quickly disappointed when she is afflicted with difficulties in life. A believer is always happy in every situation Allah keeps her. She is content with the decisions of Allah. She thinks to herself that Allah has protected me from a greater calamity by afflicting me with a smaller calamity. For example, when one incurs loss in her wealth, one should ponder over the matter and think to herself that Allah has protected her from a greater loss such as the loss of limbs. One should acknowledge that in every calamity there is Khair for her. One should not be carried away by the whispers of Shaitan by becoming disappointed with the decree of Allah. One should thank Allah immensely for all the bounties He has bestowed upon her. One should thank Allah for all of her limbs which function properly. There are many people in the world who are disabled and in need of help. One should thank Allah that He did not place her in the same situation as them. All of these thoughts should bring one back to her conscious mind to abstain from disobeying Allah. Here under are some points to consider and practice upon in becoming a successful Muslim: Farāid: Fulfill all those Ibādah which are obligatory: a) Perform the five daily Salāhs b) Fast in the month of Ramadan c) Perform Hajj (if it has become Wajib upon her) d) Give Zakāh (if it has become Wajib upon her) Each one of these obligation should be fulfilled with due diligence. Zikr: Constantly engage in the zikr (remembrance) of Allah. Frequently remembering Allah will help you to abstain from sins. Allah mentions in the Quran regarding zikr: وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ (القرآن :29: 45) “And verily the remembrance of Allah is greater” (Al-Quran: 29:45) Another Ayah states: يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ ذِكْرًا كَثِيرًا () وَسَبِّحُوهُ بُكْرَةً وَأَصِيلًا (القرآن :33: 41، 42) “O you who believe, remember Allah more often. And exalt Him morning and evening.” (Al-Quran: 33: 41-42) Allah says in another Ayah: يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تُلْهِكُمْ أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَلَا أَوْلَادُكُمْ عَنْ ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ وَمَنْ يَفْعَلْ ذَلِكَ فَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْخَاسِرُونَ )القرآن :63: 9( “O you who believe, let not your wealth and your children divert you from remembrance of Allah. And whosoever does that – then those are the losers.” (Al-Quran: 63: 9) Recitation of the Holy Quran: Recite some portion of the Quran daily. The Quran is the Kalām (speech of Allah). When a person speaks to her beloved, her soul feels enriched. When reciting the Quran, you are talking to Allah and you will feel spiritually enriched. Try and attend the Tafsīr classes of reliable Ulama. You should also read the English Tafsir of Maariful Quran written by Hazrat Mufti Muhammad Shafi Sahab (Rahmatullahi Alaih). Rights of People: Shariah has emphasized on the rights of other people. Always be sensitive to the next person’s feelings and emotions. You should try to help and assist others. If you cannot do that, then at least you should not harm anyone. It is very important to abstain from backbiting, slander and false accusation. Once the people asked the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam: قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، أَيُّ الإِسْلاَمِ أَفْضَلُ؟ قَالَ: «مَنْ سَلِمَ المُسْلِمُونَ مِنْ لِسَانِهِ، وَيَدِهِ» “Which type of Islam is the most virtuest?” He replied, “In which the Muslims are safe from his tongue and his hand.” [2] In one Hadith, it has been mentioned that a person should love and wish for his Muslim brother what he loves and wishes for himself. لاَ يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ، حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ “None of you can attain the level of Iman unless you love for your brother what you love for [3]yourself.” Another Hadith mentiones: إِنَّ شَرَّ النَّاسِ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ مَنْزِلَةً يَوْمَ القِيَامَةِ مَنْ تَرَكَهُ النَّاسُ اتِّقَاءَ شَرِّه “The worst of people in the eyes of Allah on the Day of Judgment is he from whom others keep their distances in order to save themselves from his mischief.”