ummtaalib

My father has two wives: explaining the role of polygamy in Islam I was recently asked to photograph a Ramadan etiquette session. The lecturer encouraged questions about Islam and one of the women asked about polygamy in Islam, which reminded me of a conversation I had with one of my Christian friends. Anna was intrigued to know about my family and lifestyle. Somewhere in the middle of those chats, I told her that my father has two wives and my mother is the second one. The shock on her face was indescribable. She paused for a few moments and asked me: “Does your mother have any rights?” I laughed at her reaction, because she thought we were deprived of our rights and lived under subjugation, the way women and Islam are often portrayed in the media. I explained that some men have multiple affairs, behind closed doors, outside of wedlock. But it is these same individuals who cannot accept a man having more than one wife. What have been the consequences of such illicit affairs? Too often these dalliances result in illegitimate children and the women are little more than sex objects. What happens to these children when they grow up? I know my lineage and I am not ashamed to say I have two mothers because the whole family and society know about my father’s marriage. I would be extremely ashamed of my parents if I came to this world as the result of a hidden relationship. My friend was curious about how my father managed to share his time with both wives. I explained that he provided both his wives with a house and tries his best to fulfil all their needs, which is the primary condition of polygamy. It is a huge responsibility. She continued to bombard me with questions on the subject, but finally posed the most thoughtful question: “Who does he favour?” I was stuck, because I do not know how my father feels toward his wives; I do not know what is in his heart. This is why Allah says in the Quran, Verse 129: “You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire.” This refers to the emotional side of polygamy – we have no control over our hearts. I have a lot of friends and appreciate them, but I have that one special friend, with whom I share all of my secrets and sorrows. I give this friend the title “best friend”, although I do cherish all my companions. Islam did not invent polygamy but only regulated it in favour of women. Islam puts a limit on the number of wives a Muslim man can have. It is not obligatory, only permissible, if the man can fulfil the criteria, which is to be just with his wives socially, economically and even emotionally. If not – and really, who can? – he must remain with one bride. The purpose of allowing this practice is not to support a man’s personal ego, but to solve a major social problem, such as in historical times of battle and war, when men’s deaths meant that scores of women were left widowed or orphaned. Polygamy is not exclusive to Islam but, unfortunately, Prophet Mohammed (Peace be upon him) is often singled out as a polygamist, which is rather surprising. The Bible and Torah speak of polygamy. Prophet Ibrahim and Jacob (Peace be upon them both) had more than one wife. And let’s not forget Prophet Solomon (Peace be upon him) who had more than 700 wives. Asmaa Al Hameli (The National)

Why is not Polyandry Permitted for Women?

Question Can a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim man? Is it permissible and is there any leeway in Sharia for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man? Recently in the UK some Imams and so called ‘Islamic scholars’ have permitted interfaith marriages and claim it is permissible in Islam. Jazakallah. Answer In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. Ibn Sireen rahmatullahi alayh made a comprehensive and apt statement regarding authentic knowledge and its importance for a Muslim. He says: إن هذا العلم دين فانظروا عمن تأخذونه Translation: “This ilm (knowledge) IS deen (religion) so watch who you obtain your knowledge from.” A persons actions are directed by his knowledge and understanding. If one has the correct understanding of Deen, his actions will follow in the correct direction. If his understanding is incorrect, his actions too will be incorrect. It is therefore important to search for reliable and authentic Ulama and seek knowledge from them. The sign of a true Alim is mentioned in the Quran: Allah the Almighty states: إِنَّمَا يَخْشَى اللَّهَ مِنْ عِبَادِهِ الْعُلَمَاءُ (35:28) “Only those fear Allah, from among His servants, who have knowledge.” This means that for a person to be a true, reliable scholar of Deen, it is necessary that he have the fear and awareness of Allah the Almighty embedded in his heart. The knowledge and religious information one possesses is of no value without the consciousness and awareness of Allah Ta’ala. Amongst the various reasons for this, one is that a person who has the fear and awareness of Allah Ta’ala embedded in his heart, he will be honest and truthful when it comes to imparting his knowledge; he will not blur the lines between Haq and Batil (truth and falsehood) for his gain or another person’s gain. A person who fears Allah will not say anything about Shariah he does not know. He exercises extreme caution in issues of Shariah. The “Islamic scholars” you refer to in the question are not the type of scholars Allah refers to in the Quran. Being scholars does not mean they are Ulama with authority on Shariah. Such people should be vetted by Ulama of Haq to fall in the category of Ulama. Any true and reliable scholar would know that it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man of any other faith.[ii] Allah Ta’ala has designed some laws different for men and women. Among them are polygamy and marriage to non-Muslims. Allah Ta’ala is our Creator and He knows what is best for a male and female. He knows the temperament and nature of both and accordingly designated laws that are best for them. We are the slaves of Allah Ta’ala and simply submit to the laws of Allah Ta’ala. The ‘scholars’ you refer to claim that the Quran has not prohibited Muslim women from marrying non-Muslim men. Moreover, if men are permitted to marry Christian or Jewish women (Ahlul Kitab) then why can’t women? Both substantiations lack academic merit. Any student having basic understanding of law would know that one is a rule and the other is an exception to the rule. The general rule is that Muslims (both male and female) are only permitted to wed people of the same faith (fellow Muslims). This ‘rule’ is based on the following verse of Surah Al-Baqarah; Allah the Almighty states: وَلَا تَنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنَّ وَلَأَمَةٌ مُؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكَةٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ وَلَا تُنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُوا وَلَعَبْدٌ مُؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْ (2:221) “Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you.” The exception to this rule is the verse in which Allah the Almighty permits men to marry the women of Ahlul Kitab (Christians and Jews) i.e.: وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ (5:5) “Lawful unto you in marriage are chaste women who are believers and chaste women among the Ahlul Kitab (people of the book).” In addition, in the same verse Allah the Almighty orders any Muslim man wishing to marry a kitaabi that he must hand over to her the mahr (dowry) that she is owed. “When you have given their due Mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” (5:5) Mahr (dowry) is given to the wife from the husband; there is no difference of opinion in this matter and the jurists of the Ummah are unanimous on this fact. This clearly indicates and elucidates the fact that the permission granted in the abovementioned verse is restricted to Muslim men. In another place, when Allah Ta’ala is talking about the Muhaajiraat (women from Makkah who have accepted and migrated to Madinah) He states: فَلَا تَرْجِعُوهُنَّ إِلَى الْكُفَّارِ لَا هُنَّ حِلٌّ لَهُمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحِلُّونَ لَهُنَّ (60:10) “Do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful [wives] for them, nor are they lawful [husbands] for them.” The prohibition; in this verse; of returning Muslim women to their former husbands is general, whether the husbands are from the Ahlul Kitab (people of the Book) or polytheists. Simply put, a Muslim woman cannot be with a non-Muslim husband. There has been consensus on this issue and this is the unanimous view of the scholars from the golden era of the Sahabah Radhi Allahu anhum. Imam Bukhari radhi Allahu anhu has dedicated a whole chapter to this situation in his canonical compilation of Ahadith; Sahih al Bukhari.[iii] And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Saanwal ibn Muhammad, Student Darul Iftaa UK Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb صحيح مسلم، ج1، ص14، دار إحياء التراث العربي [ii] وَلَا يَجُوزُ تَزَوُّجُ الْمُسْلِمَةِ من مُشْرِكٍ وَلَا كِتَابِيٍّ كَذَا في السِّرَاجِ الْوَهَّاجِ ( الفتاوى الهندية، دار الفكر، ج1، ص 282) وَمِنْهَا إسْلَامُ الرَّجُلِ إذَا كَانَتْ الْمَرْأَةُ مُسْلِمَةً فَلَا يَجُوزُ إنْكَاحُ الْمُؤْمِنَةِ الْكَافِرَ؛ لِقَوْلِهِ تَعَالَى: {وَلا تُنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُوا} [البقرة: 221] وَلِأَنَّ فِي إنْكَاحِ الْمُؤْمِنَةِ الْكَافِرَ خَوْفَ وُقُوعِ الْمُؤْمِنَةِ فِي الْكُفْرِ (بدائع الصنائع، ج2، ص271، دار الكتب العلمية) [iii] بَابُ إِذَا أَسْلَمَتِ المُشْرِكَةُ أَوِ النَّصْرَانِيَّةُ تَحْتَ الذِّمِّيِّ أَوِ الحَرْبِيِّ وَقَالَ عَبْدُ الوَارِثِ: عَنْ خَالِدٍ، عَنْ عِكْرِمَةَ، عَنْ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ: «إِذَا أَسْلَمَتِ النَّصْرَانِيَّةُ قَبْلَ زَوْجِهَا بِسَاعَةٍ حَرُمَتْ عَلَيْهِ… (صحيح البخاري، ج7، ص49، دار طوق النجاة) Source

