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Bismi Llahir Rahmanir Rahim by Naielah Ackbarali The Prophet ﷺ said: “A Muslim does not perform ablution (wuḍūʾ) and perfect it, and offer prayer, except that he will be forgiven (for his sins) during the period from one prayer to the next.” [Bukhari] Perfecting the ablution (wuḍūʾ) means to perform it completely with its sunna actions and etiquettes. AlhamduliLlah, through striving to beautify our worship and ensuring that it is done correctly, our sins will be washed away. Other narrations indicate that the gates of Paradise are opened for the person who perfects their ablution (wuḍūʾ). This is an encouragement for all Muslims to be avid to offer the best ablution (wuḍūʾ) possible to Allah Most High. The following is a step-by-step guide for both men and women of how to make ablution (wuḍūʾ) in the most complete form, as outlined by scholars from the Hanafi madhhab. Before Beginning: Remove any filth from one’s body or clothes, like blood, urine, feces, or the like. Remove any barrier that would prevent water from reaching the skin or hair, like tight rings, nail polish, dried dough, paint, fake eyelashes, fake nails, or waterproof makeup. Continue reading here
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Lately, I’ve been reflecting on Surah Ad-Duha, a chapter that resonates deeply, especially during times of uncertainty and hardship. This surah, revealed to the Prophet ﷺ in a period of anxiety, reminds us of Allah’s unwavering care for His creation. At that time, the Prophet ﷺ had not received revelation for some time, and the disbelievers mocked him, claiming that Allah had forsaken him. But the opening verses brought divine reassurance: “By the forenoon, and by the night when it grows still. Your Lord has not forsaken you, nor has He become displeased.” (93:1-3) This imagery beautifully illustrates the ups and downs of life. We all go through periods of difficulty, but just as the sun rises after a dark night, Allah's mercy and relief follow times of hardship. He has not abandoned us, and this is a constant truth we can hold onto. What I find particularly comforting is the promise in the verse: “And your Lord will give you, so you will be pleased.” (93:5). This verse reassures us that Allah is fully aware of our struggles and has already prepared something better for us. For the Prophet ﷺ, this was the acceptance of his intercession for his ummah. For us, it is an invitation to trust in Allah’s wisdom and care - we may not always understand why we face delays or challenges, but trusting in His plan brings inner peace. The surah then guides the Prophet ﷺ, and by extension, all of us, to reflect on the blessings we’ve already received: “Did He not find you an orphan and give you shelter? And He found you unaware, then He guided you And He found you in need and made you need-free.” (93:6-8). Often, when we are overwhelmed by difficulties, we overlook the blessings that have been showered upon us. By taking a moment to recognize these gifts, we remind ourselves of Allah’s constant mercy and care, which surrounds us even in times of hardship. Finally, Surah Ad-Duha calls us to action: “So as for the orphan, do not oppress him, and as for the petitioner, do not repel him. But about the blessings of your Lord, proclaim them.” (93:9-11). This teaches us that, even in our own moments of struggle, we should remain proactive in helping others and sharing the blessings we’ve received. Our struggles do not exempt us from offering kindness and support to those in need. I hope this reflection brings you comfort and serves as a reminder that after every dark night, there is a dawn. Allah’s mercy is near, and His plan for you is greater than you can imagine. White Thread Press
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Since October 7, 2023, the conflict between Israel and Hamas has escalated into one of the most devastating periods in the history of the region, with dire consequences for the civilian population in Gaza and the broader Palestinian territories. This escalation is not an isolated incident but rather part of a long-standing struggle that dates back to the mid-20th century. Historical Context The roots of the conflict can be traced to 1947, when the United Nations proposed a partition plan to create separate Jewish and Arab states in Palestine. This plan was rejected by Arab leaders, leading to the 1948 Arab-Israeli War and the establishment of the state of Israel. In the aftermath, hundreds of thousands of Palestinians were displaced, an event they refer to as the Nakba, or "catastrophe." Since then, the region has witnessed repeated cycles of violence, territorial disputes, and a series of wars and uprisings. The Current Escalation Gaza, home to some 2.3 million people, bears little resemblance to what it was a year ago. Israeli attacks have reduced entire neighbourhoods to rubble, erased centuries-old mosques and churches and destroyed vital agricultural lands. The scale of destruction in this small area of just 365sq km (141sq miles) is so immense that many residents cannot return home - and likely won't be able to for the foreseeable future. Humanitarian Impact The human cost of this recent conflict has been catastrophic: Casualties: As of now, thousands of Palestinians have been killed, including a significant number of women and children. Hospitals in Gaza report that they are overwhelmed with the influx of injured civilians. In contrast, Israeli casualties have also been significant, including both military and civilian losses. Displacement: The violence has caused massive displacement within Gaza, with hundreds of thousands fleeing their homes in search of safety. Refugee camps are overcrowded, lacking essential supplies like food, water, and medical care. The Israeli military has repeatedly hit the camp of some 116,000 registered refugees, with United States-made 2,000-pound bombs, killing hundreds of people. These bombs are among the largest and most destructive and can leave craters with a diameter greater than 40 feet (12 metres). Infrastructure Damage: Critical infrastructure, including schools, hospitals, and residential buildings, has been severely damaged or destroyed. This has resulted in widespread homelessness and has crippled access to essential services. The destruction of healthcare facilities is particularly alarming, as medical staff struggle to cope with the influx of patients and shortages of supplies. In the past year, Gaza's Government Media Office has recorded the complete destruction of at least 611 Masjids and the partial destruction of 214 Masjids due to Israeli attacks. Not far down the road from