[4] Regarding backbiting, the Hadith considers it worse than committing adultery. Rasullullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam has said: إِيَّاكُمْ وَالْغَيْبَةَ؛ فَإِنَّ الْغَيْبَةَ أَشَدُّ مِنَ الزِّنَا» . قِيلَ: يا رسول الله! وكيف الْغَيْبَةُ أَشَدُّ مِنَ الزِّنَا؟ قَالَ: «الرَّجُلُ يَزْنِي فَيَتُوبُ، فَيَتُوبُ اللهُ عَلَيْهِ، وَإِنَّ صَاحِبَ الْغَيْبَةِ لا يُغْفَرُ لَهُ حَتَّى يَغْفِرَ لَهُ صَاحِبُهُ “Abstain from backbiting. Verily backbiting is worse than committing adultery.” He was asked, “O Prophet of Allah, how is backbiting worse than committing adultery?” He replied, “A person fornicates and repents and Allah forgives him. And a person who backbites is not forgiven unless the person whom he backbited does not forgive him.” [5] Love for Rasullullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam: The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam has said that a person can never be a true Muslim until the Prophet of Allah is more dear to him than anything in this world. لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى أَكُونَ أَحَبَّ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ وَلَدِهِ، وَوَالِدِهِ، وَالنَّاسِ أَجْمَعِينَ “None of you can attain the level of Iman unless I am more dear to him than his son and his parents and all of mankind.” [6] Obtain literature on the Seerah (biography) of Rasullullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam and educate yourself with the great life of Rasullullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam. Learn the Sunnāhs and try implementing them in your life. The best and the most convenient way of implementing the Sunnāhs in one’s life is to add at least one Sunnāh every day in one’s life. Some of the books on the Seerāh of Rasullullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam are: Tāreekh-e-Islam by Moulana Akbar Shah Najeeb Abadi (Urdu). Tareekh-e-Millat by Mufti Zain-ul-abideen Sajjad Meerathi (Urdu). The Sealed Nectar by Saifur Rahman Al-Mubarakpuri (English). This book is originally known as “Ar-Raheeq Al-Makhtoom” in Arabic. Join the Company of the Pious: In order to rectify oneself, join the company of the pious people. The company of such people will change a person’s behavior. The Hadith mentions: الْجَلِيسُ الصَّالِحُ خَيْرٌ مِنَ الْوَحْدَةِ، وَالْوَحْدَةُ خَيْرٌ مِنْ جَلِيسِ السُّوءِ، أَلَا إِنَّ مَثَلَ جَلِيسِ الْخَيْرِ كَمَثَلِ الْعِطْرِ إِلَّا يُحْذِكَ يَعْبَقْ بِكَ مِنْ رِيحِهِ، أَلَا وَإِنَّ مَثَلَ جَلِيسِ السُّوءِ كَمَثَلِ الْكِيرِ إِلَّا يَحْرُقْكَ يَعْبَقْ بِكَ مِنْ رِيحِهِ… “The company of the pious is better than solitude. And solitude is better than the company of the wicked. Verily the example of the company of the pious is like that of a musk from which fragrance emits. And verily the example of the company of the wicked is like the works of the bellows from which he either burns you or a bad smell emits…” [7] Obtain literature on the life of our pious predecessors and try reading a portion of it daily. This will help in understanding how the lives of true friends of Allah were. Education of Deen: Learn all the important aspects and Faraid of Deen. Also try to rectify common mistakes that are usually made in Ibādah. For example, one should rectify the performance of her Salah and correct her Tajweed and the pronunciation in reciting the Quran. Rasullullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam has said: طَلَبُ الْعِلْمِ فَرِيضَةٌ عَلَى كُلِّ مُسْلِمٍ “Acquiring knowledge is binding upon every Muslim.” [8] And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai. [1] (سنن الترمذي، ج5ص434، شركة مكتبة) Sunan At-Tirmidhi, V.5 Pg.434, Shirkah Maktabah) [2] (صحيح البخاري، ج1ص12، دار طوق النجاة) (Sahih Al-Bukhari, V.1 Pg.12, Dar Tauq An-Najah) )[3] صحيح البخاري، ج1ص12، دار طوق النجاة) (Sahih Al-Bukhari, V.1 Pg.12, Dar Tauq An-Najah) [4] (صحيح البخاري، ج8ص13، دار طوق النجاة) (Sahih Al-Bukhari, V.8 Pg.13, Dar Tauq An-Najah) [5] (المجالسة وجواهر العلم، ج8ص273) (Al-Majalisah Wa Jawāhirul Ilm V.8 Pg.273) [6] (صحيح البخاري، ج1ص12، دار طوق النجاة) (Sahih Al-Bukhari, V.1 Pg.12, Dar Tauq An-Najah) [7] (مصنف ابن أبي شيبة، ج7ص142، مكتبة الرشد) (Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaibah, V.7 Pg.142, Maktabah Ar-Rasheed) [8] (سنن ابن ماجه، ج1ص81، دار إحياء الكتب العربية) (Sunan Ibn Majah, V.1 Pg.81, Dar Ihyaah Al-Kutub Al-Arabiyyah