Masjid Al-Manaaratayn This is where the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam and Companions RA passed by the rotting carcass of a sheep. When the Companions RA held their noses, the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam remarked, "The world is of less value to Allah than this sheep to its owner." The Masjid is on the way south from Madinah to the 'Aqeeq Valley (From "Memories of the Luminous City")

Masjid An-Nour (From "Memories of the Luminous City") (Click on picture to enlarge)

Many Christians & Jews don't know that Muslims believe in their prophets and holy books. Muslims believe that the Bible and the Torah were changed by people for their personal benefits. This is why God sent Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, not with a new religion, but to correct the people who had gone astray, those who were worshipping idols and being misguided by their forefathers. Islam is the last message to the world and God wants the miracle of Islam to be witnessed by the people from Prophet Muhammad's, peace be upon him, time till the day of Judgment. The miracle is the Qu'ran, Muslims holy book. Why is the Qur'an a miracle ? 1- The Qu'ran is an untouchable book : After 1400 years, from the begining of Prophet Muhammad's, peace be upon him, message, the Qu'ran has not changed in any way, even as a matter of one charachter. Prooving this is very easy, since you can compare all the versions of the Qu'ran everywhere in the world and you will find them all the same. God ensured that this book would be saved from any changes attempted by human beings. God said in the Qur'an : " We have, without doubt, sent down the Message; and We will assuredly guard it (from corruption)" 2- The Qu'ran contains many scientific facts that have been discovered recently using computer systems and microscopes. Many scientists have attended conferences dealing with this subject and have themselves accepted Islam. These same scientists have said that it is not possible that Muhammad, peace be upon him, an illiterate man, who lived 1400 years ago, could have discovered such things on his own. God said in the Qur'an : "Soon will We show them Our Signs in the (furthest) regions (of the earth), and in their own souls, until it becomes manifest to them that this is the Truth. Is it not enough that thy Lord doth witness all things" ( Quran 41:53 ) 3- The Qu'ran, which is in Arabic, was revealed to the people of the Arabian Gulf who invented the Arabic language. Through Muhammad, peace be upon him, Allah challenged the people who claimed that a human wrote it to emulate such a book. No one from the time of the Prophet till now could write a book that contained the many scientific facts, miracles and similar effects on people that the Qu'ran did and still does today. 4- The Qu'ran had not one Arabic grammar mistake, which was recognized by the disbelievers at the time of the Prophet, who were the founders of the Arabic language. These are a few examples of why Muslims believe in the Qur'an. Here are some verses from God to Muslims encouraging them to invite the People of the Book ( Jews and Christians to Islam ): God said : {Say: "O People of the Book! Why reject ye the Signs of Allah, when Allah is Himself witness to all ye do?} (Quran 3:98) God tell Muslims to say : {..'We believe in that which had been revealed to us and revealed to you, and our God and your God is One, and unto Him we surrender} (Quran 29:46) islaaminfo

