ummtaalib

Marrying non-Muslims. The Legal Ruling Question Could someone from amongst your group (Please) put together a reply that gives the reasons why our young women may not marry outside Islam and send it to the gentleman (also covering his question)? Please keep me in copy as I am interested in forwarding it to a young Muslim friend who is ‘marrying’ an Irish Catholic man who refuses to convert to Islam. ANSWER In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, Inter-marriage between Muslims and non-Muslims is something that has been clearly prohibited in the Qur’an and Sunnah, thus not permissible in any way. The only exception to this general rule is the marriage of Muslim men with Christian and Jewish girls, and that also with certain conditions. Allah Most High says: “Do not marry unbelieving women until they believe. A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though if she attracts you. And not marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe. A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though if he attracts you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire but Allah beckons by His grace to the garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His signs clear to mankind; that they may receive admonition.” (al-Baqarah, 221) The above verse of the Holy Qur’an along with many other statements of the Qur’an and Sunnah clearly mention the impermissibility of Muslims marrying non-Muslims. Therefore, a marriage between a Muslim and someone from another religion will not be lawful or even valid according to Islam. The exception, however, is mentioned in the following verse: “(Lawful unto you in marriage are chaste women who are believers and chaste women among the people of the book.” (al-Ma’idah, 5) Thus, it would be permissible, in principle, for Muslim men to marry women from the people of the book (ahl al-Kitab) namely Christian and Jewish girls. However, this is also subjected to certain conditions, as will be mentioned later. The reason behind this prohibition (of inter-marriage between Muslims and non-Muslims) is that, marital relationships demand mutual love, affection and intimacy, and without this, the purpose of marriage is left unfulfilled. If such close relationship of love and intimacy is established with a non-Muslim, it may emotionally incline a Muslim towards disbelief (kufr) or, at the least; abhorrence of Kufr and Shirk may not remain in the heart. Consequently, it may lead one to disbelief and eventually the fire of Hell. This is why Allah Almighty said towards the end of the verse of Surah al-Baqarah quoted above: “Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire, but Allah beckons by His grace to the garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His signs clear to mankind; that they may receive admonition.” ( 221) (See: Ma’arif al-Qur’an, 1/ 540) Therefore, the fear that a Muslim man or woman may well be affected with his/her partner’s religion, thus go on to a path that leads to the fire of hell, is the main cause for this prohibition. Hence, a Muslim woman will not be allowed whatsoever to marry anyone besides a Muslim man, and even if she did, the marriage will not be valid in Islam. Similarly, a Muslim man will not be allowed to marry any non-Muslim girl, such as a Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, or any other non-Muslim woman. However, it will be permissible for him to marry a Christian or a Jewish girl. This is explained in the following section. Marrying Christian and Jewish girls As stated previously, Islam has allowed Muslim men to marry women from the people of the book (ahl al-Kitab). This permission is explicitly mentioned in the verse of the Qur’an already quoted: “(Lawful unto you in marriage are chaste women who are believers and chaste women among the people of the book.” (al-Ma’idah, 5) However, there are certain points that need to be taken into consideration here: Firstly, the exception of Christian and Jewish girls is because the difference in belief between the people of the book and Muslims is relatively lesser and lighter as compared with other non-Muslims. They are all monotheistic religions and known as the Abrahamic faiths. The basic difference between Islam and the other two religions is the belief in the last Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace). Therefore, the fear and danger of corruptibility is less as compared to marrying with women from other faiths, thus Islam gave this permission for Muslim men to marry Christian and Jewish girls. A question may arise here, that if the difference between Muslims and people of the book is considered to be lighter as compared to other faiths, then why is it unlawful for Muslim girls to marry Christian and Jewish men? The answer to this question is that, women are somewhat weak and emotional by nature. Then, the husband has also been given a caretaking and controlling role over the wife. As such, it is very likely that the Muslim wife may fall prey and become impressed with her husband’s faith. The chances of the husband becoming affected by his wife’s faith are remote, thus the difference between the two situations is clear. Moreover, by marrying a Christian or a Jewish man, the status of the Muslim wife would be affected, for the wife normally takes the nationality and status given by her husband’s law. A Christian or a Jewish woman marrying a Muslim man would be expected eventually to accept Islam, while the possibility of a Muslim woman changing her faith to that of her husband is very likely. Therefore, only Muslim men were given this permission of marrying women from the people of the book. Secondly, women who are Christians and Jews merely by name, and do not really believe in any religion, like a large number of people in the west, cannot be termed as people of the book (ahl al-Kitab). They are atheist in reality and it will not be permissible for Muslim men to marry them. Therefore, one must first make sure that the woman is truly a believing Christian or Jew, and then consider contracting marriage with them. Thirdly, it should be remembered that the meaning of the permission of marrying Christian and Jewish women is simply that, if a marriage contract was performed with them, it would be valid according to Islam and the children born out of this wedlock will be considered legitimate. However, there are various narrations that establish its undesirability. A Muslim man is advised in the Hadith to select a life partner who fully observes the injunctions of Islam, so that she becomes a means of attaining piety. If that is the case, then marrying Christian and Jewish girls would be disliked. This is the reason why Sayyiduna Umar ibn al-Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) prevented many such marriages in his lifetime because of what he had seen of the corruption that resulted in Iraq and Syria. (See: Muhammad ibn al-Hasan, Kitab al-Athar). Finally, this permission is only when one is confident that he himself or his children will not be affected by this marriage. In the early days, Muslims were duly equipped with adequate Islamic knowledge and an unshaken commitment towards their religion. As such, there was no risk of the husband being affected by his wife’s religion. Rather, the wife would see the glory of Islam, thus enter into the fold of Islam. Therefore, if a Muslim male is confident that marriage with a Christian or Jewish girl will have no affect on his and his children’s Islamic identity and commitment, then there is no bar against such marriages. However, if he is not so confident, he must avoid entering into such marriages. And Allah Knows Best [Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam Darul Iftaa Leicester , UK Source

I think aishazanap is looking for gift giving traditions in different countries....the only ones i can think of are non Muslim traditions/customs at Christmas, birthdays, valentines etc.