the Old City, in the heart of Gaza City's Remal neighbourhood, is the Islamic University of Gaza (IUG). IUG, together with al-Azhar University, are the two top universities in the Gaza Strip, providing higher education to tens of thousands of students each year. While both universities have been targeted in previous wars, this latest war has left their campuses completely devastated. Of Gaza’s 12 universities, none is left standing. In Remal neighbourhood is al-Shifa Hospital, the largest medical complex in the Strip and one of the first hospitals to come under attack. On November 15, Israeli soldiers surrounded the medical complex where thousands of Palestinians were sheltering. Five months later in April, it came under a two-week siege that left the hospital in ruins and hundreds of people dead. Over the past year, at least 114 hospitals and clinics have been rendered inoperative, leaving many patients without access to essential medical services. In central Gaza, lies Deir el-Balah, one of Gaza's main agricultural hubs, known for its cultivation of oranges, olives and, notably, dates. Israel has killed at least 41,000 people and injured nearly 100,000 others in bombings, by destroying healthcare that could have saved them, and by starvation. More than half (60 percent) of Gaza's farmland - crucial for feeding Gaza’s population of which 96 percent is food insecure, has been damaged or destroyed by Israeli attacks. Utter Destruction In just one year of war, the landscape of Gaza has altered almost unrecognisably. Almost 60 percent of Gaza has been damaged or destroyed. An estimated 75,000 tonnes of explosives have been dropped on Gaza with experts predicting it could take years to clear the debris amounting to more than 42 million tonnes, which is also rife with unexploded bombs. What Should We Do? The greatest means to attaining victory is strong Iman and good deeds. Allah’s promise of victory is reserved for those whose Iman is firmly embedded. This is because when Iman becomes deeply rooted in the believer’s heart, one is willing to sacrifice his desires and his personal gains for the sake of Allah’s din. On the eve of the Battle of Qadisiyyah, Sayyiduna Umar bin al-Khattab radiyallahu anhu advised Sayyiduna Saʿd bin Abi Waqqaṣ radiyallahu anhuma and his army: “Fear your sins more than you fear the enemy as your sins are more dangerous to you than your enemy. We Muslims are only victorious over our enemy because their sins outnumber ours, not for any other reason. If our sins were equal to those of our enemy, then they would defeat us due to their superior numbers and resources.” How many of our own transgressions are contributing to the weakness and predicaments facing Muslims around the world? Let us not allow our sins and failure to observe the fundamentals of Islam correctly become a stumbling block for the progress of the Ummah. Pray every single fardh Salah on time. Perform Salah in jama-ah in the Masjid, including Fajr. Ensure that Zakah is discharged timeously and correctly. Do not disobey your parents. Do not harm your spouse or children. Do not look at Haram. Be honest in dealings and transactions. Make sincere repentance. May Almighty Allah alleviate the struggles our brothers and sisters are enduring, remove the hardship and pain they are experiencing, bring them complete ease and immediate victory and destroy the enemies of Islam with a humiliating and crushing defeat, Ameen. Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
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Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these basic principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. Amidst busy schedules and tasks on the parts of both women and men, Muslim husbands and wives tend to forget the real reasons behind marriage and likewise the rights of each other. Subsequently, they deprive themselves, their mates and their children of the happiness and tranquillity that is the bedrock of a successful family. This unbalanced vision towards a couple’s ideal relationship is bad enough to plunge the family into a situation laden with troubles and worries. 1) Negative Relationship between Husband & Wife Some Muslim spouses relate to each other like adversaries rather than life time partners. The husband assumes the position of dictator, and whatever he says is law. The wife on the other hand feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives do not express their gratitude to their husbands irrespective of how much the man may do for her. Instead they adopt an attitude of ‘never enough’ and make the husband feel like a failure if he does not provide every want and desire their extravagant lifestyles dictate. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in family matters. Moreover certain husbands become so cold and miserly that even the basic expenditure for the house is difficult to come by. 2) Nikah – A divine institution The Nikah bond has been divinely established for the welfare and upkeep of a healthy and progressive community. This divine prescription has been unjustly utilised as a vehicle to perpetrate oppression, deception, humiliation, and abuse. Allah Ta’ala describes marriage very differently in the Noble Quran: "And from his signs are, He created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may live in tranquillity with them, and instilled love and mercy between your (hearts)…“ (30:21) 3) Head of the Home The position Islam has accorded to the man as the head of the home is a responsibility which will be accounted for, rather than a privilege which should be abused. We are taught to treat our wives well. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has reported to have said: "The person possessing the most perfect faith is one who has excellent behaviour, and the best among you are those who are best towards their wives”. (Mishkaat) 4) Be Partners in Decision Making Follow the principle of ‘Shura,” (consultation) and make decisions as a family. Implementing this Sunnah within the home increases harmony and love between family members. It will also assist in enhancing trust and loyalty between spouses and the children. 5) Abuse Abstain totally from every form of emotional, mental, or physical abuse to your spouse. 6) Watch Your Words Be very careful what you say when you are upset. The wounds afflicted to the heart of a person by words will never heal and remain a lifelong memory. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. Apply the directives found in the Hadith for suppression of anger. 