Zaitoon (Olive) is Cure for Seventy Diseases By: Dr. M.Laiq Ali Khan Zaitoon (Olive) the sign of peace and friendship in this world has its description in Holy Qur’an Allah Taala says: “By the fig and olive, And the mount of Sinai, And the city of security, We have indeed created man in the best of moulds, Then do we abase him (to be) the lowest of low, Except such as believe and do righteous deeds for they shall have a reward unfailing, What then, can after this, make you deny the last judgement, Is not Allah the wisest of judges” (The Fig, Surah 95) The plant of olive goes up to the height of 3 metres, leaves are bright green and very attractive and the fruits are of bright bluish or violet colour, possesses a metallic taste. It is known from old ages. During the excavation of ancient Egyptian graves, vessels full of olive oil were found with other articles. According to the scholars of Hadith, on subsidence of Toofan-E-Nooh, when water level came down, the first thing on the earth that was seen, was the olive plant. The plant is extensively found in Asia minor, Palestine, Roman territory, Greece, Portugal, Spain, Turkey, Italy, North Africa, Algeria, Tunisia, California in America, Mexico, Peru and South zone of Australia. Usually it is imported from Spain, Italy, France, Turkey and Greece. Though olive fruits are very nutritious it is not usually eaten due to its metallic taste. Rather pickles of its fruits are largely consumed in Europe. The fruits preserved in vinegar is imported from Greece and liked very much in Europe and in Arabian countries. Olive oil is a good preservative for other eatables too. Sardine and other fishes are tinned and preserved in olive oil. The smoke-less burning of olive oil is a peculiar feature, which produces a bright light. Holy Qur’an stresses the importance of Zaitoon on several occasions: (141-M-AlInaam-6), (99-K-AlInaam-6), (11-K-AlNahl-16), (AlNoor-35), (Moominoon). Hazrat Sayyed Al-Ansari narrates that the Prophet (Pbuh) said “Eat the olive oil and massage it over your bodies since it is a holy (mubarak) tree.” (Tirmizi, Ibn Maja) Hazrat Alqama Bin Amir narrates that Prophet (Pbuh) said, “ There is olive oil for you, eat it, massage over your body, since it is effective in Heamorrhoids (Piles).” (Ibn Al-Jozi, Zanbi) Hazrat Aqba Bin Amir narrates that the Prophet (Pbuh) stated, “You have the olive oil from this Holy (mubarak) tree, treat yourself with this, since it cures the Anal fissure (Basoor).” Khalid Bin Saad narrates “I came to Madinah with Ghalib Bin Al Jabr. Ghalib became ill during the journey. Ibn Abi Ateeq came to see him and told a narration from Hazrat Aisha that the Prophet (Pbuh) told about the cure in Kalonji. We crushed a few seeds of Kalonji and mixed it with olive oil and dropped in both nostrils, after which Ghalib became healthy.” (Ibn Maja, Bukhari) Hazrath Abu Hurairah (t) narrates that the Prophet (Pbuh) stated, “ Eat the olive oil and apply it (locally), since there is cure for seventy diseases in it, one of them is Leprosy.” (Abu Naim) Hazrat Zaid Bin Arqam narrates “ We have been directed by the Prophet (Pbuh) that we should treat the Pleurisy with Qust-e-Behri (Qust Sheerin) and olive oil.” (Tirmizi, sanadeAhmed, Ibn Maja) Olive oil has a place in Govt Pharmacopoca of USA and Britain (British Pharmacopoca). Both of these countries have given prime importance to olive oil for the treatment of various ailments and have fixed standard parameters to evaluate its purity. It contains Palmatic Acid, Oleic Acid, Linoleic Acid, Steanic Acid, Myristic Acid and Glycerides. It is not dissolved in water but in Alcohol, Ether, Chloroform and Liquid Paraffin. The adulterant very often used in the olive are of the seeds of Tea Plant, Arachis oil in the market samples of olive oil. Sometimes Machine Gun oil and refined Mobile oil are also found. Olive oil is extracted from the ripened fruits. The unripe and over ripe fruits contain less amount of the oil. The fruits are processed three times. Successively, the first round oil is the best in quality, golden in colour, with a light fragrance and known as virgin oil. Some varieties of olive oil remained unchanged in its effectiveness for years together. It contains therapeutic potential even if it is a thousand years old. Despite the prime importance and holiness given by Qur’an and Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) no work has been done to find out its efficacy for the ailments other than the Haemorrhoids, Anal fissure, Skin diseases, pleurisy and leprosy, which are already described by the Prophet (Pbuh) , whereas the Prophet (Pbuh) himself says us that it contains cure for seventy diseases. According to Ibn Al-Qayyim the red coloured oil is better than blackish one. It is an exhilarant, glows up the facial complexion, provides prevention against poisons, regulates the digestive process, expels the intestinal parasites, makes the hair lustrous and minimises the ageing problems. The massage of olive oil with common salt over the gums is a remedy for several diseases of gums and teeth. The local application of olive oil or the water extracted from the crushed olive oil leaves is effective on boils, rashes and itching. The chronic ulcers and boils, which show difficult healing condition, are healed up with the use of olive oil locally. According to Zahbi it strengthens the hairs and body, hence could be used as a good tonic in old age problems and to delay the ageing process. It is also useful in sexual weakness. Combination of normal saline with olive oil is highly effective in burns cases. The decotion of olive leaves in water is effective against mouth and lips ulcers and allergic dermatitis also. The concentrated aquous extract of olive leaves and fruits is very effective against dental cavities and application of this solution shows very good effects on Leukoplaquea in mouth. This solution is applied with vinegar on Alopecia, grows the hair and removes the Alopecia. It is also stated that the local application of this extract removes the scars of small pox and boils. The powder of seeds mixed with butter is effective in brittle nails. The pickles prepared from olive fruits is a good appetizer and removes constipation. The smashed leaves are applied locally to check excessive perspiration. The water extracted from the leaves with honey is used as Ear drops and effective in various Ear ailments. The oil procured by burning of olive wood is effective against all fungal infection viz, Ringworm, T.versicolor etc. in addition to Eczema, Psoriasis, Dandruff and Alopecia. The local application of olive oil on scalp is highly effective against dandruff. It grows the hairs and checks, the loss of hair. The application of olive oil in eyes relieves the inflammation. The massage of olive oil over the body tones up the muscles and organs, it relieves muscular pains. Some physicians also advocate the massage of olive oil for epilepsy. It relieves the Sciatic and arthritis. The ointment prepared from olive oil are very good healing agents. It heals the sinus and fistula very quickly. 25ml of olive oil mixed with 250ml of barley water, if taken internally, is highly effective against chronic constipation. It is good Diuretic, hence is used in Ascites. It also removes the kidney stones. A conventional regimen is also available comprising of olive oil and other herbal drugs having potential against the Gall bladder stones. It is stated that this regimen dissolves and expels the Gall bladder stone. In view of the researchs carried out in USA and England, it is concluded that it is a good nourishing diet during the ailments of kidney, where nitrogen containing food/proteins in take is contra indicated. Since, the Prophet (Pbuh) stated that it is a good remedy for Anal fissure, hence for the same complaint patients were advised to take two spoonful of olive oil at bedtime and an ointment was applied on fissure locally at retiring and in morning, prepared from 8 spoonfuls of olive oil and 2 spoonfuls of ground henna leaves. This showed very good effects against the problem. It is a good tonic for hair and maintains the lustre. Its combination with other prescribed drugs of Tibb-al-Nabwi is a good remedy for Psoriasis and Eczema. The impressions of several doctors practising in middle east and North Africa reveal that no case was detected of Gastro Intestinal Carcinoma, among those who were used to consuming olive oil. Japanese doctors also endorse this fact and have the opinion that olive oil prevents the incidence of Carcinoma in G.I.T. The Prophet (Pbuh) stated that it is a good remedy for intestinal inflammations. Therefore it was used in the cases of G.I.T ulcers and found very much effective. It is also observed that no remedy equates the benefits of olive oil in hyper acidity and gas troubles. The Prophet (Pbuh) recommended the use of olive oil in Pleurisy. Keeping this in view olive oil was administered in various diseases of Respiratory tract and it was observed that the regular users of olive oil were least affected with common cold and coryzha and pneumonia. The clinical experiences of well qualified and highly established doctors in the profession who take a keen insight in Prophet’s medicine reveal that olive oil is a good supportive treatment in Tubercular infection of either sites. According to a narration of Kahlid Bin Saad in Ibn Maja, one spoonful of Kalonji was pulverised and mixed with 12 spoonful of olive oil. This suggestion was dropped into the nostrils morning and evening for the cases of chronic cold and epistaxis. The results were found highly positive. The above article was originally published in the magazine “Islamic Voice” in February 2000. eathalal.com

What an honour MashaAllah! Allah ta'ala grant acceptance and make it a means of attaining His pleasure, aameen. Jazaakallaahu khayran for the update and I too was able to download the PDF without any problems. The idea of one long downloadable PDF is great. InshaAllah I too need to make time to study this subject properly (though in the past i was put off by my weakness in maths when i first came across a couple of inheritance books)