Question: I would like to know the permissibility of doing a pap smear for females, I am a nurse in internship currently and want to know if this would be ok for me doing for patients? Answer:In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullahi wa-barakatuh. A pap smear is a quick, painless test used to detect early cell changes in the neck of the womb, which may later progress to cancer. Cancer does not develop suddenly in the cells. There is a gradual change from normal, through various levels of abnormality, through pre-cancer and eventually to cancer. This whole process can take many years. The pap smear detects these along-the-way changes and indicates how far along that road a women has traveled. Treatment can be given at an early stage and so prevent the later development of true cancer. An instrument is placed into the vagina and cells are scraped off the surface of the cervix with a wooden spatula. The cells are put onto a glass slide which is then sent to the laboratory for examination under a microscope. Should abnormal cells be detected, the client will be referred for treatment to prevent development of cancer of the cervix.[1] It is clear from the above that a pap smear test is conducted for medical reasons, hence it is permissible.[2] And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai. idealwoman.org [1] www.kznhealth.gov.za/papsmear.htm [2] وَيَجُوزُ النَّظَرُ إلَى الْفَرْجِ لِلْخَاتِنِ وَلِلْقَابِلَةِ وَلِلطَّبِيبِ عِنْدَ الْمُعَالَجَةِ وَيَغُضُّ بَصَرَهُ ما اسْتَطَاعَ كَذَا في السِّرَاجِيَّةِ وَيَجُوزُ لِلرَّجُلِ النَّظَرُ إلَى فَرْجِ الرَّجُلِ لِلْحُقْنَةِ كَذَا ذَكَرَ شَمْسُ الْأَئِمَّةِ السَّرَخْسِيُّ كَذَا في الظَّهِيرِيَّةِ وقد رُوِيَ عن أبي يُوسُفَ رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى إنْ كان بِهِ هُزَالٌ فَاحِشٌ فَقِيلَ له إنَّ الْحُقْنَةَ تُزِيلُ ما بِكَ من الْهُزَالِ فَلَا بَأْسَ بِأَنْ يُبْدِيَ ذلك الْمَوْضِعَ لِلْحُقْنَةِ وَهَذَا صَحِيحٌ فإن الْهُزَالَ الْفَاحِشَ نَوْعُ مَرَضٍ يَكُونُ آخِرُهُ الدِّقَّ وَالسُّلَّ وَذَكَرَ شَمْسُ الْأَئِمَّةِ الْحَلْوَانِيُّ رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى في شَرْحِ كِتَابِ الصَّوْمِ أَنَّ الْحُقْنَةَ إنَّمَا تَجُوزُ عِنْدَ الضَّرُورَةِ وإذا لم يَكُنْ ثَمَّةَ ضَرُورَةٍ وَلَكِنْ فيها مَنْفَعَةٌ ظَاهِرَةٌ بِأَنْ يَتَقَوَّى بِسَبَبِهَا على الْجِمَاعِ لَا يَحِلُّ عِنْدَنَا وإذا كان بِهِ هُزَالٌ فَإِنْ كان هُزَالٌ يُخْشَى منه التَّلَفُ يَحِلُّ وما لَا فَلَا كَذَا في الذَّخِيرَةِ عن أبي حَنِيفَةَ وَأَبِي يُوسُفَ رَحِمَهُمَا اللَّهُ تَعَالَى لَا يَدْخُلُ على الْأُمِّ وَالْبِنْتِ وَالْأُخْتِ إلَّا بِإِذْنٍ أَمَّا على امْرَأَتِهِ يُسَلِّمُ وَلَا يَسْتَأْذِنُ كَذَا في التَّتَارْخَانِيَّة امْرَأَةٌ أَصَابَتْهَا قُرْحَةٌ في مَوْضِعٍ لَا يَحِلُّ لِلرَّجُلِ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ إلَيْهِ لَا يَحِلُّ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ إلَيْهَا لَكِنْ تُعْلِمُ امْرَأَةً تُدَاوِيهَا فَإِنْ لم يَجِدُوا امْرَأَةً تُدَاوِيهَا وَلَا امْرَأَةً تَتَعَلَّمُ ذلك إذَا عُلِّمَتْ وَخِيفَ عليها الْبَلَاءُ أو الْوَجَعُ أو الْهَلَاكُ فإنه يُسْتَرُ منها كُلُّ شَيْءٍ إلَّا مَوْضِعَ تِلْكَ الْقُرْحَةِ ثُمَّ يُدَاوِيهَا الرَّجُلُ وَيَغُضُّ بَصَرَهُ ما اسْتَطَاعَ إلَّا عن ذلك الْمَوْضِعِ وَلَا فَرْقَ في هذا بين ذَوَاتِ الْمَحَارِمِ وَغَيْرِهِنَّ لِأَنَّ النَّظَرَ إلَى الْعَوْرَةِ لَا يَحِلُّ بِسَبَبِ الْمَحْرَمِيَّةِ كَذَا في فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ وَلَوْ خَافَتْ الِافْتِصَادَ من الْمَرْأَةِ فَلِلْأَجْنَبِيِّ أَنْ يَفْصِدَهَا كَذَا في الْقُنْيَةِ وَالْعَبْدُ في النَّظَرِ إلَى مَوْلَاتِهِ الْحُرَّةِ التي لَا