7) Work Together in the House Occasionally Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) occasionally assisted his wives with household chores. When Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) did not consider the housework trivial, how can we today obligate our wives to all the house work and much more? 8) Communication is Important Talk to each other, communicate, have a dialogue, but do it respectfully. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until they explode. 9) Live Simply Do not envy or cast your gaze towards those spouses who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. Be pleased with what you have. The grass will always look greener on the other side. The wealthiest person is the one who has attained contentment of heart. To develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Repeatedly thank Allah Ta’ala for the many blessings in your life. 10) Admit Your Mistakes When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never sleep angry with each other. 11) Past Problems Everything that has happened is history. Repent for the past and live for the future. Do not focus discussion on the past unless it is something that will make both of you laugh. The Dua for a blissful marriage: Rabbana hab lana min azwaajinaa wa zurriyyatina qurrata a-ayun waj-alna lil muttaqeena imaama (O Allah! grant us such wives and offspring who will be a source of coolness for our eyes, and make us leaders of the Allah-Fearing). Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
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Killing of Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah is the latest salvo in a decades-long battle By Al Jazeera Staff Published On 18 Sep 202418 Sep 2024 The conflict between Hezbollah and Israel – which have been exchanging fire across the border of Israel and Lebanon since the start of the war on Gaza last October – has descended into “war”, Al Jazeera’s Zeina Khodr has reported from Beirut. Hezbollah confirmed that its leader, Hassan Nasrallah, had been killed in an Israeli air strike on residential buildings in Beirut, which Israel claimed were above Hezbollah’s headquarters, on the night of Friday, September 27. Ali Karki, the commander of Hezbollah’s southern front, and other Hezbollah commanders, were also killed in the massive air attack on Beirut’s southern suburb of Dahiyeh on Friday, the Israeli military claimed. Continue here: The history of conflict between Hezbollah and Israel | Hezbollah News | Al Jazeera
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The history of Jerusalem The history of Jerusalem is the history of a living city perhaps unlike that of any other in the world. History A capital question UN resolutions The old city of Jerusalem Al-Jazeera
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An Upbringing of Piety (Mother of Moulana Sayyid Abul Hasan ‘Ali Nadwi [rahimahumallah]) The greatest accomplishment of Khairun Nisaa (rahimahallah) and the highlight of her life was perhaps the exemplary manner in which she raised and moulded her son, Moulana Sayyid Abul Hasan Ali Nadwi (rahimahullah). Moulana was orphaned at the tender age of nine. It was thus his mother who single-handedly attended to his upbringing. Khairun Nisaa was extremely kind and compassionate towards her son, especially since he had lost his father. However, there were two aspects regarding which she was unrelenting and extremely strict. The first was Salaah In this regard, she would not tolerate even the slightest negligence or laziness. If her son ever fell asleep without performing his Esha Salaah, she would wake him up and make him perform it, even if he was in a very deep sleep. Similarly, she would wake him up at the time of Fajr Salaah and send him to the masjid. Thereafter, when he would return after salaah, she would make him sit and recite the Quraan Majeed. The second aspect regarding which she was very strict and firm was his behaviour with the servants and the poor. If he ever ill-treated a servant or the servant’s child, or displayed arrogance and treated them rudely, she would force him to ask them for forgiveness and beg their pardon. Moulana explained the great impact that this had on him throughout his life in the following words, “This (approach, which my mother adopted,) benefited me greatly in my life and instilled within me the intolerance for pride, arrogance and oppression. It also impressed upon me the seriousness of the sin of looking down at people and treating them badly. Furthermore, due to this, it was always easy for me to acknowledge my mistakes (throughout my life).” When Moulana went to Lucknow to study, his mother continued to monitor his progress and check on him through his step-brother. She also continued to write letters to him, advising him and giving him guidance in various areas of his life. Lessons Although it outwardly seems as though she was only strict regarding two aspects, the reality is that she actually impressed to her son the importance of the entire Deen. The reason is that Deen is primarily divided into the duties of Allah Ta‘ala and the duties of the creation. By being strict on salaah, she instilled the importance of the first category of duties in his heart, and by being strict on his behaviour with the servants and the poor, she instilled the importance of the second category in his heart. Even after Moulana grew older and left home to pursue his Deeni studies, his mother remained concerned over his progress and continued to check on him and advise him. This is because the parents’ concern for their child is until they die. Hence, parents must never stop making dua for their children, and so long as they are able to, they must continue to advise them and encourage them towards righteousness. UswatulMuslimah
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This brings solace and hope.... Unknown author AWAITING THE KNOCKOUT BLOW: A QURANIC PARALLEL The disappearance of "Israel" from existence is a Quranic truth and a prophetic promise. Therefore, the question is not if it will disappear, but rather when will the final round come? It is not my belief to sit back and wait for miracles. Instead, I believe that miracles come only after the believer has exhausted all their efforts. When falsehood seems to have all the power and victory seems certain, the truth holds on to its last shred of steadfastness. The believer may appear on the brink of defeat, but it is in that moment that Allah intervenes and eventually the miracle arrives. Throughout the Quran, we see a consistent theme: the struggle for influence is distinct from the struggle for belief. In the battle for influence, Allah allows human beings to rely on their resources and power. The stronger party typically prevails, but the conflict over belief