Interfaith Marriages: Why can’t a Muslim Woman marry a non-Muslim Man? By Ebrahim Saifuddin People often ask the question that if Muslim men are allowed to marry non-Muslim women, why Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men. Firstly it is important to point out that Muslim men are not allowed to marry any non-Muslim women. The only people with whom the Muslim man is allowed to marry are from the People of the Book i.e. those who have faith in the previous revelations informed by Allah (swt). “… (lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time, – when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).” – [Qur'an 5:5] Also from the Qur'anic Ayah it is important to note that lawful are not all the women among the People of the Book but only the chaste ones. Apart from these, a Muslim man is not allowed to marry any other woman. Hence the question asked by people should be rephrased into ‘why can’t a Muslim woman marry from among the People of the Book?’ Islam being a complete way of life gives us the minutest details of how to live our lives and the roles we have in society. Man by nature tends to be dominant and woman by nature tends to be compromising. This is a fact which cannot be denied. Some women might claim that they are more dominant in their marriage etc and hence it is not always true that men are dominant. Even if I do agree that there are some women who are more dominant as compared to their husbands, these still are rare cases. Like two in a thousand and thus a minority. Islam is a universal religion and thus needs to secure people at a global level and thus in certain issues its rulings are based on the majority rather than minority. One might ask here how Islam is securing the woman by its rulings on this matter. Primarily Islam teaches us to believe in all the prophets علیھم السلام that were sent by Allah(swt) to Mankind. Thus a Muslim by default believes in Jesus and Moses علیھما السلام. On the other hand, the Christian does not believe in Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and the Jew does not believe in Muhammad ﷺ nor Jesus علیہ السلام as prophets of Allah(swt). This is a very important point because a Muslim man would by default respect the prophet which his non-Muslim wife believes in but a non-Muslim man would not believe or respect the prophet which his wife believes in. After the couple has children, the non-Muslim wife would teach their child to love and respect the prophet she believes in. The Muslim man would certainly not object if his child is being taught to love Jesus or Moses علیھما السلام. On the other hand the non-Muslim husband might object when his Muslim wife would teach their child about Islam. It is highly likely for the man to teach his children the religion he follows. A non-Muslim man with a Muslim wife would then teach their child to be a Christian or Jew. This would mean that the mother would have to be a witness to her child being led onto the wrong path. In such a situation the mother might retaliate by teaching her child the Islamic values and principles. This in turn would lead the relations between the spouses to turn sour. This could also lead to domestic violence. The United States is a country which is most vociferous regarding rights of individuals. In a survey carried out by The Commonwealth Fund in 1998 and it was seen that there was an estimated 960,000 cases of domestic violence. They stated that around one-third of the American women report being physically or sexually abused by their husbands or boyfriends. Moreover they add that around thirty percent of the American people claim that they know of a woman who was abused physically by her husband or boyfriend. These are the realities which one tends to overlook when they speak about Islam being unfair to the Muslim woman. Further the non-Muslim spouse could end up divorcing his wife, which would lead to trauma for the Muslim woman and the children. The non-Muslim husband would naturally not recognize Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to be a prophet of Allah(swt) and might object to the Islamic practices of his wife. He could object to the hijab which the wife would wear. He could want the wife to dress more ‘moderately’ especially when accompanying him to a party. Moreover he could ask the wife to sit with him while he consumes alcohol. The husband could want the wife to serve alcohol for him and a couple of friends after dinner. It is a huge sin in Islam for a person to have anything to do with alcohol. Moreover the husband could want to eat pork for lunch or dinner and could ask the wife to cook it for him. Again this is something not allowed for a Muslim to do and thus would cause trouble in the family. The husband could find it okay for him to drink where his wife is offering prayers. It could be okay for the husband to keep a pet dog inside the house. This is another thing which is not allowed by Islam but the non-Muslim husband might not understand it. As it can be seen, there can be a lot of issues which can arise between the marriage of a Muslim woman and non-Muslim man. It is also important to point out that the non-Muslim man could later on, either of himself or out of pressure from his family, compel the Muslim woman to accept the faith he follows. On the other hand, a Muslim man respects the People of the Book and is under strict instructions from Allah(swt) not to compel his wife to change her faith. Hence the rights of a non-Muslim wife are secure and protected in the house of a Muslim man whereas it is not necessarily the same in a vice versa situation. One might say that it could also be possible for a non-Muslim wife to disrespect the Muslim husband’s beliefs as well. What is interesting is that such a case is highly unlikely to occur because of the teachings present in the books of the People of the Book. The Bible tells us that when Eve committed the sin, the punishment she received from God was: To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” – [Genesis 3:16] Thus to the women of the People of the Book, their scripture teaches that their husband will rule over them and they are not to speak against them as the husbands are given this position by God. It should be noted here that such a concept does not exist in Islam and both Adam and Eve are blamed equally for the sin they committed. For details on that issue refer to my article “Original Sin or Original Forgiveness – What is the lesson?” Now let us further see what the religious scriptures, of the People of the Book, teach. They state that the wives are to submit to their husbands just as they submit to God. The wife is told to submit to their husbands just the way the church submits to Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. – [Ephesians 5:22-24] Another verse that is important to mention is as such: Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. – [1 Peter 3:1-2] As one can see that the women of the People of the Book are told to completely submit to their husbands regardless of whether the husband believes in the word or not. To them the husband has been given a position by God to rule over them. Thus it is highly unlikely for her to disrespect her husband. At the same time the non-Muslim man comes from the line of thought that they are in this world to rule over their wives and that their wives should submit to them like they would submit to God. Hence it is highly likely for there to be clashes between the marriages of non-Muslim men with Muslim women. However this would further give rise to another question which people could ask. They could say that Islam teaches the wife to be respectful towards her husband so then there should be no clash between a Muslim wife and her non-Muslim husband. This line of argument would hold to be true only if the husband was given a status above God in Islam. That is of course not the case and Islam asks for complete submission to Allah(swt) and then come other responsibilities. Islam stresses on Muslims to respect their parents yet Muslims are not supposed to follow their parents’ orders if they are contrary to the teachings of Islam. Similarly a Muslim woman is not to follow what her husband says if it is contrary to the teachings of Islam. Thus keeping all the factors in mind any Muslim woman would agree that she is better off marrying a Muslim man as opposed to a non-Muslim man. Allah(swt) has Absolute Wisdom and thus He has set laws which are only better for us. We, being humans, have limited wisdom which is negligible in front of Allah(swt) and thus at times we might not be able to comprehend the true reason why certain things are forbidden in Islam. Allah(swt) does know that many would not recognize that which is bad for us and thus He says in the Quran: But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not. – [Quran 2:216] In the end, it is important for us to realise that as we accept Allah(swt) as our Creator, we bring belief on to what He has decreed for us and accept that to be in our best interest. Thus we hear and we obey. The reasons which were stated in the article are not absolute but the wisdom of Allah(swt) is Absolute. Thus, hypothetically, if we are to say that all the reasons stated above are invalid today, still the ruling of Allah(swt) remains and we are to obey it.