قَرَابَةَ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَهَا بِمَنْزِلَةِ الرَّجُلِ الْأَجْنَبِيِّ الْحُرِّ يَنْظُرُ إلَى وَجْهِهَا وَكَفِّهَا وَلَا يَنْظُرُ إلَى ما لَا يَنْظُرُ الْأَجْنَبِيُّ الْحُرُّ من الْحُرَّةِ الْأَجْنَبِيَّةِ سَوَاءً كان الْعَبْدُ خَصِيًّا أو فَحْلًا إذَا بَلَغَ مَبْلَغَ الرِّجَالِ وَأَمَّا الْمَجْبُوبُ الذي جَفَّ مَاؤُهُ فَبَعْضُ مَشَايِخِنَا رَخَّصُوا اخْتِلَاطَهُ بِالنِّسَاءِ وَالْأَصَحُّ أَنَّهُ لَا يُرَخَّصُ وَيُمْنَعُ وَلِلْعَبْدِ أَنْ يَدْخُلَ على مَوْلَاتِهِ بِغَيْرِ إذْنِهَا إجْمَاعًا وَأَجْمَعُوا على أَنَّ الْعَبْدَ لَا يُسَافِرُ بِسَيِّدَتِهِ كَذَا في فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ وَلَا بَأْسَ بِدُخُولِ الصِّبْيَانِ على النِّسَاءِ ما لم يَبْلُغُوا الْحُلُمَ وَقُدِّرَ ذلك بِخَمْسَةَ عَشَرَ لِأَنَّ الصَّبِيَّ لَا يَحْتَلِمُ وَالْوَاحِدُ وَالْكَثِيرُ فيها سَوَاءٌ كَذَا في الْكُبْرَى سُئِلَ الْحَسَنُ بن عَلِيٍّ الْمَرْغِينَانِيُّ رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى هل على الْمُسْتَحَاضَةِ أو على الْحَائِضِ أَنْ تَنْظُرَ إلَى فَرْجِهَا وَقْتَ كل صَلَاةٍ فقال لَا وَسُئِلَ أَيْضًا عن النَّظَرِ إلَى عِظَامِ الْمَرْأَةِ بَعْدَ مَوْتِهَا مِثْلُ جُمْجُمَتِهَا هل يَجُوزُ فقال لَا كَذَا في التَّتَارْخَانِيَّة نَاقِلًا عن الْيَتِيمَةِ في مُتَفَرِّقَاتِ الْكَرَاهَةِ اللِّوَاطَةُ مع مَمْلُوكِهِ أو مَمْلُوكَتِهِ أو امْرَأَتِهِ حَرَامٌ الْمَرْأَةُ إذَا انْقَطَعَ حِجَابُهَا الذي بين الْقُبُلِ وَالدُّبُرِ لَا يَجُوزُ لِلزَّوْجِ أَنْ يَطَأَهَا إلَّا أَنْ يَعْلَمَ أَنَّهُ يُمْكِنَهُ أَنْ يَأْتِيَهَا في الْقُبُلِ من غَيْرِ الْوُقُوعِ في الدُّبُرِ وَإِنْ شَكَّ فَلَيْسَ له أَنْ يَطَأَهَا كَذَا في الْغَرَائِبِ وَاَللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ { الفتاوي الهندية، ج 5، ص 330}

SEVEN MORAL VALUES TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN As parents, we ensure our children's education through the medium of schools. Our children will learn certain things in their classrooms. However, our responsibility to teach does not end with dropping off the child at the school gates. In the home, parents have to set a good example in their conduct and realise that children are good observers of their actions. Parents have to be keen in making sure that their children grow up with sound moral values and not influenced by negative traits picked up here and there along the way and from amongst peers. The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam is reported to have said: Allah Ta'ala will ask every caretaker about the people under his care, and the man will be asked about the people of his household.” (Nasa’i and Abu Da’ud) Good upbringing of children in our care is a responsibility and teaching of manners is central to it. A famous saying of Abdullah bin al-Mubarak (RA) goes: “I spent thirty years learning manners, and I spent twenty years learning knowledge.” In no particular order of importance, below are a selected seven moral values that we can bequeath to our children, yielding returns without measure, insha-Allah. 1. Respect Respect for the other and authority is an important value in society. Alongside respect children learn other values such as self-discipline and patience. The conduct of the child is often a reflection of the nature of upbringing. The Swahili of East Africa have a saying: “Those who are not taught [manners] by their parents, will be taught by the world.” Parents caring for the future of their children will not leave it to the ‘school of hard knocks.’ 2. Humility It may sound self-defeating to teach a child humility in an era when a child has to grow in ‘self-belief’ and ‘confidence’. However, humility is about being graceful in achievement without pride and arrogance. It is also about acknowledging that you have shortcomings for which you apologise especially when another has been inconvenienced by your action or omission. 