operates under a different divine principle. In this realm, the balance of power does not determine the outcome. Quranic Parallels of Divine Intervention: When Allah SWT destroyed Pharaoh, He did so not by shifting the balance of power but at the height of Pharaoh’s pride. Pharaoh declared himself the supreme lord, leading his mighty, well-equipped army. Yet, Allah drowned him and his forces in the Red Sea, showcasing Allah’s might over human arrogance. Similarly, when Allah dealt with Nimrod, it was not in a moment of weakness for Nimrod but at the peak of his defiance, when he proclaimed, “I give life and I cause death.” Allah’s power struck him down at the height of his arrogance. The tribe of Aad met their fate while boasting of their strength, saying, “Who is stronger than us?” Allah’s punishment came not by changing the causes but while they stood in their might. Likewise, Thamud was destroyed as they confidently roamed the rocks in their valley, oblivious to their imminent doom. The Battle of Faith and Endurance: During the battle of Khandaq, the believers were besieged, their hearts heavy with fear as the enemy surrounded them (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:10-12). The earth, vast as it was, felt narrow to them. Yet, it was at this moment, when all seemed lost, that Allah sent a wind and unseen forces, scattering the enemy and granting victory to the steadfast (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:9). The War in Gaza: As the war on Gaza began, I initially thought it would be just another round in a long series of conflicts, ending as the previous war had. But now, I sense that this could be the final round, the knockout blow. This war, like those before it, may seem under human control, but it has long been beyond our hands and Israel. It seems the hand of Allah is directing it. I am not against rationality, reasoning, and accepting reality. But rationality alone cannot account for the steadfastness, strength, and stability displayed by the people of Gaza thus far. Consider this: Under relentless high-tech bombing, great powers would have melted into extinction. How could a small, narrow stretch of coastline withstand such constant bombardment? With its flat geography, devoid of mountains, valleys, or forests, it should be a military target’s delight, a vulnerable zone for the first attack from a massive arsenal dominating the sea, air, and land. Given that Israel’s previous wars against united Arab nations ended in a matter of days or even hours, speaking of realism now seems like a misplaced materialistic belief. This war, regardless of how it ends, will lay the foundation for the eventual knockout. But one thing is certain: the outcome is no longer in human hands. The hand of Allah is at work, guiding the course of events toward His will. Just as He has done throughout history, He will bring about His plan in His time, and those who trust in Him will see His deliverance, InshAllah - VERY SOON There is no occupier that remains in its occupation. This is an established fact that no one can deny, regardless of the beliefs of the owners of the land!
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Israel Will Not Survive...
ummtaalib replied to ColonelHardstone's topic in General Islamic Discussions
the place is full of thugs... -
The mother said to her son's wife, smiling after the honeymoon: You were able to make my son commit to praying in the mosque. You succeeded in thirty days, while I failed in thirty years. Her eyes filled with tears. The son's wife replied, saying: Do you know, mother, the story of: The Stone and the Treasure? It is said that there was a large stone blocking the way for people to pass. .. So a man volunteered to break it and remove it. The man tried and hit the stone with an axe 99 times, then he got tired... Then a man passed by him and asked him to help him... And indeed, the man took the axe and hit the large stone, and it split from the first blow. .. The surprise was that there was a bag full of gold under the rock, so the man said: It is mine, I split the stone... So the two men argued before the judge, the first said: Give me some of the treasure, I hit the stone 99 times and then got tired, and the other said: The whole treasure is mine, I am the one who split the stone... The judge replied: The first one gets 99 parts of the treasure, and you, the one who split the stone, get one part... Oh man, if it weren't for his 99 strikes, the stone wouldn't have split a hundred times. 💚 Thirty years, and the mother urges her son to pray without despair.. Then she rejoices that her son prayed out of affection for his wife.. even though he disobeyed her for thirty years!! 💚 Then how beautiful is the behavior of the son's wife and how great is her morals when she did not attribute the credit to herself, but rather made the mother completely confident that her efforts were not in vain and that she was the one who laid the foundation stone and built brick by brick until the last brick remained that the son's wife completed..
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Is it permissible to take your wife’s opinion?
ummtaalib replied to ummtaalib's topic in Marriage & Family
Incident where Nabi sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam took the advice of his wife Umm Salamah RA The incident took place during the journey to Makkah to perform the Umrah and the Muslims were prevented from entering Makkah and which led to the signing of the Treaty of Hydaybiyyah. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had ratified the treaty, he commanded his Companions to get up, slaughter their sacrificial animals, and shave their heads, but none of them got up. (The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was telling his Companions to end the state of ihraam which they had entered in order to perform 'Umrah. They had been prevented from entering Makkah, and were to wait until the following year to perform 'Umrah, but they did not want to abandon their hope of performing 'Umrah on this occasion. They did not want to accept the deal that had been struck with the Quraysh, hence they were reluctant to end their ihraam.) He told them three times to do this, but not one of them responded. He went to his wife Umm Salamah, and told her what he was facing from the people. At this point the wisdom and intelligence of Umm Salamah become quite clear. She told him, The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) took her advice, and did as she suggested. When the Sahaabah saw that, they rushed to sacrifice their animals and shave their heads -
When I will be considered as a Musafir to offer Qasr Namaz?