PRIVACY WITH STRANGERS Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam said: “A person may not sit in privacy with a strange woman except that any of her Mahram (close family members whom she is not allowed to marry) be present with her.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

PURDAH EVEN FROM THE BLIND Hazrat Umme-Salma and Hazrat Maymoona (RA) were once in the presence of Rasulullah sallallahu 'alayhiw asallam when a blind Sahabi, Hazrat Abdullah bin Ummi-Maktoom (RA) came to him, upon which Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam instructed them to observe Purdah. They replied: “O Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam is he not blind?” (in other words, why should we make Purdah from a blind man?) Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam answered: “Are the two of you blind?” (Tirmidhi) N.B. Thus women are not allowed to look at strange men, even though they are within the purdah themselves. Where the Qur’aan Majeed prohibits men from gazing at women, in the very next verse women are also instructed to keep their gazes low from strange men. (Refer to Surah 24, Verse 31.) It is thus unlawful for them to look at any strange man. Many women are totally ignorant of this Mas’ala. Many are there who peep and stare away at strange men from the slits of their veils (Niqaab), thinking that none is looking at them, but remember Allah is Ever-Present, Ever-Watchful. EFFECTIVE REMEDIES FOR SPITITUAL MALADIES Arifbillah Hazrat Moulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb

BROTHER IN LAW IS MAUT (DEATH) Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam said: “Abstain from the company of strange women..” One Sahabi (RA) asked Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam regarding the brother-in-law (being in privacy with his sister-in-law, his brother’s wife). Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam replied; “The brother-in-law is (like) Maut,” (Bukhari,-Muslim) N.B. Included with the brother-in-law are his cousins, nephews and uncles as well as other close relatives of the husband. “Like Maut” means, just as a person flees and fears Maut, so too should he fear the privacy of such people with his wife. Allah forbid! The consequences of this can be terrible for the entire family, possibly for generations to come? EFFECTIVE REMEDIES FOR SPITITUAL MALADIES Arifbillah Hazrat Moulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb

Advice to Males Intending Polygamy It should be understood that it is very painful, difficult, and traumatic for women, especially in those societies where polygamy is hardly practiced to accept their husbands taking another wife. The influence of alien culture has so strongly overwhelmed them that there is not only a fear of ruining their marriages but also a chance of them losing their Imam. Therefore, it is of utmost importance that this matter be approached correctly and dealt with caution, care and diplomacy. Before thinking of a second marriage consider the following: Consider the responsibility which comes along with a second marriage. Reflect whether you are able to fulfil the Shar’i obligations of both wives in a fair and just manner. Seek advice from your local Ulama and senior members of his family and community. Seek advice from those already in a polygamous marriage. Be able to adjust your routine and daily schedule. Make all arrangements to ensure all wives receive their rights. Possess a strong emotional state of mind to be able to handle the sensitiveness of all his wives. Never contemplate polygyny as an experimental exercise. Never consider polygyny to spite the first wife. Take note that the permission of polygyny should not be abused. Take into account the feelings and sentiments of the first wife and endeavour to provide every reassurance, support and comfort to her. Be understanding, tolerant, caring and patient towards his first wife who is facing a most tumultuous period in her life that could cause her to have bouts of irrational behaviour from time to time. Consider the impact it will have on his immediate family and what measures he has in place to support them through possible turmoil. These are some points which need to be carefully considered before taking a second wife. Advice to a Woman who’s Husband Seeks a Second Marriage. A husband intending a second marriage could be very challenging for a woman. It could have disastrous consequences however, it is left up to an individual what she wants to make out of it. Allah Ta’ala does not burden his slaves with that which they cannot bear. Depending on the way she response to her husband’s intentions of a second marriage so will the outcome be. If she response positively the husbands second marriage could prove to be for fruitful for her too. We all know the busy and hectic lives women lead. From caring for the husbands needs to the kids, doing the household chores and her personal needs. A co-wife could prove to help and assist in her having more time for herself and her kids. Also at times the husband could be very demanding. After a long days work (of a woman) for a woman to still give full attention to a demanding husband could also be very difficult causing much frustration. With a co-wife they could equally share the burden. Below are few ways in which a woman could respond to her husband’s intentions: She becomes very angry, upset and is besides herself with rage, to the point of acting violently against others and herself. She threatens to leave him and abuses the custody of kids. In short she just crates a host of complex problems. She is all the above but does not leave him. Instead, she puts up a fierce resistance turning her home and everybody’s lives into a living hell. She accepts the situation grudgingly. She may not display her anger but rather gives the impression that all is well. This store anger then drives her to act maliciously by placing various obstacles in the husband’s life. She is naturally upset, but takes it positively turning to Allah Ta’ala, asking His assistance. She also encourages her husband and co-operates with her co-wife. Shaytan will most definitely bombard her with evil thoughts and feelings sinking her into depression. However, by being patient and turning to Allah Ta’ala, He will most definitely help her. A Golden Rule to Remember: The hurt will not leave if she resorts to unreasonable behaviour, but will prolong her anguish if not increase it. To overcome the hurt, she will have to place herself in the ward where this takes place; the ward of the patient. Source

An Ansari razes a building to the ground. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was once passing through a street of Madinah Munawwarah when he saw a building with a dome. He inquired from the Sahaabah, "What is this?" They informed him that it was a new building built by one of the Ansaar. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) remained silent. At another time, the Ansaari who had built that house came to Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and greeted him with salaam. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) turned his face away from him. He repeated the salaam, but Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) again did not respond. This Sahaabi (Radhiallahu Anhu) was extremely concerned on account of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) not responding to his salaam. When he asked the Sahaabah, he was informed that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) passed by the new building he had constructed and inquired about it. He immediately went and razed the new building to the ground, and did not even inform Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) about his action. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) happened to pass that way again. He inquired: “Where is that building with a dome that I remember seeing the last time we passed by this spot?” The Sahabah informed him of the Ansaari razing it to the ground, as he felt that it was the cause of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam’s) displeasure. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) at that juncture remarked. “Every structure (which is constructed without a real need) will be a burden for one, except that structure which is absolutely essential.” The conduct of the Sahaabi exhibited true love and devotion. The Sahaabah could not bear the displeasure of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), and no sooner did they sense the displeasure of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) through any action, they immediately abandoned that action at all costs. (Fazaail Aamaal) يَا رَبِّ صَلِّ وَ سَلِّمْ دَائِمًا أَبَدًا عَلَى حَبِيبِكَ خَيرِ الخَلْقِ كُلِّهِمِ

When the treaty of Hudaybiyah was being negotiated, Urwah bin Mas'ood (Radhiallahu Anhu) an envoy of the Quraysh (who at the time of the treaty of hudaybiyah had not yet embraced Islam), had an opportunity of witnessing the conduct of the Sahaabah with Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). When he returned to his people, he said to them: "I have been to the courts of great kings and monarchs as an envoy. I have met the Emperors of Persia, Rome and Abyssinia. Nowhere have I seen people around a sovereign so respectful to him, as I saw the companions of Hadhrat Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). When he spits, his mubaarak saliva is not allowed to fall on the ground. It is taken by somebody in his hands to anoint his face and body therewith (in order to acquire blessings). When he issues some order, every person hastens to carry it out. When he makes Wudhu, his companions race with one another to snatch the water trickling down from his limbs, in such a way that an observer would think they are going to fight over that water. When he speaks, everybody is silent (out of respect). Nobody raises his eyes to look at him, out of respect for him." (Fazaail Aamaal) يَا رَبِّ صَلِّ وَ سَلِّمْ دَائِمًا أَبَدًا عَلَى حَبِيبِكَ خَيرِ الخَلْقِ كُلِّهِمِ