Marrying non-Muslims. The Legal Ruling Question Could someone from amongst your group (Please) put together a reply that gives the reasons why our young women may not marry outside Islam and send it to the gentleman (also covering his question)? Please keep me in copy as I am interested in forwarding it to a young Muslim friend who is ‘marrying’ an Irish Catholic man who refuses to convert to Islam. ANSWER In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, Inter-marriage between Muslims and non-Muslims is something that has been clearly prohibited in the Qur’an and Sunnah, thus not permissible in any way. The only exception to this general rule is the marriage of Muslim men with Christian and Jewish girls, and that also with certain conditions. Allah Most High says: “Do not marry unbelieving women until they believe. A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though if she attracts you. And not marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe. A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though if he attracts you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire but Allah beckons by His grace to the garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His signs clear to mankind; that they may receive admonition.” (al-Baqarah, 221) The above verse of the Holy Qur’an along with many other statements of the Qur’an and Sunnah clearly mention the impermissibility of Muslims marrying non-Muslims. Therefore, a marriage between a Muslim and someone from another religion will not be lawful or even valid according to Islam. The exception, however, is mentioned in the following verse: “(Lawful unto you in marriage are chaste women who are believers and chaste women among the people of the book.” (al-Ma’idah, 5) Thus, it would be permissible, in principle, for Muslim men to marry women from the people of the book (ahl al-Kitab) namely Christian and Jewish girls. However, this is also subjected to certain conditions, as will be mentioned later. The reason behind this prohibition (of inter-marriage between Muslims and non-Muslims) is that, marital relationships demand mutual love, affection and intimacy, and without this, the purpose of marriage is left unfulfilled. If such close relationship of love and intimacy is established with a non-Muslim, it may emotionally incline a Muslim towards disbelief (kufr) or, at the least; abhorrence of Kufr and Shirk may not remain in the heart. Consequently, it may lead one to disbelief and eventually the fire of Hell. This is why Allah Almighty said towards the end of the verse of Surah al-Baqarah quoted above: “Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire, but Allah beckons by His grace to the garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His signs clear to mankind; that they may receive admonition.” ( 221) (See: Ma’arif al-Qur’an, 1/ 540) Therefore, the fear that a Muslim man or woman may well be affected with his/her partner’s religion, thus go on to a path that leads to the fire of hell, is the main cause for this prohibition. Hence, a Muslim woman will not be allowed whatsoever to marry anyone besides a Muslim man, and even if she did, the marriage will not be valid in Islam. Similarly, a Muslim man will not be allowed to marry any non-Muslim girl, such as a Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, or any other non-Muslim woman. However, it will be permissible for him to marry a Christian or a Jewish girl. This is explained in the following section. Marrying Christian and Jewish girls As stated previously, Islam has allowed Muslim men to marry women from the people of the book (ahl al-Kitab). This permission is explicitly mentioned in the verse of the Qur’an already quoted: “(Lawful unto you in marriage are chaste women who are believers and chaste women among the people of the book.” (al-Ma’idah, 5) However, there are certain points that need to be taken into consideration here: Firstly, the exception of Christian and Jewish girls is because the difference in belief between the people of the book and Muslims is relatively lesser and lighter as compared with other non-Muslims. They are all monotheistic religions and known as the Abrahamic faiths. The basic difference between Islam and the other two religions is the belief in the last Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace). Therefore, the fear and danger of corruptibility is less as compared to marrying with women from other faiths, thus Islam gave this permission for Muslim men to marry Christian and Jewish girls. A question may arise here, that if the difference between Muslims and people of the book is considered to be lighter as compared to other faiths, then why is it unlawful for Muslim girls to marry Christian and Jewish men? The answer to this question is that, women are somewhat weak and emotional by nature. Then, the husband has also been given a caretaking and controlling role over the wife. As such, it is very likely that the Muslim wife may fall prey and become impressed with her husband’s faith. The chances of the husband becoming affected by his wife’s faith are remote, thus the difference between the two situations is clear. Moreover, by marrying a Christian or a Jewish man, the status of the Muslim wife would be affected, for the wife normally takes the nationality and status given by her husband’s law. A Christian or a Jewish woman marrying a Muslim man would be expected eventually to accept Islam, while the possibility of a Muslim woman changing her faith to that of her husband is very likely. Therefore, only Muslim men were given this permission of marrying women from the people of the book. Secondly, women who are Christians and Jews merely by name, and do not really believe in any religion, like a large number of people in the west, cannot be termed as people of the book (ahl al-Kitab). They are atheist in reality and it will not be permissible for Muslim men to marry them. Therefore, one must first make sure that the woman is truly a believing Christian or Jew, and then consider contracting marriage with them. Thirdly, it should be remembered that the meaning of the permission of marrying Christian and Jewish women is simply that, if a marriage contract was performed with them, it would be valid according to Islam and the children born out of this wedlock will be considered legitimate. However, there are various narrations that establish its undesirability. A Muslim man is advised in the Hadith to select a life partner who fully observes the injunctions of Islam, so that she becomes a means of attaining piety. If that is the case, then marrying Christian and Jewish girls would be disliked. This is the reason why Sayyiduna Umar ibn al-Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) prevented many such marriages in his lifetime because of what he had seen of the corruption that resulted in Iraq and Syria. (See: Muhammad ibn al-Hasan, Kitab al-Athar). Finally, this permission is only when one is confident that he himself or his children will not be affected by this marriage. In the early days, Muslims were duly equipped with adequate Islamic knowledge and an unshaken commitment towards their religion. As such, there was no risk of the husband being affected by his wife’s religion. Rather, the wife would see the glory of Islam, thus enter into the fold of Islam. Therefore, if a Muslim male is confident that marriage with a Christian or Jewish girl will have no affect on his and his children’s Islamic identity and commitment, then there is no bar against such marriages. However, if he is not so confident, he must avoid entering into such marriages. And Allah Knows Best [Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam Darul Iftaa Leicester , UK Source

I think aishazanap is looking for gift giving traditions in different countries....the only ones i can think of are non Muslim traditions/customs at Christmas, birthdays, valentines etc.