ummtaalib replied to irfan Syed's topic in Hanafi Fiqh (General)
Glad to be of help. Please see here for more ifta sites where we can ask questions -
Q. I was discussing a matter with my friend and there were two reasonable options before me. I said I will consider my wife's opinion and then decide accordingly. My friend said that this is incorrect and goes against the teachings of Islam. Is there anything wrong with seeking one's wife's opinion? If it is acceptable to do so, could you please provide the evidence from Islamic teachings? Also, I would appreciate any additional insights on the matter. A. There is nothing wrong with seeking the opinion of your wife or any other family member, and it is certainly not against the Quran or Hadith. In fact, taking advice from those close to you, especially your spouse, is not only permissible but also recommended in Islam. One of the most profound examples of this can be found in the life of our beloved Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam. When Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam received the first revelation in the cave of Hira, he was deeply shaken and unsure of what had just happened. He immediately went to his wife, Sayyidatuna Khadijah (Radhiyallahu Anha), seeking her comfort and advice. It was Khadijah (Radhiyallahu Anha) who reassured him, reminded him of his good character, and supported him during this crucial time. She played a vital role in comforting him and in helping him understand that what he had experienced was a divine message from Allah Ta’ala. This incident is a clear example that seeking the counsel of one’s wife is not only permissible but can be of great benefit. The Quran also encourages mutual consultation. In Surah Ash-Shura (42:38), Allah Ta’ala praises those who conduct their affairs by mutual consultation. The verse says: "And those who have responded to their lord and established prayer and whose affair is [determined by] consultation among themselves, and from what We have provided them, they spend." This verse highlights the importance of Shura (consultation) in making decisions, and this principle applies within the family as well. There is also a Hadith that supports the importance of consultation. Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said: "The one who seeks counsel is never disappointed…" (Narrated by al-Tabarani in al-awsat) This Hadith emphasizes that consulting others, including one's spouse, is a means of avoiding disappointment and making sound decisions. In summary, seeking the opinion of your wife or any other close person is not only permissible but is encouraged in Islam. The example of the Nabi Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam and the teachings of the Quran and Hadith all point to the wisdom and benefit in mutual consultation, especially within the family. And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best Mufti Muhammed Hamza Farooqui Mufti Taahir Hansa (The answer hereby given is specifically based on the question asked and should be read together with the question asked. Islamic rulings on this Q&A newsletter are answered in accordance to the Hanafi Fiqh unless otherwise stated.) Fatwa Department Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
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When I will be considered as a Musafir to offer Qasr Namaz?
ummtaalib replied to irfan Syed's topic in Hanafi Fiqh (General)
wa'alaykumus salaam warahmatulah Brother to be on the safe side please ask here: Submit a Question – Dārul Iftā (mubz.co.za) -
Fights happen in marriage. It’s a normal part of the deal. Marriage consists of two people, and as such, they will naturally differ and disagree on things from time to time. The real question is: HOW do we disagree? What should these arguments or fights look like? Should they be a free for all? Or are there some ground rules, guidelines for how to conduct ourselves as husbands and wives when we do fight? Here is what I’ve learned from my own marriage and the marriages I’ve seen around me: Do not fight dirty. What’s fighting dirty? Some people, when they get mad, aren’t able to contain their anger or control themselves. They feel their anger building and let it rage into a blazing inferno, raging out of control. In this state, they let loose, allowing themselves to say whatever comes to their angry mind. They deliberately target what they know their spouse is sensitive about, what will devastate and wound the spouse. They go for the jugular. They have no filter in that moment and will say literally anything and everything they can think of in order to hurt the other person and “win” the fight. But there is no winning like this. Even if you “win” like this, you’ve lost. You’ve lost the trust and love of your spouse, you’ve damaged the relationship, you’ve sacrificed your marriage to score some cheap points in the heat of anger. This is fighting dirty. If a couple gets into the mode of fighting dirty, it can be hard to fix. Some things, once said, cannot be unsaid. Once your spouse has heard you belittle, disrespect, or mock him or her in a certain way, he or she cannot un-hear that. The damage is done, despite the apologies that might come later. Not all jabs are erased by even a sincere apology. Some things cut deep, and leave lasting marks. This affects the relationship quality, weakens the marriage bond. Here are some concrete things you should NOT do while fighting with your spouse: 1. No cursing, swearing, cussing. We don’t use the f-word or other filthy language, no matter how angry we feel. 2. No name-calling. 3. No using what you know is going to really truly hurt and devastate your spouse. Don’t use the intimate details they shared with you in confidence once against him or her, just to twist the knife now in a fight. 4. No bringing in other stuff not related to the current fight. Focus on the issue at hand without piling on other stuff that’s irrelevant. 5. No dragging up past mistakes your spouse made, if you’ve already forgiven him or her. This is unfair. 6. No threatening divorce willy nilly. Don’t keep bringing up the possibility of leaving the other person during every small and big argument. This is unnecessary. 7. No involving the kids. Go have your fight in the privacy of your own room, especially if it gets heated. 8. No belittling or mocking your spouse in the presence of others. Show respect and restraint even if you’re mad. 9. No mocking things your spouse genuinely can’t control or help, like an illness he or she has, a fertility problem, being too short/ tall, being dark or light-skinned. These are unchangeable features of your spouse that were determined by Allah who created him or her; this cannot be helped. It’s not his or her fault. You knew this before marriage. Don’t come now and mock it because you’re mad. This is a cheap shot. 10. No attributing intentions to your spouse. You cannot know someone else’s intentions, because the niyyah is in their heart, known only by themselves and by Allah. You can say what it looks like, but you cannot just assign a specific (malicious) intention to the other person when you can’t know that since you can’t see into his or her heart. These are the top ten etiquettes that are important to stick to during marital disagreements. It’s not a free for all. We don’t go wild. There are certain red lines we never cross, even at the height of anger. The Muslim has taqwa of Allah, even when angry or in the middle of a heated fight. A Muslim is not foul-mouthed, vulgar, or merciless. Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi was sallam said, “The believer is not one who insults others, nor curses others, nor is vulgar, nor shameless.” [Tirmidhi] If done right, with restraint, self-control, and taqwa, a couple can actually get closer and more aligned after having a fight. If done wrong, fights can destroy a marriage entirely. May Allah grant us all taqwa of Him even during moments of anger, and bless the marriages of this ummah, ameen. muslimskeptic.com