Polygamy in Islam: A Preventive Measure against Adultery and a Remedial Approach to the problem of the comparatively larger Female Population Before the advent of Islam, in all religions of the world, one man having more than one wife was something considered permissible . The custom prevailed in Arabia, India, Iran, Egypt, Babylon and among people elsewhere. Its natural validity cannot be denied even to this day. The Europeans of the present age tried to break away from the practice of their predecessors and made multiplicity of marriage impermissible. It resulted in the multiplicity of concubines and girlfriends retained out of wedlock and without any obligations and responsibilty of maintainence etc. The truth of the matter is that a religion or law which aims to establish an infra-structure of chastity and modesty and considers the eradication of adultery as necessary has no way out except that it permits plurality of wives. Apart from being a preventive measure against adultery, it serves as a remedial approach to the problem of comparatively larger female population in some areas as compared to that of men. If such permission was not granted, mistresses and prostitutes would proliferate. This is why nations which do not permit plurality of wives must live in rampant adultery (calling it “free sex” hardly changes the reality). Hence, in short, taking more than one wife was prevalent in all nations prior to Islam without the imposition of any limits. The history of nations and beliefs shows that no religion or law had drawn a line in this matter, niether the Jews and Christians, nor the Hindus, Arians nor the Zoarastrians. During the early days of Islam, this custom continued without being limited. As a result, people took too many wives to satisfy their greed. Later on they could not do justice to all of them and these wives of theirs lived like prisoners bound in the chains of marriage. Under such conditions, the idea of an equitable treatment of wives was practically non-existent. It was all a matter of personal choice or whim which could make the darling of a day a history of tomorrow. The concern for standing rights was a far cry. It was the Holy Quran that stopped this great injustice prevailing in the Human society at large. It restricted the plurality or multiplicity of wives by declaring that keeping more than four women under the bond of marriage was forbidden (haram). In addition to that, stern warning was given against contravention of the divine command which emphatically demanded that equality in fulfilling the rights of women taken into the bond of marriage at the same time must be maintained faithfully. The words of the Holy Quran are: فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء مَثْنَى وَثُلاَثَ وَرُبَاعَ On the one hand, permission has been given in this verse that more than one wife can be conjoined in marriage in twos, threes or fours, while on the other hand, after having taken the number to four, restriction was placed that more than four women cannot be taken in marriage at one given time. Thereafter the Holy Quran mentions: فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تَعْدِلُواْ فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ “But if you fear that you wil not maintain equity, then (keep to) one woman or a bondwoman you own.” From here we find out that having more than one wife is permissible and appropriate only on condition that equality can be maintained among all wives as required under the Shariah of Islam, and that the rights of all can be duly fulfilled. If one does not have the capability to discharge his obligations in this manner, the rule is to keep to only one wife. As stated earlier, the injustices of multiple marriages during Jaahiliyah without any considerations of rights of wives had made a mockery of this field of human relationship. So, the Quranic command was, if you are unable to do perfect justice between wives, then restrict yourself to no more than one, or make do with a bondwoman you may own (with the absence of slavery, this is not currently found). (Source: Ma’ariful Quraan – Mufti Muhammad Shafi Sb R.A.) Below are some facts for consideration as well: 1. Average life span of females is more than that of males By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females. During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers. 2. World female population is more than male population In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males. 3. Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband. And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best Was Salaam Shafiq Jakhura (Mufti) Fatwa Dept. DarulIhsaan.com

Wisdoms behind polygamy There is much wisdom why men have been given the permission to polygamy. I would just like to mention a few: 1) It is a known fact that there are more women than men and that they have a longer life. More men die due to wars and other incidents. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers. If we restricted men to having only one wife, then there would be many women without husbands. Especially, when a woman is divorced or she becomes a widow, at times it is very difficult for her to remarry. In permitting polygamy, there is a solution to this problem. These women will have someone to look after their social and economic needs. 2) At times, the wife is incapable of procreating and the husband desires to have children. Polygamy can also serve as a solution to this problem. 3) Some men are not satisfied with one woman. Recognising this need of a man, Islam permitted them to marry more than one wife, rather than falling into the trap of adultery and fornication. In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life. At times, the woman may not be able to fulfil the physical needs of her husband due to illness. By permitting polygamy, the door of extra-marital affairs is closed. The above are just some of the reasons and wisdoms behind the permissibility of practicing polygamy. This is the decision of Allah, and we as Muslims must accept it. Allah Most High says: “It is not fitting for a believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have any option about their decision. If anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path.” (al-Ahzab, 36) Mufti Muhammad Adam Chastity and Modesty The reasons why Islam permits a man to marry more than one wife: Wisdom behind the Limitation