Interfaith Marriages: Why can’t a Muslim Woman marry a non-Muslim Man? By Ebrahim Saifuddin People often ask the question that if Muslim men are allowed to marry non-Muslim women, why Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-Muslim men. Firstly it is important to point out that Muslim men are not allowed to marry any non-Muslim women. The only people with whom the Muslim man is allowed to marry are from the People of the Book i.e. those who have faith in the previous revelations informed by Allah (swt). “… (lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time, – when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).” – [Qur'an 5:5] Also from the Qur'anic Ayah it is important to note that lawful are not all the women among the People of the Book but only the chaste ones. Apart from these, a Muslim man is not allowed to marry any other woman. Hence the question asked by people should be rephrased into ‘why can’t a Muslim woman marry from among the People of the Book?’ Islam being a complete way of life gives us the minutest details of how to live our lives and the roles we have in society. Man by nature tends to be dominant and woman by nature tends to be compromising. This is a fact which cannot be denied. Some women might claim that they are more dominant in their marriage etc and hence it is not always true that men are dominant. Even if I do agree that there are some women who are more dominant as compared to their husbands, these still are rare cases. Like two in a thousand and thus a minority. Islam is a universal religion and thus needs to secure people at a global level and thus in certain issues its rulings are based on the majority rather than minority. One might ask here how Islam is securing the woman by its rulings on this matter. Primarily Islam teaches us to believe in all the prophets علیھم السلام that were sent by Allah(swt) to Mankind. Thus a Muslim by default believes in Jesus and Moses علیھما السلام. On the other hand, the Christian does not believe in Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and the Jew does not believe in Muhammad ﷺ nor Jesus علیہ السلام as prophets of Allah(swt). This is a very important point because a Muslim man would by default respect the prophet which his non-Muslim wife believes in but a non-Muslim man would not believe or respect the prophet which his wife believes in. After the couple has children, the non-Muslim wife would teach their child to love and respect the prophet she believes in. The Muslim man would certainly not object if his child is being taught to love Jesus or Moses علیھما السلام. On the other hand the non-Muslim husband might object when his Muslim wife would teach their child about Islam. It is highly likely for the man to teach his children the religion he follows. A non-Muslim man with a Muslim wife would then teach their child to be a Christian or Jew. This would mean that the mother would have to be a witness to her child being led onto the wrong path. In such a situation the mother might retaliate by teaching her child the Islamic values and principles. This in turn would lead the relations between the spouses to turn sour. This could also lead to domestic violence. The United States is a country which is most vociferous regarding rights of individuals. In a survey carried out by The Commonwealth Fund in 1998 and it was seen that there was an estimated 960,000 cases of domestic violence. They stated that around one-third of the American women report being physically or sexually abused by their husbands or boyfriends. Moreover they add that around thirty percent of the American people claim that they know of a woman who was abused physically by her husband or boyfriend. These are the realities which one tends to overlook when they speak about Islam being unfair to the Muslim woman. Further the non-Muslim spouse could end up divorcing his wife, which would lead to trauma for the Muslim woman and the children. The non-Muslim husband would naturally not recognize Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to be a prophet of Allah(swt) and might object to the Islamic practices of his wife. He could object to the hijab which the wife would wear. He could want the wife to dress more ‘moderately’ especially when accompanying him to a party. Moreover he could ask the wife to sit with him while he consumes alcohol. The husband could want the wife to serve alcohol for him and a couple of friends after dinner. It is a huge sin in Islam for a person to have anything to do with alcohol. Moreover the husband could want to eat pork for lunch or dinner and could ask the wife to cook it for him. Again this is something not allowed for a Muslim to do and thus would cause trouble in the family. The husband could find it okay for him to drink where his wife is offering prayers. It could be okay for the husband to keep a pet dog inside the house. This is another thing which is not allowed by Islam but the non-Muslim husband might not understand it. As it can be seen, there can be a lot of issues which can arise between the marriage of a Muslim woman and non-Muslim man. It is also important to point out that the non-Muslim man could later on, either of himself or out of pressure from his family, compel the Muslim woman to accept the faith he follows. On the other hand, a Muslim man respects the People of the Book and is under strict instructions from Allah(swt) not to compel his wife to change her faith. Hence the rights of a non-Muslim wife are secure and protected in the house of a Muslim man whereas it is not necessarily the same in a vice versa situation. One might say that it could also be possible for a non-Muslim wife to disrespect the Muslim husband’s beliefs as well. What is interesting is that such a case is highly unlikely to occur because of the teachings present in the books of the People of the Book. The Bible tells us that when Eve committed the sin, the punishment she received from God was: To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” – [Genesis 3:16] Thus to the women of the People of the Book, their scripture teaches that their husband will rule over them and they are not to speak against them as the husbands are given this position by God. It should be noted here that such a concept does not exist in Islam and both Adam and Eve are blamed equally for the sin they committed. For details on that issue refer to my article “Original Sin or Original Forgiveness – What is the lesson?” Now let us further see what the religious scriptures, of the People of the Book, teach. They state that the wives are to submit to their husbands just as they submit to God. The wife is told to submit to their husbands just the way the church submits to Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. – [Ephesians 5:22-24] Another verse that is important to mention is as such: Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. – [1 Peter 3:1-2] As one can see that the women of the People of the Book are told to completely submit to their husbands regardless of whether the husband believes in the word or not. To them the husband has been given a position by God to rule over them. Thus it is highly unlikely for her to disrespect her husband. At the same time the non-Muslim man comes from the line of thought that they are in this world to rule over their wives and that their wives should submit to them like they would submit to God. Hence it is highly likely for there to be clashes between the marriages of non-Muslim men with Muslim women. However this would further give rise to another question which people could ask. They could say that Islam teaches the wife to be respectful towards her husband so then there should be no clash between a Muslim wife and her non-Muslim husband. This line of argument would hold to be true only if the husband was given a status above God in Islam. That is of course not the case and Islam asks for complete submission to Allah(swt) and then come other responsibilities. Islam stresses on Muslims to respect their parents yet Muslims are not supposed to follow their parents’ orders if they are contrary to the teachings of Islam. Similarly a Muslim woman is not to follow what her husband says if it is contrary to the teachings of Islam. Thus keeping all the factors in mind any Muslim woman would agree that she is better off marrying a Muslim man as opposed to a non-Muslim man. Allah(swt) has Absolute Wisdom and thus He has set laws which are only better for us. We, being humans, have limited wisdom which is negligible in front of Allah(swt) and thus at times we might not be able to comprehend the true reason why certain things are forbidden in Islam. Allah(swt) does know that many would not recognize that which is bad for us and thus He says in the Quran: But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not. – [Quran 2:216] In the end, it is important for us to realise that as we accept Allah(swt) as our Creator, we bring belief on to what He has decreed for us and accept that to be in our best interest. Thus we hear and we obey. The reasons which were stated in the article are not absolute but the wisdom of Allah(swt) is Absolute. Thus, hypothetically, if we are to say that all the reasons stated above are invalid today, still the ruling of Allah(swt) remains and we are to obey it.

PRIVACY WITH STRANGERS Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam said: “A person may not sit in privacy with a strange woman except that any of her Mahram (close family members whom she is not allowed to marry) be present with her.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

PURDAH EVEN FROM THE BLIND Hazrat Umme-Salma and Hazrat Maymoona (RA) were once in the presence of Rasulullah sallallahu 'alayhiw asallam when a blind Sahabi, Hazrat Abdullah bin Ummi-Maktoom (RA) came to him, upon which Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam instructed them to observe Purdah. They replied: “O Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam is he not blind?” (in other words, why should we make Purdah from a blind man?) Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam answered: “Are the two of you blind?” (Tirmidhi) N.B. Thus women are not allowed to look at strange men, even though they are within the purdah themselves. Where the Qur’aan Majeed prohibits men from gazing at women, in the very next verse women are also instructed to keep their gazes low from strange men. (Refer to Surah 24, Verse 31.) It is thus unlawful for them to look at any strange man. Many women are totally ignorant of this Mas’ala. Many are there who peep and stare away at strange men from the slits of their veils (Niqaab), thinking that none is looking at them, but remember Allah is Ever-Present, Ever-Watchful. EFFECTIVE REMEDIES FOR SPITITUAL MALADIES Arifbillah Hazrat Moulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb

BROTHER IN LAW IS MAUT (DEATH) Rasulullah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam said: “Abstain from the company of strange women..” One Sahabi (RA) asked Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam regarding the brother-in-law (being in privacy with his sister-in-law, his brother’s wife). Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam replied; “The brother-in-law is (like) Maut,” (Bukhari,-Muslim) N.B. Included with the brother-in-law are his cousins, nephews and uncles as well as other close relatives of the husband. “Like Maut” means, just as a person flees and fears Maut, so too should he fear the privacy of such people with his wife. Allah forbid! The consequences of this can be terrible for the entire family, possibly for generations to come? EFFECTIVE REMEDIES FOR SPITITUAL MALADIES Arifbillah Hazrat Moulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb

Advice to Males Intending Polygamy It should be understood that it is very painful, difficult, and traumatic for women, especially in those societies where polygamy is hardly practiced to accept their husbands taking another wife. The influence of alien culture has so strongly overwhelmed them that there is not only a fear of ruining their marriages but also a chance of them losing their Imam. Therefore, it is of utmost importance that this matter be approached correctly and dealt with caution, care and diplomacy. Before thinking of a second marriage consider the following: Consider the responsibility which comes along with a second marriage. Reflect whether you are able to fulfil the Shar’i obligations of both wives in a fair and just manner. Seek advice from your local Ulama and senior members of his family and community. Seek advice from those already in a polygamous marriage. Be able to adjust your routine and daily schedule. Make all arrangements to ensure all wives receive their rights. Possess a strong emotional state of mind to be able to handle the sensitiveness of all his wives. Never contemplate polygyny as an experimental exercise. Never consider polygyny to spite the first wife. Take note that the permission of polygyny should not be abused. Take into account the feelings and sentiments of the first wife and endeavour to provide every reassurance, support and comfort to her. Be understanding, tolerant, caring and patient towards his first wife who is facing a most tumultuous period in her life that could cause her to have bouts of irrational behaviour from time to time. Consider the impact it will have on his immediate family and what measures he has in place to support them through possible turmoil. These are some points which need to be carefully considered before taking a second wife. Advice to a Woman who’s Husband Seeks a Second Marriage. A husband intending a second marriage could be very challenging for a woman. It could have disastrous consequences however, it is left up to an individual what she wants to make out of it. Allah Ta’ala does not burden his slaves with that which they cannot bear. Depending on the way she response to her husband’s intentions of a second marriage so will the outcome be. If she response positively the husbands second marriage could prove to be for fruitful for her too. We all know the busy and hectic lives women lead. From caring for the husbands needs to the kids, doing the household chores and her personal needs. A co-wife could prove to help and assist in her having more time for herself and her kids. Also at times the husband could be very demanding. After a long days work (of a woman) for a woman to still give full attention to a demanding husband could also be very difficult causing much frustration. With a co-wife they could equally share the burden. Below are few ways in which a woman could respond to her husband’s intentions: She becomes very angry, upset and is besides herself with rage, to the point of acting violently against others and herself. She threatens to leave him and abuses the custody of kids. In short she just crates a host of complex problems. She is all the above but does not leave him. Instead, she puts up a fierce resistance turning her home and everybody’s lives into a living hell. She accepts the situation grudgingly. She may not display her anger but rather gives the impression that all is well. This store anger then drives her to act maliciously by placing various obstacles in the husband’s life. She is naturally upset, but takes it positively turning to Allah Ta’ala, asking His assistance. She also encourages her husband and co-operates with her co-wife. Shaytan will most definitely bombard her with evil thoughts and feelings sinking her into depression. However, by being patient and turning to Allah Ta’ala, He will most definitely help her. A Golden Rule to Remember: The hurt will not leave if she resorts to unreasonable behaviour, but will prolong her anguish if not increase it. To overcome the hurt, she will have to place herself in the ward where this takes place; the ward of the patient. Source