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The outcome of our lives is determined by our final actions. No matter how pious or sinful one’s life may seem, it is the conclusion that counts in the eyes of Allah. This reality should instil in us both hope and humility—hope, because redemption is always possible, and humility, because none of us knows how we will meet our Lord. The Prophet ﷺ said: “One man does the deeds of those who go to hell but is one of those who go to paradise, and another does the deeds of those who go to paradise but is one of those who go to hell, for judgement is given according to one’s final actions.” (Bukhari and Muslim). In light of this, it’s crucial to adopt an attitude of humility and self-awareness. Often, we are quick to judge others based on their current state or past actions, but we must remember that we do not know their true standing in the sight of Allah. Someone who appears distant from righteousness today may surpass us in the end, just as someone who seems virtuous might falter at the last moment. Therefore, we should never consider ourselves superior to others. Instead, we should strive to see ourselves as constantly in need of improvement and guidance. Imam Sha’rani mentions in his 'Code of Companionship’: “Among the rights that a brother is entitled to from his brother is that one should always perceive themselves as inferior when comparing themselves to their brother. This should be rooted in firm conviction, not just opinion or speculation.” Moreover, this humility should extend to how we interact with others, regardless of their social status or knowledge. Scholars have noted, “One who does not genuinely regard themselves as inferior to their brother will not truly benefit from their companionship.” Every person we encounter has something to offer us, and we should always be open to learning from them. By perceiving others as greater than ourselves, we open our hearts to true growth and wisdom, benefiting from the experiences and insights of those around us. We owe it to our brothers never to look down at them with an eye of disdain, and refrain from disgracing them due to a sin or any other matter. Reflect on the words of a great spiritual scholar Sayyidi ‘Ali Wafa: “It would be foolish and thoughtless to assume that you are immune from being in a similar situation or to condemn someone for something you could potentially do yourself. You should be aware that what is possible for someone else, is equally possible for you.” May Allah allow us to benefit from the companionship and insights of those around us, and protect us from arrogance and self-righteousness. whitethreadpress.com
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Q. Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed and stressed, as it seems difficult to achieve my goals, leading to thoughts of giving up. Despite this, I strive to maintain my faith and remain strong. Could you offer any advice on how to stay positive and resilient amidst the challenges of life, especially when it feels like this life is so short? A. May Allah Ta’ala ease your heart and grant you peace in these challenging times. It is natural to feel overwhelmed by the weight of our goals and the pressures of this Dunya (world), but remember that our existence here is just a brief journey, a test designed by Allah Ta’ala to purify and elevate our souls. Allah Ta’ala reminds us in the Quran: "And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient." (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:155) Patience (Sabr) and reliance on Allah Ta’ala (Tawakkul) are key in navigating the trials of life. Here are some steps that may help you stay positive and grounded in your Imaan (faith): 1. Reconnect with Allah Ta’ala: Regular prayer (Salaah), recitation of the Quran, and making dhikr (remembrance of Allah Ta’ala) can bring immense tranquillity to the heart. Allah Ta’ala says, "Verily, in the remembrance of Allah Ta’ala do hearts find peace and tranquillity." (Surah Ar-Ra'd, 13:28) 2. Break down your goals: Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed because we try to take on too much at once. Break your goals into smaller, manageable tasks. Achieve them step by step, and rely on Allah Ta’ala for strength and guidance. 3. Reflect on the temporary nature of life: Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said, "Be in this world as if you were a stranger or a traveller." (Sunan Tirmidhi) This life is fleeting, and our ultimate goal is the Hereafter. Every difficulty we endure with patience and faith brings us closer to eternal bliss in Jannah, Insha’Allah. 4. Seek support from others: Do not hesitate to share your feelings with trusted friends, family, or a counsellor. Sometimes, speaking about our struggles can lighten the burden and provide a new perspective. 5. Practice gratitude: Focus on the blessings you have, no matter how small they may seem. Gratitude can shift your perspective from what is lacking to what is present, bringing contentment to your heart. 6. Remember the bigger picture: Every trial you face is an opportunity to grow closer to Allah Ta’ala. It is through these challenges that our character is refined and our faith strengthened. In conclusion, life may be short, but it is also a precious opportunity to earn the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala and prepare for the eternal life to come. Stay strong, continue to make Du’aa, and trust in Allah Ta’ala’s plan for you. He is the Best of Planners, and He knows what is best for you in this life and the next. And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best Mufti Muhammed Hamza Farooqui Mufti Taahir Hansa (The answer hereby given is specifically based on the question asked and should be read together with the question asked. Islamic rulings on this Q&A newsletter are answered in accordance to the Hanafi Fiqh unless otherwise stated.) Fatwa Department Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