Equality & Justice

Polygamy in Islam Polygamy: According to Islam Islam did not introduce polygyny but permitted it remedied the ills and abuses around it. The Hindus, Babylonians, Persians, Athenians, Jews and pre-Islamic Arabs recognized no limit to the number of wives a man could marry. Islam limited and restricted it in number; and hedged it with severe restrictions. Nowhere in the Shariah is polygyny condemned or discouraged but neither is it an essential commandment enjoining men to take multiple wives. Coupled with this permission is the emphatic command of justice and equality, financially and physically (i.e. spending equal amount of time with each spouse), if one intends taking another wife. The attitude of husband towards all his wives must be such as to give no occasion to heartburning, jealousy, dissatisfaction, discontent and frustration to any of them. There should be no cruelty, injustice, bias or partiality on the part of the husband. It is expected and seen that complete peace, harmony and tranquillity prevails in the household where the husband faithfully observes the injunctions of Islam regarding the equal status of all the wives in matters of maintenance, and general treatment. Each wife is entitled to have the opportunity of feeling the security of their man and sharing the bonds of love with him as well as enjoying his companionship. If the husband cannot exercise this equality he is not allowed to marry more than one. Regarding this restriction of number and equal treatment, the Qur’an ordains: “Marry such as you please, of other women, by twos, threes and fours; but if you apprehend that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then marry one only.” (Qur’an, 4:3) However, since love and emotions are beyond ones control, a man will be excused if he loves one spouse more than another. It is most irrational to demand a person to have equal love for two people. A person has friends but he has his “best friend’, a mother with many kids has “the apple of her eye” and the father has his “blue eyed boy”. Natural Need for Polygyny and its Logic Any society which tried to ban or deny polygyny resulted in nothing but a host of evils and problems that have sunk their societies to the lowest of the low, in the form of prostitution, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, unwanted children, increase in divorce rates etc. etc. Trying to stem the natural has spelt only woe for these societies and those who emulate them. Is polygamy really against the natural law? The facts and findings answer this question in negative. “‘Man’, says G.R. Scott, ‘is essentially polygamous and the development of civilization extends this innate polygamy.’ “(History of prostitution, p. 21; as quoted in ‘Polygamy in Islam’ published by Islami Mission, Lahore and Polygamy? p 17) Dr. Mercier says: “Woman is by nature monogamist; man has in him the element of polygamist.” (Conduct and its Disorders Biologically Considered, p. 292-3; as quoted in ‘Polygamy In Islam’) Professor Russel, an American scholar, said in a conference, held at the University of California, convened to discuss the Family Rights: “Marriage to one wife and being tied down to only one wife for the whole span of life is unnatural and unreasonable.” Then, in the course of a long discussion, he summarized his theory by sayings that “man ought to accept the law of more than one wife as an important factor in the struggle for the survival.” (Ittilaat, Tehran, No. 3104). It is an undeniable fact that in most human societies, females outnumber males. In the U.S.A there are at least eight million more women than men. In a country like Guinea there are at least 122 females for every 100 males. In Tanzania there are 95.1 males per 100 females. What would such societies do towards such unbalanced ratios? A survey over six thousand women, ranging in age from 15-59, conducted in the second largest city in Nigeria showed that sixty percent of these women would be pleased if their husbands took another wife. Seventy-six percent of the women in a survey conducted in Kenya, viewed polygamy positively. In a survey taken in rural Kenya, twenty-five out of twenty-seven women considered polygamy to be better than monogamy. (Women in Islam P 40 with reference to Phillip L. Kilbride, Plural Marriage for Our Times) Some other random examples of the male-female population ratio in some European countries in the early 1900’s: In France females exceeded men by 423:709, in Sweden women exceeded men by 122:870. In the 1980’s women in Spain outnumbered men by 457,260 while in Australia in the same period there were 644,796 more women than men. In Russia the female population presently outnumbers that of men by ten million; the United Kingdom has four million more women than men; while in Germany women exceed men by five million. In America women outnumber men by 7.8 million. (Polygamy? P 16) So if these countries boast the “one man one wife” system, the question that begs to be answered is what happens to these millions of unmarried women? Should they kill the instincts and lead unnatural lives? Should they marry men who are already married or should they allow themselves to become public property or opt for a life of loneliness, insecurity and vulnerability? What is more dignifying to a woman, an accepted and respected second wife or a virtual prostitute? Even if we accept, just for the sake of argument, that the Creator creates equal number of males and females (as claimed by Christian scholars), does it prove that there will be no need of polygamy? Well, let us look at this matter in a reasoned way. The girls become capable of re-production, and get the natural sexual feeling earlier than boys. It is because in temperate climate girls are able to conceive at the age of 9 or 10; while in the same climate an average boy becomes able to establish sexual intercourse at the age of about 14 or 15. Now, suppose a group of people settle together in a place, and suppose that every year 50 boys and 50 girls are born in that community. Also suppose that none of the children die in infancy. In 20 years, there will be 1,000 boys and 1,000 girls. Out of these 1,000 girls, 550 girls (who were born from the 1st. to the 11th year) will have reached the age of puberty, i.e., will be from 10 to 20 years old. And out of the 1,000 boys only 300 will reach the age of puberty. These will be the ones born from 1st year to the 6th year, who will be from 15 to 20 years old. If that community practices monogamy, the 300 boys can marry 300 girls. What will be the fate of the remaining 250 girls? So, the supposed equality in number of boys and girls is wrong not only according to the statistics, but in theory also. Also, one more fact has to be borne in mind, before claiming this equality of the numbers. All healthy women have to pass through a period, every month, when their condition discourages establishment of sexual intercourse. But the man does not lose his sexual urge at any time. What is the remedy if a man is unable to resist his sexual urge at a time when his wife is having her menstruation? Either polygamy, which has legal status, or going to the prostitutes, which is forbidden in every religion. The numerous problems that arise on account of a surplus of single unmarried women can only be addressed if polygyny is actively practiced. Dr. Le Bon, a French scholar, mentions: A return to polygyny, the natural relationship between sexes would remedy evils. e.g. prostitution venereal disease, abortion, misery of illegitimate children, adultery and even jealousy, since the disregarded wife (cheated wife in a monogamous marriage) would find consolation in her cognizance of not being secretly deceived by her husband. (i.e. she would know where he is) (Polygamy? p 17) Dr. Annie Besant says: “there is pretended monogamy in the west, but there is real polygamy without responsibility. The mistress is cast off when the man is weary of her and she sinks gradually to be the woman of the street; for the first lover has no responsibility for her future; and she is hundred times worse off than a sheltered wife and the mother in the polygamous home. When we see thousands of miserable women, who crowd the streets of western towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in western mouths to reproach Islam for its polygamy. It is better for a woman, happier for a woman, more respectable for a woman to live in Islamic polygamy united to one man only with the legitimate child in her arms and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced, cast out in streets perhaps with an illegitimate child, outside the pale of law, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood, despised by all”. (Polygamy? p 18) Reverend Canon Isaac Taylor, LL.D speaking on “Mohamedanism” at the church congress at Wolverhampton said: “owing to polygamy, Muslim countries are free from professional out-casts, a greater reproach to Christendom than polygamy in Islam. The strictly regulated polygamy of Moslem lands is infinitely less degrading to woman, less injurious to men than the promiscuous polygamy which is the curse of Christian cities, and which is absolutely unknown to Islam”. (Quoted in The Times, London, Saturday, 8th Oct, 1887, Polygamy? p 21) Source