An Ansari razes a building to the ground. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was once passing through a street of Madinah Munawwarah when he saw a building with a dome. He inquired from the Sahaabah, "What is this?" They informed him that it was a new building built by one of the Ansaar. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) remained silent. At another time, the Ansaari who had built that house came to Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and greeted him with salaam. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) turned his face away from him. He repeated the salaam, but Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) again did not respond. This Sahaabi (Radhiallahu Anhu) was extremely concerned on account of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) not responding to his salaam. When he asked the Sahaabah, he was informed that Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) passed by the new building he had constructed and inquired about it. He immediately went and razed the new building to the ground, and did not even inform Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) about his action. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) happened to pass that way again. He inquired: “Where is that building with a dome that I remember seeing the last time we passed by this spot?” The Sahabah informed him of the Ansaari razing it to the ground, as he felt that it was the cause of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam’s) displeasure. Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) at that juncture remarked. “Every structure (which is constructed without a real need) will be a burden for one, except that structure which is absolutely essential.” The conduct of the Sahaabi exhibited true love and devotion. The Sahaabah could not bear the displeasure of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), and no sooner did they sense the displeasure of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) through any action, they immediately abandoned that action at all costs. (Fazaail Aamaal) يَا رَبِّ صَلِّ وَ سَلِّمْ دَائِمًا أَبَدًا عَلَى حَبِيبِكَ خَيرِ الخَلْقِ كُلِّهِمِ

When the treaty of Hudaybiyah was being negotiated, Urwah bin Mas'ood (Radhiallahu Anhu) an envoy of the Quraysh (who at the time of the treaty of hudaybiyah had not yet embraced Islam), had an opportunity of witnessing the conduct of the Sahaabah with Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). When he returned to his people, he said to them: "I have been to the courts of great kings and monarchs as an envoy. I have met the Emperors of Persia, Rome and Abyssinia. Nowhere have I seen people around a sovereign so respectful to him, as I saw the companions of Hadhrat Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). When he spits, his mubaarak saliva is not allowed to fall on the ground. It is taken by somebody in his hands to anoint his face and body therewith (in order to acquire blessings). When he issues some order, every person hastens to carry it out. When he makes Wudhu, his companions race with one another to snatch the water trickling down from his limbs, in such a way that an observer would think they are going to fight over that water. When he speaks, everybody is silent (out of respect). Nobody raises his eyes to look at him, out of respect for him." (Fazaail Aamaal) يَا رَبِّ صَلِّ وَ سَلِّمْ دَائِمًا أَبَدًا عَلَى حَبِيبِكَ خَيرِ الخَلْقِ كُلِّهِمِ

Polygamy in Islam: A Preventive Measure against Adultery and a Remedial Approach to the problem of the comparatively larger Female Population Before the advent of Islam, in all religions of the world, one man having more than one wife was something considered permissible . The custom prevailed in Arabia, India, Iran, Egypt, Babylon and among people elsewhere. Its natural validity cannot be denied even to this day. The Europeans of the present age tried to break away from the practice of their predecessors and made multiplicity of marriage impermissible. It resulted in the multiplicity of concubines and girlfriends retained out of wedlock and without any obligations and responsibilty of maintainence etc. The truth of the matter is that a religion or law which aims to establish an infra-structure of chastity and modesty and considers the eradication of adultery as necessary has no way out except that it permits plurality of wives. Apart from being a preventive measure against adultery, it serves as a remedial approach to the problem of comparatively larger female population in some areas as compared to that of men. If such permission was not granted, mistresses and prostitutes would proliferate. This is why nations which do not permit plurality of wives must live in rampant adultery (calling it “free sex” hardly changes the reality). Hence, in short, taking more than one wife was prevalent in all nations prior to Islam without the imposition of any limits. The history of nations and beliefs shows that no religion or law had drawn a line in this matter, niether the Jews and Christians, nor the Hindus, Arians nor the Zoarastrians. During the early days of Islam, this custom continued without being limited. As a result, people took too many wives to satisfy their greed. Later on they could not do justice to all of them and these wives of theirs lived like prisoners bound in the chains of marriage. Under such conditions, the idea of an equitable treatment of wives was practically non-existent. It was all a matter of personal choice or whim which could make the darling of a day a history of tomorrow. The concern for standing rights was a far cry. It was the Holy Quran that stopped this great injustice prevailing in the Human society at large. It restricted the plurality or multiplicity of wives by declaring that keeping more than four women under the bond of marriage was forbidden (haram). In addition to that, stern warning was given against contravention of the divine command which emphatically demanded that equality in fulfilling the rights of women taken into the bond of marriage at the same time must be maintained faithfully. The words of the Holy Quran are: فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء مَثْنَى وَثُلاَثَ وَرُبَاعَ On the one hand, permission has been given in this verse that more than one wife can be conjoined in marriage in twos, threes or fours, while on the other hand, after having taken the number to four, restriction was placed that more than four women cannot be taken in marriage at one given time. Thereafter the Holy Quran mentions: فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تَعْدِلُواْ فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ “But if you fear that you wil not maintain equity, then (keep to) one woman or a bondwoman you own.” From here we find out that having more than one wife is permissible and appropriate only on condition that equality can be maintained among all wives as required under the Shariah of Islam, and that the rights of all can be duly fulfilled. If one does not have the capability to discharge his obligations in this manner, the rule is to keep to only one wife. As stated earlier, the injustices of multiple marriages during Jaahiliyah without any considerations of rights of wives had made a mockery of this field of human relationship. So, the Quranic command was, if you are unable to do perfect justice between wives, then restrict yourself to no more than one, or make do with a bondwoman you may own (with the absence of slavery, this is not currently found). (Source: Ma’ariful Quraan – Mufti Muhammad Shafi Sb R.A.) Below are some facts for consideration as well: 1. Average life span of females is more than that of males By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females. During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers. 2. World female population is more than male population In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males. 3. Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband. And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best Was Salaam Shafiq Jakhura (Mufti) Fatwa Dept. DarulIhsaan.com