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Superstition in the Month of Safar Rasulullah Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam said, “There is no superstitious owl, bird, no star-promising rain and no bad omen in the month of Safar.” [Sahih Bukhari] Many people have erroneous beliefs regarding this month i.e. it is a month of misfortune and calamities. The teachings of Allah Ta’ala and His most beloved Rasul (SallAllahu Alaihi wa Sallam) gives us clear guidelines on such incorrect beliefs. Today, there are some Muslims who hold incorrect beliefs regarding the month of Safar. Some incorrect beliefs are: 1. A Nikah performed in this month will not be successful. 2. This month is full of misfortune and calamities. 3. To commence any important venture, business etc. during this month will bring bad luck. 4. The first to the thirteenth of Safar is ill-fortune and evil. 5. The person who distributes food or money on the 13th of Safar will be saved from its ill-fortune. 6. To celebrate the last Wednesday of Safar and regard it as a holiday. In pre-Islamic days people considered the month of Safar to be evil and ominous. Rasulullah Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam strongly rejected such beliefs and ideas. The truth is that no time, day, month or date is in itself evil, but the deeds of people are either good or bad. The time spent in the performance of good deeds will be auspicious and the time spent in sin and the disobedience of Allah Ta’ala will be evil and ominous. The Month of Safar is not ominous. Evil deeds and incorrect beliefs are ominous and should be given up and repented for. It is incorrect to postpone or delay marriage or its proposal or a journey, etc. because of such beliefs. The polytheists believed the Month of Safar (up to the 13th day) to be inauspicious, hence, Rasulullah Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam rejected this superstition. It is therefore wrong for Muslims, who are the followers of Rasulullah Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam, to adopt the ways of the non-Muslims and to entertain the very beliefs which he had come to change. May Allah Ta’ala grant all Muslims the ability toshun all types of erroneous beliefs regarding the blessed month of Safar and to accept and practice upon all the beautiful teachings of Rasulullah Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam, Aameen. Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
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My mother in law, widowed for twenty-five years, was one in a million. She was my friend, my mother, not a ‘mother in law’. I spent thirty one years of my life with her. I can’t remember a single day that we ever fought or argued. We had our differences but never things that got out of hand. She would easily resolve things with her heart of gold. Here are a few things that she did that made us friends rather than in laws: 1. She never stayed angry for more than an hour 2. It was always more important to her that we have a good relationship so that we could live happily. 3. She never interfered in my marriage or in the upbringing of my children. 4. She gave me authority and respect in her home. 5. One of the golden ingredients of her successful recipe was that she never complained to her son (my husband) or to my mother about me. In turn I never complained to my husband about her. We always sorted out our problems with each other. In this way my husband was spared of being caught in the middle, choosing sides, his mother or me. 6. Our personalities were different but due to our understanding and mutual respect, we got on like a ‘house on fire’. 7. She loved me unconditionally for who I was, not for what I could do for her. In return it was easy for me to do things for her to make her happy. 8. She always acknowledged and appreciated whatever I did for her. 9. She always took my part over her son, even if I was wrong. 10. Whenever she was wrong she never hesitated to apologize and ask for maaf! This was a truly remarkable quality. It takes a really amazing woman to do that. Not many mothers in law would be able to do this. And when she would do this, I would become extremely embarrassed, feeling terrible that my mother is asking me for maaf. 11. She had no qualms in praising me in front of others. She would always say that she was so lucky to have me. Truly speaking I was the lucky one to have her as my mother in law. 12. Some other qualities of hers was that her heart was always clean, she never kept any ill feelings in her heart and she was very soft hearted. 13. She was always humble, smiling and giggling. 14. She never complained about taking care of my brother in law who is mentally challenged and took him with her wherever she went. She did not make him my responsibility. 15. She loved my children unconditionally and never bothered of they made a noise or mess in her house. She would just say, “Leave them, children are not normal if they are not naughty.” 16. She had an amazing quality of feeding people. If you came to her home, she would never allow you to leave without eating. If she had no visitors then she would send food, baking or naan to her neighbours and friends. Even when she was ill and people came to visit she would ask me if I had fed them. A beautiful Sunnah which is dying so fast today. 17. She always had time for everyone, especially her nephews and nieces who were all beloved to her and in return she was beloved to them. 18. Most importantly, she always kept family ties in spite of living so far away from everyone. I hope that I can follow in those footsteps of hers. I truly loved her with all my heart. For my daughters, their Dadi was their world. I have lost my friend, my companion and my support of thirty one years. May Allah Ta’ala grant her the highest stages in Jannatul Firdaus, Aameen. From the Jamiatul Ulama KZN Social Office: The social department works primarily with relationship conflict on a consistent basis. We exist as social beings in this Dunya and relationships are central to our existence. Just as we require a license to drive a car, so too should we equip ourselves with the correct skills to efficiently maintain our relationships. Alhamdulillah, this heartwarming message presents some fundamental values required for a healthy relationship. In-law relationships in particular appear to be fraught with misunderstandings and a lack of tolerance. Media has also contributed to the added perception that this relationship is necessarily difficult. The alternative narrative like this message presents becomes useful in shifting current views. A healthy relationship recognizes that individuals are different, so we learn to appreciate our differences. We respect and appreciate a person's individuality whether they are our senior or junior. Insaan (humans) comes from the root word 'nasiya' which means 'to forget'...if we can so often forget our Creator, we can also definitely forget the rights another insaan has over us. So we learn to tolerate, overlook and forgive the other persons shortcomings as we recognise that we too are an imperfect insaan. How do we do so? ...we take the good someone has to offer and we disengage from the imperfect bits. We choose to look through rose-tinted glasses and focus on the strengths/positives of the person. If we choose to stand rigidly by the rights that we have over another person, we will be unlikely to enjoy survival of relationship. If we instead choose the path of ehsaan, we let go of our own emotional burdens and we permit ourselves to enjoy a better quality of relationship. Alhamdulillah, this message is indeed one in a million. It is exceptionally beautiful to hear that the teachings of our beloved Nabi saw are being actively applied in today's time. A final word, the shift begins with us in tiny steps and restart by purifying our intention....Oh my Creator, I am doing this overlooking, even though it feels hard right now only for Your pleasure....You have promised my reward for it. The rest will fall into place from Allah directly InshaAllah. Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians
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Who is Allah? – Life With Allah
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Do you know how great Allah is? Our limited minds are unable to fully comprehend the greatness of Allah. However, we can attempt to appreciate His Greatness by pondering over: (1) His creation, (2) and His words (the Qur’ān).Watch this inspiring video about the greatness of Allah by Shaykh Ahmed Ali.