Question Asallamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah. Dear brother.. I sincerely wish for your help on a problem that has been going on since my husband left us…myself and our two baby girls to go back to his own country in the Gambia nearly 7 months ago. I am a white, English revert of 5 years alhumdullilah. We have been married for 5 years and the marriage was problematic, violent at times, full of jealousy on both parties and I went through a period of depression, low self esteem and lack of confidence. I feel that we didn’t commicate properly, for instance, there were many times that my husband offended me, but rather that sort the problem out, he would get into a rage which was very physical…..to cut a long story short, after a few years, I started really rebelling and started behaving terribly. I felt he made me jealous, sometimes with my girlfreinds, sometimes he would bring womans phone numbers home from his University, I felt he was very charming toward the opposite sex, he had letters from previous girlfriends, and photo’s of them and when I asked him to destroy them, I got a punch on the back of the neck, I felt from that moment on I was not a priority. So I got revenge. I started being extreamily nice to his friends when they visited, I purposefully got mens phone numbers from my work….All to get his reaction…to see if he would also get jealous because he used to tell me I need a doctor because I’m sick in the head. The latest problem was in January…he asked me to take out a loan for £15,000 so we could all go back to his country to live, he said that I shouldn’t worry about paying the loan back as many people do this, it would just mean that I would be able to go back to the UK for 5 years…stupidly enough, I agreed…I thought the Islam was good in his country. All three of us went to the Gambia, but I had to come home and sort finances out here in the UK…. I told my freind what I had done…she told me that I can’t just take a loan and not pay it back, this would be fraud. I immeadiately called my husband in the Gambia and I aksed him to come home and help me pay off the loan, he said that he didn’t want to come back here because he dosn’t like the UK…he then asked if he could have a second wife. Due to the circumstances…I had to divorce him as I thought this was a terrible thing to do, asking me to take a loan and the him starting a new life with a new wife in his own country…meanwhile, I couldn’t work after this because I had to look after my daughters so I had to go on benefits, therfore, I couldn’t pay the loan back at all. The main problem here…Where I really need you help…I can’t get rid of this gulit brother…for the things I did to him…i.e making him jealous on purpose and rebelling. Sometimes I cannot sleep out of fear because I worry this will be sorted out in Allah’s court. My heart is crying out of fear as I type this. I don’t know what excuse I will give Allah. Since I have been on my own, I have been gaining so much knowledge…there are things I know now, but didn’t know then. I really do feel very regretful brother..that I was a terrible wife and maybe this is why he left us. I cannot even sleep at night because my mind keeps replaying all the bad thigs I did to him. Please forgive me…this is long winded but please advise me..Jahannam is full of woman mainly and I fear I’m one of them….But I’m desparate to be one of the lucky 7 to be under the shade of Allah’s throne. Jazakallah….kindly for your Patience in reading this Asallamu Alakikum wa Rahmatullah brother… Answer Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem Al Jawaab Billahit-Tawfeeq Respected Sister, Allah Ta’ala says in the Noble Quraan: ‘Say: O my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. For Allah forgives all sins. For He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’ (Surah Az-Zumar, verse 53) It is inevitable as a human being that we commit sins day in and day out. We should realize that we are not like the messengers and prophets of Allah whom Allah has made ma’sum (free of sins). Therefore, no matter how pious a person may seem, he shall never be free of sins. This is true for us as well. When a person realizes that he has sinned and this causes his heart to feel regret and remorse, that in itself is a great blessing from Allah. There are may people who in spite of committing major sins, feel no sorrow or anxiety in their hearts. This is because they have considered the sin as something light and have no desire for repenting towards Allah. So in your situation, you should firstly make lots of shukr to Allah for having mercy on you for granting the realization of your misdeeds. Another thing which you should be happy with yourself is the fact that you want to repent and feel guilt from the bottom of your heart. Now, you will need to make a sincere repentance to Allah, asking forgiveness for all of your misdeeds that you have done while you were with your husband. Make a firm intention to never repeat those things and to turn a new leaf, insha Allah, Allah shall accept your taubah. When this is done, then you should no longer cry and be depressed by the things you have done in the past towards your husband. Realize that the past is the past. Nothing can change the past but the future can be changed from the experience we gained from the past. That is how people become better individuals and progress in life. If we always dwell in the past, then how are we supposed to strive for a better future? Yes, it is good to cry over our sins but we should do it in moderation. In everything we do, needs moderation. Have hope in Allah that Allah has forgiven the past sins and is now looking forward to seeing a new you. If we carry on living in fear, depression and sadness, then the person who is benefiting from this situation is Shaithaan. He is happy because this servant of Allah is not getting anywhere in life. So don’t let Shaithaan take this opportunity to drag us further into our depression and sadness. Rather, find the courage and strength to move on with our life and oppose Shaithaan. Show him that we are tougher than that! Is Allah really that type of a being who will never forgive His slave’s sins even after sincere repentance? Read the verse above over and over again and then judge for ourselves. The verse states that Allah will forgive ALL sins (except for shirk). If a revert who has committed all of the major sins one can think of, reverts to Islam, regrets his past sins and then passes away, Allah will forgive not only the sins committed but change those sins into good deeds due to his taubah. Allah Most Exalted says: ‘Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for Allah will change the evil of such persons into good, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’ (Surah Al-Furqaan, verse 70) Just look at how merciful Allah is. Al-Ghafur (Most Forgiving) and Al-Raheem (Most Merciful). Have hope in Allah that Allah will forgive your sins and change those sins into your good deeds. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain. The key is taubah and dua. Carry on making dua that Allah includes us amongst the 7 fortunate people to be under His shade on the day whereby there is no shade except for His. Amin. And Allah knows best. Wassalam. ————————————– Binti Zahari Source

Forget having a "sisters' only day", if the report is true, looks like there won't even be the library to visit ) :

I wonder if this is an old story like the one about removing the tomb of our Rasool sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam in Madeenah... Nonetheless here are some pictures: Birth Place of Rasoolullaah sallallaahu 'alayhi waslallam Behind Safaa and Marwah, approximately 25 metres from the main road is the birthplace of Rasulullah (S.A. W). Currently a small library is situated on this place. An overview of the Haram: (Click on picture to enlarge) From Al-Miskeenah The Doorway to the Libarary I too remember the deep disappointment I felt when I could not enter. I sat just behind the door while my husband entered the library. One of the brothers was kind enough to get me a couple of books to look at and one of them happened to be the atlas of biography of Rasoolullaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam! I bought the book later to bring home..... Maybe they should have a time for sisters only.... (ummi taalib)

Kindness at Home Islam is a beautiful religion, full of wisdom and harmony. If this wonderful religion is followed properly then a typical Muslim would only be a great example to follow. The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (May Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "The most perfect believer in faith is the one who is best in moral character..." [At-Tirmithi] Spreading kindness at home: 'Aa'ishah may Allaah be pleased with her said: "The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (May Allaah exalt his mention ) said: '"When Allaah, The Almighty,Wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.'" According to another report: "When Allaah loves the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them." [ibn Abu Ad-Dunyaa] In other words, they start to be kind to one another. This is one of the means of attaining happiness at home, for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children, and it brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (May Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "Allaah loves kindness and rewards for it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else." Helping the wife with the housework: Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think that it will undermine their status and position if they help their wives with this work. The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (May Allaah exalt his mention ) however, used to "sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes." This is how 'Aa'ishah may Allaah be pleased with her responded when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (May Allaah exalt his mention ) used to do in his house; she described what she herself had seen. According to another report, she said: "He was like any other human being; he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself." If we Muslim men were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three things: 1. We would be following the example of the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (May Allaah exalt his mention). 2. We would be helping our wives. 3. We would feel more humble and down to earth. These narrations should act as a reminder to those men, who demand food instantly from their wives, when the pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed; they do not pick up the child or wait a little while for the food. Being affectionate towards and joking with the members of the family: Showing affection towards one's wife and children is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home. Thus the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (May Allaah exalt his mention ) advised Jaabir may Allaah be pleased with him to marry a virgin, saying, "Why did you not marry a virgin, so you could play with her and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh and she could make you laugh?" [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim] The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (May Allaah exalt his mention ) also said: "Everything in which Allaah's name is not mentioned is idleness and play, except for four things: a man playing with his wife..." [An-Nasaa'ee] "The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (May Allaah exalt his mention ) kissed Al-Hasan Ibn 'Ali, and Al-Aqra' Ibn Haabis At-Tameemi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' said: 'I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.' The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam (May Allaah exalt his mention ) looked at him and said: 'The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'" [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim] Islaaminfo