3. Responsibility Even at a young age, children show interest in performing duties and chores around the home. This has to be encouraged to lay a foundation for taking up more responsibilities of their own personal hygiene, maintaining cleanliness in their own spaces, caring for their possessions and so on. This inculcates discipline and helps to develop a sense of even more responsibility as they become of age. 4. Obedience Iblis’s fall from grace was due to his arrogance and disobedience. How often do we see defiance to authority as an act of bravery? “Rules are made to be broken,” so goes the rebel’s refrain. A good parent gives latitude but knows where to draw the line. It is important to remain firm and consistent in re-enforcing obedience by using appropriate rewards and sanctions. 5. Politeness It is common courtesies and good manners towards others that set apart a refined character and an intolerable personality. By teaching our children how to greet, express gratitude, how to speak to adults and even to leave alone matters that do not concern them, we would have given them a key to the door of inter-personal relations. Civility costs nothing but it’s worth much. The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam said, It [Hellfire] is forbidden to touch a man who is always accessible, having polite and tender nature.” (Tirmidhi) In the home situation, it should not be hard for a son who learns by hearing a father saying ‘sorry’ to a mother. “…No one is humble for the sake of Allah without Allah elevating him.” [Muslim] 6. Honesty Parents sometimes ask children in prosecutorial manner, demanding answers that put children on the defensive. It is important to encourage children to always say the truth by showing that you care and that their honesty and not ‘cover-ups’ leads to solutions that they can be at ease with. Teach children that it is truth that sets one free. The Almighty commands us: “O ye who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. (Qur’an 4:135) 7. Friendliness In an environment where we teach our children not to ‘speak to strangers’, it is a difficult to strike a balance between caution against those who can take advantage of our young ones and being friendly. Regardless, where possible, our children need to be sociable. Abu Dharr Radhi-Allahu anhu reported that the Messenger of Allah Sallallahu alayhi wasallam said: “Your smile to your brother is a sadaqah (charitable act) for you. (Tirmidhi) So, do not respond to your child’s smile with a hostile: “What’s funny?!” Courtesy of islamsa.org Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians 223 Alpine Road, Overport, Durban

The True Miser عن علي رضي الله عنه قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: البخيل من ذكرت عنده فلم يصل علي.(الترمذي رقم 3546 Hadhrat Ali (Radhiallahu Anhu) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “A true miser is the one who my name is mentioned in his presence and he does not recite durood upon me Reciting one thousand Durood daily Abul Hasan Baghdaadi Ad-Daarimi (Rahmatullahi Alaihi) says that he had often seen Abu Abdillah Haamid (Rahmatullahi Alaihi) in a dream after his death. I asked him what had transpired with him and he said: “Allah Ta’ala forgave me and had mercy on me.” I then asked him: “Please inform me of one such deed, which shall admit me directly into Paradise.” He replied, “Perform one thousand nafl rakaats and in each rakaat recite one thousand times Surah Ikhlaas.” Abul Hasan said: “But this is indeed an extremely difficult deed to fulfil.” He replied: “In that case, recite durood upon Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) one thousand times every night.” Abul Hasan further says that this has been my routine since then. (Fazaail Durood) يَا رَبِّ صَلِّ وَ سَلِّم دَائِمًا أَبَدًا عَلَى حَبِيبِكَ خَيرِ الخَلْقِ كُلِّهِمِ Ihyaaud Deen

Reciting Durood One Hundred times Daily عن جابر رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من صلى علي في كل يوم مائة مرة قضى الله له مائة حاجة سبعين منها لآخرته و ثلاثين منها لدنياه (القول البديع ص 277) Hadhrat Jaabir (Radhiallahu Anhu) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “Whoever recites durood one hundred times upon me daily, Allah Ta’ala will fulfil one hundred of his needs, seventy of the hereafter and thirty of this world.