Wisdoms behind polygamy There is much wisdom why men have been given the permission to polygamy. I would just like to mention a few: 1) It is a known fact that there are more women than men and that they have a longer life. More men die due to wars and other incidents. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers. If we restricted men to having only one wife, then there would be many women without husbands. Especially, when a woman is divorced or she becomes a widow, at times it is very difficult for her to remarry. In permitting polygamy, there is a solution to this problem. These women will have someone to look after their social and economic needs. 2) At times, the wife is incapable of procreating and the husband desires to have children. Polygamy can also serve as a solution to this problem. 3) Some men are not satisfied with one woman. Recognising this need of a man, Islam permitted them to marry more than one wife, rather than falling into the trap of adultery and fornication. In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life. At times, the woman may not be able to fulfil the physical needs of her husband due to illness. By permitting polygamy, the door of extra-marital affairs is closed. The above are just some of the reasons and wisdoms behind the permissibility of practicing polygamy. This is the decision of Allah, and we as Muslims must accept it. Allah Most High says: “It is not fitting for a believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have any option about their decision. If anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path.” (al-Ahzab, 36) Mufti Muhammad Adam Chastity and Modesty The reasons why Islam permits a man to marry more than one wife: Wisdom behind the Limitation

Equality & Justice

Polygamy in Islam Polygamy: According to Islam Islam did not introduce polygyny but permitted it remedied the ills and abuses around it. The Hindus, Babylonians, Persians, Athenians, Jews and pre-Islamic Arabs recognized no limit to the number of wives a man could marry. Islam limited and restricted it in number; and hedged it with severe restrictions. Nowhere in the Shariah is polygyny condemned or discouraged but neither is it an essential commandment enjoining men to take multiple wives. Coupled with this permission is the emphatic command of justice and equality, financially and physically (i.e. spending equal amount of time with each spouse), if one intends taking another wife. The attitude of husband towards all his wives must be such as to give no occasion to heartburning, jealousy, dissatisfaction, discontent and frustration to any of them. There should be no cruelty, injustice, bias or partiality on the part of the husband. It is expected and seen that complete peace, harmony and tranquillity prevails in the household where the husband faithfully observes the injunctions of Islam regarding the equal status of all the wives in matters of maintenance, and general treatment. Each wife is entitled to have the opportunity of feeling the security of their man and sharing the bonds of love with him as well as enjoying his companionship. If the husband cannot exercise this equality he is not allowed to marry more than one. Regarding this restriction of number and equal treatment, the Qur’an ordains: “Marry such as you please, of other women, by twos, threes and fours; but if you apprehend that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then marry one only.” (Qur’an, 4:3) However, since love and emotions are beyond ones control, a man will be excused if he loves one spouse more than another. It is most irrational to demand a person to have equal love for two people. A person has friends but he has his “best friend’, a mother with many kids has “the apple of her eye” and the father has his “blue eyed boy”. Natural Need for Polygyny and its Logic Any society which tried to ban or deny polygyny resulted in nothing but a host of evils and problems that have sunk their societies to the lowest of the low, in the form of prostitution, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, unwanted children, increase in divorce rates etc. etc. Trying to stem the natural has spelt only woe for these societies and those who emulate them. Is polygamy really against the natural law? The facts and findings answer this question in negative. “‘Man’, says G.R. Scott, ‘is essentially polygamous and the development of civilization extends this innate polygamy.’ “(History of prostitution, p. 21; as quoted in ‘Polygamy in Islam’ published by Islami Mission, Lahore and Polygamy? p 17) Dr. Mercier says: “Woman is by nature monogamist; man has in him the element of polygamist.” (Conduct and its Disorders Biologically Considered, p. 292-3; as quoted in ‘Polygamy In Islam’) Professor Russel, an American scholar, said in a conference, held at the University of California, convened to discuss the Family Rights: “Marriage to one wife and being tied down to only one wife for the whole span of life is unnatural and unreasonable.” Then, in the course of a long discussion, he summarized his theory by sayings that “man ought to accept the law of more than one wife as an important factor in the struggle for the survival.” (Ittilaat, Tehran, No. 3104). It is an undeniable fact that in most human societies, females outnumber males. In the U.S.A there are at least eight million more women than men. In a country like Guinea there are at least 122 females for every 100 males. In Tanzania there are 95.1 males per 100 females. What would such societies do towards such unbalanced ratios? A survey over six thousand women, ranging in age from 15-59, conducted in the second largest city in Nigeria showed that sixty percent of these women would be pleased if their husbands took another wife. Seventy-six percent of the women in a survey conducted in Kenya, viewed polygamy positively. In a survey taken in rural Kenya, twenty-five out of twenty-seven women considered polygamy to be better than monogamy. (Women in Islam P 40 with reference to Phillip L. Kilbride, Plural Marriage for Our Times) Some other random examples of the male-female population ratio in some European countries in the early 1900’s: In France females exceeded men by 423:709, in Sweden women exceeded men by 122:870. In the 1980’s women in Spain outnumbered men by 457,260 while in Australia in the same period there were 644,796 more women than men. In Russia the female population presently outnumbers that of men by ten million; the United Kingdom has four million more women than men; while in Germany women exceed men by five million. In America women outnumber men by 7.8 million. (Polygamy? P 16) So if these countries boast the “one man one wife” system, the question that begs to be answered is what happens to these millions of unmarried women? Should they kill the instincts and lead unnatural lives? Should they marry men who are already married or should they allow themselves to become public property or opt for a life of loneliness, insecurity and vulnerability? What is more dignifying to a woman, an accepted and respected second wife or a virtual prostitute? Even if we accept, just for the sake of argument, that the Creator creates equal number of males and females (as claimed by Christian scholars), does it prove that there will be no need of polygamy? Well, let us look at this matter in a reasoned way. The girls become capable of re-production, and get the natural sexual feeling earlier than boys. It is because in temperate climate girls are able to conceive at the age of 9 or 10; while in the same climate an average boy becomes able to establish sexual intercourse at the age of about 14 or 15. Now, suppose a group of people settle together in a place, and suppose that every year 50 boys and 50 girls are born in that community. Also suppose that none of the children die in infancy. In 20 years, there will be 1,000 boys and 1,000 girls. Out of these 1,000 girls, 550 girls (who were born from the 1st. to the 11th year) will have reached the age of puberty, i.e., will be from 10 to 20 years old. And out of the 1,000 boys only 300 will reach the age of puberty. These will be the ones born from 1st year to the 6th year, who will be from 15 to 20 years old. If that community practices monogamy, the 300 boys can marry 300 girls. What will be the fate of the remaining 250 girls? So, the supposed equality in number of boys and girls is wrong not only according to the statistics, but in theory also. Also, one more fact has to be borne in mind, before claiming this equality of the numbers. All healthy women have to pass through a period, every month, when their condition discourages establishment of sexual intercourse. But the man does not lose his sexual urge at any time. What is the remedy if a man is unable to resist his sexual urge at a time when his wife is having her menstruation? Either polygamy, which has legal status, or going to the prostitutes, which is forbidden in every religion. The numerous problems that arise on account of a surplus of single unmarried women can only be addressed if polygyny is actively practiced. Dr. Le Bon, a French scholar, mentions: A return to polygyny, the natural relationship between sexes would remedy evils. e.g. prostitution venereal disease, abortion, misery of illegitimate children, adultery and even jealousy, since the disregarded wife (cheated wife in a monogamous marriage) would find consolation in her cognizance of not being secretly deceived by her husband. (i.e. she would know where he is) (Polygamy? p 17) Dr. Annie Besant says: “there is pretended monogamy in the west, but there is real polygamy without responsibility. The mistress is cast off when the man is weary of her and she sinks gradually to be the woman of the street; for the first lover has no responsibility for her future; and she is hundred times worse off than a sheltered wife and the mother in the polygamous home. When we see thousands of miserable women, who crowd the streets of western towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in western mouths to reproach Islam for its polygamy. It is better for a woman, happier for a woman, more respectable for a woman to live in Islamic polygamy united to one man only with the legitimate child in her arms and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced, cast out in streets perhaps with an illegitimate child, outside the pale of law, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood, despised by all”. (Polygamy? p 18) Reverend Canon Isaac Taylor, LL.D speaking on “Mohamedanism” at the church congress at Wolverhampton said: “owing to polygamy, Muslim countries are free from professional out-casts, a greater reproach to Christendom than polygamy in Islam. The strictly regulated polygamy of Moslem lands is infinitely less degrading to woman, less injurious to men than the promiscuous polygamy which is the curse of Christian cities, and which is absolutely unknown to Islam”. (Quoted in The Times, London, Saturday, 8th Oct, 1887, Polygamy? p 21) Source