A woman’s heart is the same everywhere. We love. That’s what we do best. We nurture our families and give comfort and strength to the men we love. But we American women have been fooled into believing that we are happiest having careers, our own homes in which to live alone, and freedom to give our love away to whomever we choose. That is not freedom. And that is not love. Only in the safe haven of marriage can a woman’s body and heart be safe to love. Joanna Francis Writer, Journalist – USA

Your most valuable assets are your inner beauty, your innocence, and everything that makes you who you are. But I notice that some Muslim women push the limit and try to be as Western as possible, even while wearing a veil (with some of their hair showing). Why imitate women who already regret, or will soon regret, their lost virtue? There is no compensation for that loss. You are flawless diamonds. Don’t let them trick you into becoming rhinestones. Because everything you see in the fashion magazines and on Western television is a lie. It is Satan’s trap. It is fool’s gold. Joanna Francis Writer, Journalist – USA

“A WOMAN’S DEFICIENCY IN REASON & RELIGION” Shaykh Riyadhul Haqq on Lesson 52 (Darse Hadith), “Laws of Chronic Bleeding”, explains the following hadith which refers to women’s “deficiency in reason and religion”: Hadrat Abu Sa’eed Khudri R.A. reported; ‘(Once) the Messenger of Allah S.A.W. was going to the eidghah on the eve of Eid or Sacrificial Eid. (On the way) he passed by some women. Addressing them he said: “O women! Give away in Sadaqah for I see women in majority in hell.” The women enquired: “Why so, O Allah’s Messenger?” He replied: “This is because you invoke too many curses and are ungrateful to your husbands. (Further he observed) I have not seen anyone excel women in knocking out the reason of a very shrewd man even though they themselves are deficient in reason and religion.” The women submitted: “O Messenger of Allah! What is the deficiency in our reason and religion?” He said: “Don’t you know that the evidence of a woman is equal to half of a man’s evidence?” They submitted: “Yes, this is so.” He said: “This is because she is deficient in reason.” Further he observed: “Is it not a fact that while she is in menses, a woman (according to the order of Shari’at) neither offers salat nor observes fast?” The women submitted: “Yes, that is right.” “This is deficiency in her religion.” Shaykh Riyadhul Haqq explains: This missing of the salaat and the fast during menstruation is in fact the deficiency in the woman’s religion, and the testimony of a woman being similar to half of that of man, is the deficiency in her reasoning. This does not mean that men are inherently far more intelligent than women, i.e. all men are intelligent and all women are not, this is not so. With regards to her testimony being half of that of a man – and this in the Qur’an- in case one woman forgets, the other reminds her. This is because women suffer from emotional and psychological stresses and pressures in pregnancy and afterwards and during menstruation and bringing up children etc. The memory loss, erratic behaviour is part of their physiological makeup. They have no control over it. It does not mean the condition is permanent, but women do suffer from this, and since Allah put upon women these stresses and pressures of menstruation, pregnancy etc, the symptoms that go along with it are also imposed upon them by Allah. In His Wisdom Allah has made the testimony of women half of a man’s, and to object to the Qur’an is kufr. Further explained by Maulana Ashiq Elahi Madani in “A gift for Muslim Women”; The deficiency in a woman’s religion is that in her monthly courses she is deprived of prayer and fasting. Now a woman might raise a question in her heart as to what is the fault of women in this case? The menses are a decree of nature and Shari’at itself has forbidden them to observe prayer and fast during the menstrual period. The answer to this question is that no doubt the process is natural and the Shari’at too has restrained them from prayer and fasting in this period, yet the fact remains that they are deprived of the blessings of prayer and fasting during their menses. It is in deference to their natural course that they are exempted from the duty of offering prayer in the days of menstrual discharge. Now a woman may ask why has Allah put this restraint upon us? To raise such a question is tantamount to interfering with the wise scheme of Allah and objecting to His Providence and Will. This is similar to arguing that those who perform hajj will get the reward for it and those who cant, wont get the reward. Now if a man who cannot afford hajj raises the question: Why hasn’t Allah given me the means for hajj, it will be counted as a foolish question and an evidence of his deficient reasoning. The Qur’an says: “Do not wish for a thing in regard to which Allah has raised some above the others”

Aaameen, thumma aameen! Jazaakallaahu khayran for taking the time to post these kind words. Allah ta'ala grant complete shifa to your dear one and make this trial a means of attaining His everlasting pleasure, aameen. Please keep us and the entire ummah in your du'as. Respected brother, if there are any particular questions or advice you need, please do not hesitate to ask here or by using the "contact us" page. InshaAllah we will try our utmost to get answers from experienced scholars.