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2nd August 2024 The Nakba (catastrophe) continues in Gaza....11 months of non-stop violence, brutal ethnic cleansing, mass displacement, destruction of schools and universities, hospitals, all infrastructure, homes....
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Homosexual Inclinations Sayyiduna Abdullah Ibn Abbas radiyallahuma anhu reported that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “…May Allah’s curse be upon those who do the action of the people of Lut.” [Nabi (sallallahu’alayhi wasallam) repeated this curse thrice!] [Sahih Ibn Hibban] _____________________________________ Question I am a Muslim male who was very ‘normal’ in my nature until recently. Having watched a movie which explicitly encouraged homosexuality, I now find myself strongly attracted to other males, to the extent that it is extremely difficult to restrain the desire to engage in Haraam. I am overcome with remorse and very ashamed of these feelings and also afraid of giving into my desires, knowing that this is a very major sin. Please help. Reply Respected Brother in Islam, Wa-alaykumus Salaam wa-Rahmatullahi wa-Barakaatuh 1. Thoughts should be ignored, but if these feelings are being entertained, then effort has to be made in diverting the attention. 2. Being ashamed of one’s sins and wanting to keep them concealed is a sign of Imaan. Of course, this does not mean that a Muslim continues secretly indulging in disobedience to Allah Ta’ala and makes no effort of giving it up. 3. Often, the cause of boys / men suddenly feeling inclined and attracted to other men is due to watching some film/movie with such a content (i.e. of homosexuality). Due to the promotion and condoning and encouragement and the effects of such viewing, even an otherwise normal male will begin having such evil thoughts and desires in respect to other men. Others too have written of such experiences, so you are not alone in your anguish. For example: a teacher wrote to me, stating that he was a “normal” Muslim male – who had a complete aversion to homosexuality. However, after viewing just one film on homosexuality, found himself overcome with lust when it came to his male students, and he too was overcome with fear that he must not fall into the sin. He found himself very weak to the demands of his evil desires, but was also making every effort to curb them. And yet prior to viewing this film, he was sickened at the sin. So it was one movie that triggered off such a volatile situation in his personal and spiritual life. …May Allah Ta’ala save all. 4. Make the effort of reading 2 Rakaats of Salaatut Taubah and Salaatul Haajah every day, with sincere dua thereafter that Allah Ta’ala forgive and change your feelings and protect you from the mischief of nafs and shaytaan. 5. Keep reading: ‘Ya Hayyu Ya Qayyum - Laa ilaaha illa anta Subhanaka inni kuntu minaz zaalimeen' 6. Continue meditating over the punishment that was meted out to the people of Lut Alayhis Salaam and the Shar’ee punishments for the person engaging in the act; together with the fact that indulgence in the sin is such which draws the curses of Allah Ta’ala and Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) - and a person under such a curse is deprived altogether of the Mercy of Allah Ta’ala. {May Allah Ta’ala protect us} 7. Try and give Sadaqah in some form, on a daily basis, with the intention that Allah Ta’ala grant complete change in your feelings and protect you. 8. If Zam Zam is available, then drink it with the intention of cure from your evil desires – for Zam Zam is a cure for whatever is intended when drinking it. 9. Also, lower your gaze when it comes to such young boys/handsome men, where you fear there will be some kind of attraction. Don’t be alone with anyone. 10. Keep yourself occupied. Even when retiring to bed, try to just listen to some Zikr or Naath Shareef until you fall off to sleep. 11. Try and sleep in a state of Wudhu, read the Masnoon duas and Ayatul Kursi. 12. These are actually the whisperings, encouragement and deception of shaytaan and nafs. Both are trying to deceive and convince you that this is your nature, so that shaytaan can ruin your worldly life and your Hereafter, and the nafs can get some temporary gratification, not considering consequences – i.e. its own humiliation and disgrace. With effort and striving, you will, Insha-Allah, overcome both of them. 13. At least you feel remorse over your weakness. Consider the effort you are now making to address your weakness and to come out of the sin, as a sign that Allah Ta’ala is with you and He will support and assist you in your efforts to give it up. 14. May Allah Ta’ala grant complete shifa from this sickness, protect you from any Haraam indulgence and purify you of such evil feelings. Was-Salaamu alaykum wa-Rahmatullahi wa-Barakaatuhu Moulana Yunus Patel (Rahimahullah) Jamiatul Ulama (KZN) Council of Muslim Theologians