Question Asallamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullah. Dear brother.. I sincerely wish for your help on a problem that has been going on since my husband left us…myself and our two baby girls to go back to his own country in the Gambia nearly 7 months ago. I am a white, English revert of 5 years alhumdullilah. We have been married for 5 years and the marriage was problematic, violent at times, full of jealousy on both parties and I went through a period of depression, low self esteem and lack of confidence. I feel that we didn’t commicate properly, for instance, there were many times that my husband offended me, but rather that sort the problem out, he would get into a rage which was very physical…..to cut a long story short, after a few years, I started really rebelling and started behaving terribly. I felt he made me jealous, sometimes with my girlfreinds, sometimes he would bring womans phone numbers home from his University, I felt he was very charming toward the opposite sex, he had letters from previous girlfriends, and photo’s of them and when I asked him to destroy them, I got a punch on the back of the neck, I felt from that moment on I was not a priority. So I got revenge. I started being extreamily nice to his friends when they visited, I purposefully got mens phone numbers from my work….All to get his reaction…to see if he would also get jealous because he used to tell me I need a doctor because I’m sick in the head. The latest problem was in January…he asked me to take out a loan for £15,000 so we could all go back to his country to live, he said that I shouldn’t worry about paying the loan back as many people do this, it would just mean that I would be able to go back to the UK for 5 years…stupidly enough, I agreed…I thought the Islam was good in his country. All three of us went to the Gambia, but I had to come home and sort finances out here in the UK…. I told my freind what I had done…she told me that I can’t just take a loan and not pay it back, this would be fraud. I immeadiately called my husband in the Gambia and I aksed him to come home and help me pay off the loan, he said that he didn’t want to come back here because he dosn’t like the UK…he then asked if he could have a second wife. Due to the circumstances…I had to divorce him as I thought this was a terrible thing to do, asking me to take a loan and the him starting a new life with a new wife in his own country…meanwhile, I couldn’t work after this because I had to look after my daughters so I had to go on benefits, therfore, I couldn’t pay the loan back at all. The main problem here…Where I really need you help…I can’t get rid of this gulit brother…for the things I did to him…i.e making him jealous on purpose and rebelling. Sometimes I cannot sleep out of fear because I worry this will be sorted out in Allah’s court. My heart is crying out of fear as I type this. I don’t know what excuse I will give Allah. Since I have been on my own, I have been gaining so much knowledge…there are things I know now, but didn’t know then. I really do feel very regretful brother..that I was a terrible wife and maybe this is why he left us. I cannot even sleep at night because my mind keeps replaying all the bad thigs I did to him. Please forgive me…this is long winded but please advise me..Jahannam is full of woman mainly and I fear I’m one of them….But I’m desparate to be one of the lucky 7 to be under the shade of Allah’s throne. Jazakallah….kindly for your Patience in reading this Asallamu Alakikum wa Rahmatullah brother… Answer Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem Al Jawaab Billahit-Tawfeeq Respected Sister, Allah Ta’ala says in the Noble Quraan: ‘Say: O my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. For Allah forgives all sins. For He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’ (Surah Az-Zumar, verse 53) It is inevitable as a human being that we commit sins day in and day out. We should realize that we are not like the messengers and prophets of Allah whom Allah has made ma’sum (free of sins). Therefore, no matter how pious a person may seem, he shall never be free of sins. This is true for us as well. When a person realizes that he has sinned and this causes his heart to feel regret and remorse, that in itself is a great blessing from Allah. There are may people who in spite of committing major sins, feel no sorrow or anxiety in their hearts. This is because they have considered the sin as something light and have no desire for repenting towards Allah. So in your situation, you should firstly make lots of shukr to Allah for having mercy on you for granting the realization of your misdeeds. Another thing which you should be happy with yourself is the fact that you want to repent and feel guilt from the bottom of your heart. Now, you will need to make a sincere repentance to Allah, asking forgiveness for all of your misdeeds that you have done while you were with your husband. Make a firm intention to never repeat those things and to turn a new leaf, insha Allah, Allah shall accept your taubah. When this is done, then you should no longer cry and be depressed by the things you have done in the past towards your husband. Realize that the past is the past. Nothing can change the past but the future can be changed from the experience we gained from the past. That is how people become better individuals and progress in life. If we always dwell in the past, then how are we supposed to strive for a better future? Yes, it is good to cry over our sins but we should do it in moderation. In everything we do, needs moderation. Have hope in Allah that Allah has forgiven the past sins and is now looking forward to seeing a new you. If we carry on living in fear, depression and sadness, then the person who is benefiting from this situation is Shaithaan. He is happy because this servant of Allah is not getting anywhere in life. So don’t let Shaithaan take this opportunity to drag us further into our depression and sadness. Rather, find the courage and strength to move on with our life and oppose Shaithaan. Show him that we are tougher than that! Is Allah really that type of a being who will never forgive His slave’s sins even after sincere repentance? Read the verse above over and over again and then judge for ourselves. The verse states that Allah will forgive ALL sins (except for shirk). If a revert who has committed all of the major sins one can think of, reverts to Islam, regrets his past sins and then passes away, Allah will forgive not only the sins committed but change those sins into good deeds due to his taubah. Allah Most Exalted says: ‘Unless he repents, believes, and works righteous deeds, for Allah will change the evil of such persons into good, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’ (Surah Al-Furqaan, verse 70) Just look at how merciful Allah is. Al-Ghafur (Most Forgiving) and Al-Raheem (Most Merciful). Have hope in Allah that Allah will forgive your sins and change those sins into your good deeds. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain. The key is taubah and dua. Carry on making dua that Allah includes us amongst the 7 fortunate people to be under His shade on the day whereby there is no shade except for His. Amin. And Allah knows best. Wassalam. ————————————– Binti Zahari Source

Forget having a "sisters' only day", if the report is true, looks like there won't even be the library to visit ) :

I wonder if this is an old story like the one about removing the tomb of our Rasool sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam in Madeenah... Nonetheless here are some pictures: Birth Place of Rasoolullaah sallallaahu 'alayhi waslallam Behind Safaa and Marwah, approximately 25 metres from the main road is the birthplace of Rasulullah (S.A. W). Currently a small library is situated on this place. An overview of the Haram: (Click on picture to enlarge) From Al-Miskeenah The Doorway to the Libarary I too remember the deep disappointment I felt when I could not enter. I sat just behind the door while my husband entered the library. One of the brothers was kind enough to get me a couple of books to look at and one of them happened to be the atlas of biography of Rasoolullaah sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam! I bought the book later to bring home..... Maybe they should have a time for sisters only.... (ummi taalib)