Polygamy in other Religions Polygamy According to Hindu Law There is a good deal of controversy as to whether polygamy is sanctioned by Hindu Law. Shri Krishna, a deity among Hindus, had hundred of wives. Vedic teachings permit unlimited number of wives, even in tens, thirteen’s and twenty-sevens at one time. According to Manu the Law on the subject is as follows: “For the first marriage of twice-born men (wives) of equal caste are recommended, but for those who through desire proceed (to marry again) the following females, (chosen) according to the (direct) order (of the castes) are most approved.” (Here follows the list of women who may be approved of) (Manu, iii 12). “It twice-born men wed women of their own and of other (lower castes) the seniority, honour, and habitation of those (wives) must be (settled) according to the order of the castes (Varna).” (Manu, ix 85). “If, after one damsel has been shown, another be given to the bridegroom, he may marry the both, for the same price that Manu ordained,” (Manu, viii 204). “Among all (twice-born men) the wife of equal caste alone (not a wife of a different caste by any means), shall personally attend her husband and assist him in his daily sacred rites.” (Manu, ix 86). “But he who foolishly causes that (duty) to be performed by another while his wife of equal caste is alive, is declared by the ancients (to be) as (despicable) as a Kandala (spring from the) Brahamana caste.” (Manu, ix 87). The above quotations clearly indicate that Manu sanctioned polygamy, “and it is now quite settled in the Courts of British India that a Hindu is absolutely without restriction as to the number of his wives, anyone may marry again without his wife’s consent, or any justification, except his own wish.” (Mayne, On Hindu Law and Usage, p. 113) Polygamy: According to Jewish Law In Exodus (Chapter 21, Verse 10) it is stated: “If he takes him ‘another wife’, her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage shall be not diminish.” Polygamy: According to Christianity The Christian writers say that “monogamy (i.e., marrying one wife only) is the divine ideal. The Creator constituted as a between one man and one woman (Gen. 2:18-24 Matt. 19:5; 1 Car. 6:i6) He preserves the number of males practically equal to the number of females.” (The Westminster Dictionary of Bible, 1944 edition) “And I gave thee (David) thy master’s house, and thy master’s ‘wives’ into thy bosom, and gave thee the House of Israel and of Juda.” (2 Sam. 12:8) How is it that God Himself gave him his ‘master’s wives’ if His intention was to keep the ‘one man with one woman’ rule? Even in the seventh generation after Adam we find that “Lamech took unto him two wives” (Gen. 4:19); Abraham had three wives; Jacob had 2 wives besides concubines; Moses did not forbid it, instead he brought Laws to regulate it, as has been mentioned in the previous heading. Christians try to overcome these difficulties implying that the previous prophets had made mistakes in marrying more than one wife. But the insurmountable difficulty faces them in case of Moses. Because Moses had brought a Law from God, and if it was God’s intention to make marriage ‘a between one man and one wife’, why did He give Moses regulations about polygamy? The above-mentioned Dictionary of Bible tries to gloss over this difficulty by saying, “Moses, who was correcting abuses, not suddenly abolishing them, did not forbid polygamy, but discouraged it.” It is a claim, which cannot be justified, because Moses himself married two wives: one was Zipporah, daughter of Jethro (known in Islamic language as Shuaib), the other was a Cushite woman whom Moses married in the 2nd year of the sojourn of the Israelites in the wilderness. (Num. 12:1) There is no mention anywhere in the scriptures or any other writing that Zipporah was not alive at that time. Thus far we discussed about Moses and the Prophets before him. Now we come to the prophets who came after this ‘supposed discouraging’. We find that polygamy continued to be practiced even after the time of Moses, as by Gideon, Elkanah, Saul, Rehoboam and countless others. For the details, see Judge. 8:30; I Sam. 1:2; II Sam. 12:8; 21:8. Prophet “David took him more concubines and wives out of Jerusalem.” (11 Sam. 5:13). Prophet Solomon “had seven hundred wives, princess, and three hundred concubines.” (I Kings 11:3) “And so it was understood by the leaders of Christendom that there is no intrinsic immorality or sinfulness in plurality of wives. One of the greatest fathers of the Christian Church (St. Augustine) has declared that polygamy is not a crime where it is a legal institution of a country, and the German reformers, even as late as the sixteenth century, allowed and declared valid the taking of a second or even a third wife, contemporaneously with the first, in default of issue, or any other cause.” (Ameer Ali, Life and Teachings, p. 220, and also Ameer Ali, Mohammedan Law, Vol. II p. 23) “When Christianity made its appearance in Rome, history shows that polygamy was recognized and the early Christian Emperors seem to have admitted its validity.” Says Ameer Ali: The Emperor Valentinian II, by an Edict, allowed all the subjects of the Empire, if they pleased, to marry several wives; nor does it appear from the ecclesiastical history of these times that the Bishops and the heads of the Christian made any objection to this law. Far from it, all the succeeding Emperors practiced polygamy, and the people generally were not remiss in following their example. Even the clergy often had wives. This state of the laws continued until the time of Justinian, who… resulted in their embodiment in the celebrated laws of Justinian. ‘But these laws owed little to Christianity, at least directly.’ The greatest adviser of Justinian was an atheist and a pagan. Even prohibition of polygamy by Justinian failed to check the tendency of the age. (Ameer Ali, Life and Teachings of Mohammad pp. 222-223) “(S.V. Mir Ahmad Ali, foot note 499) It should be mentioned here that Eastern Roman Emperor Justinian (527-565) was in the 6th century of Christian era; it means that up to 6th century there was no prohibition of polygamy in Christianity, at all. The following paragraphs from ‘An Apology for Mohammad and Koran’ (by John Davenport) show clearly that the Christian Leaders up to at least 16th century did not frown upon polygamy: St. Chrysostem, speaking of Abraham and Hagar, says, ‘These things were not then forbidden.’ So St. Augustine observes that ‘there was a blameless custom of one man having many wives, which at that time might be done in a way of duty, which now cannot be done but from licentiousness, because for the sake of multiplying posterity, no law forbade a plurality of wives. (See Grotius, De Jure, vol. i. p. 268 note) John Milton, who, in his ‘Treatise on Christian Doctrine’, after quoting various passages from the Bible in defence of the practice, says, ‘Moreover, God, in an allegorical fiction (Ezekiel, xxiii) represents Himself as having espoused two wives, Ahelah and Aholiah a mode of speaking which Jehovah would by no means have employed, especially at such length even in a parable, nor, indeed, have taken upon himself such a character at all, if the practice which it implied had been intrinsically dishonourable or shameful. On what grounds, then, can a practice be considered as so dishonourable or shameful which is prohibited to no one even under the Gospel; for that dispensation annuls none of the merely civil regulations, which existed previously to its introduction…. John Milton has earlier written in the same book (Treatise on Christian Doctrine) as follows: “In the definition, which I have given (i.e., of marriage) I have not said, in compliance with the common opinion, ‘of one man with one woman’, lest I should by implication charge the holy patriarchs and pillars of our faith, Abraham, and the others who had more than one wife at the same time, with habitual fornication and adultery, lest I should be forced to exclude from the sanctuary of God as spurious the holy offspring which sprang from them, yea, the whole of the sons of Israel, for whom the sanctuary itself was made. Source

InshaAllah in this topic we will look at how polygamy was practiced in various cultures and how Islam set limitations and conditions and prohibited injustice. Definition The practice of spouses, male or female, having multiple partners is referred to as polygamy. The practice of a male having more than one wife is known as polygyny and the practice of a female having more than one spouse is called polyandry. Hereunder we will use polygamy in the meaning of polygyny. Mockery and contempt for Polygamy Polygamy: an age old practice Islam came and banned the ill-treatment of women The Beauty of Islam Unfortunately the beauty of Islam often even escapes the Muslims!

Inter-Faith Marriages for Muslim Women Questions and statements such as the following are often raised by non-Muslims and unfortunately some Muslims too: Since Islam permits Muslim men to marry the "women of the book" i.e. Christian or Jewish, why are Muslim women not permitted to marry a non-Muslim men? Islam is biased against women! Women are treated unfairly in Islam! InshaAllah, in the following articles, these misconceptions will be cleared.