SAFAH

Those strange Muslims (Part I) Us Muslims are strange, but in a good way. We have so many little things taught to us by our Prophet (peace be upon him} which we try our best to implement in our daily lives. Obviously, most of these things are not very apparent to outsiders. However, sometimes you may come across a Muslim who is practicing his or her religion, but you find the act or behavior very strange. I'll mention a few things that we practice that might appear strange to Non-Muslims. One very important rule in Islam is that Muslims cannot shake hands with the opposite gender (or touch them, for that matter). So, say, if you are a male interviewer and a Muslim lady in hijab and jilbab (the long outer garment that covers the body) walks in for the interview, it's best not to extend your hand. But, let's assume you forgot or you weren't aware of this, and you offer the handshake, please don't be offended if she politely refuses the handshake. It's not that she's having a bad day or she thinks your fingers are odd-shaped, she's just trying to follow her religion. (Just to let you know, we actually practice how to most politely refuse the handshake without appearing to be impolite, in case the interviewer is of the opposite gender). Same thing goes for men, too. They can't shake hands with women. Of course, we can shake hands of our mothers, sisters, aunts, etc., (for men) and fathers, brothers, uncles, etc., (for women) because they are our close relatives. And, obviously, women can shake women's hands, and men...yeah, you guessed it. So, what's the reason for this? Imagine, if you had a very rare diamond, you most likely wouldn't want people touching it, except those who are very close to you. Well, our mothers, sisters, wives, etc., are even more precious to us than all the diamonds in the world! We believe women are so precious that only their close relatives have the right to touch them. Another thing that you might encounter is a Muslim praying. If you have never seen a Muslim praying, you can just look it up on YouTube to familiarize yourself with it. So, don't be alarmed if you see a bearded man bowing and prostrating several times. Relax, he's just praying. I've heard people even call the police just because they thought a group of Muslim men praying was "suspicious activity." When it's time for prayers and we're not at home, then really, we can pray almost anywhere - on the sidewalk, at the office, public park, the beach, the airport, even the airplane! Oh, and we're not allowed to talk while we're praying. Prayer is one of the most important act of worship for a Muslim. So, when the time for prayer comes in, stop, drop (everything), and pray! Something else you might see is that Muslim men wear their pants above the ankles. This might not be very obvious and not many Muslim [men] practice this, but it is something taught to us by the Prophet (peace be upon him). So, there is a chance you might come across a Muslim man who, on a cold day (or any day), is wearing his lower garment above his ankles. This is how the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to wear his lower garment and we love him so much that we try to emulate him in every way we can. The best part is, all of this is rewarded! These are some of the "strange" things we do. But, in reality, they are not really that strange if you understand the purpose behind them. So, I hope this brief article has given you some insights in to Islamic lifestyle. More to come on Part II, Insha'Allah. Carrying on from Part I on the list of "strange" things us Muslims do, here are some more things that you are likely to find very interesting. Remember us praying? Well, before we pray we have to make (wudu) ablution to spiritually and physically clean ourselves. Just like praying, you can even look this up on YouTube (what can't you look up on YouTube these days?) To be honest, you might never see a Muslim making wudu, unless you work with a Muslim in an office environment or go to school/college with lots of Muslim students. Nevertheless, since making wudu is a prerequisite of praying, and like I said, we can pray almost anywhere, we need to find a way to make wudu. I, personally, have made wudu at work and in college. I don't think anyone has seen me making wudu at work, but at college, it's very common. Non-Muslim students come in and out and they see us washing our face, hands up to the elbow, the head, and...the feet! It's so common that even if someone is on the next sink, they don't even look at you like you're doing something strange, which is a very positive thing about living in a large diverse city. People are generally open-minded. When it comes to eating, like Jews who are supposed to eat only Kosher food, Muslims only eat Halal food. I am sure, if you live in New York City, you have definitely seen those halal carts, right? That's exactly what I am talking about. So, now for example, let's say you have a Muslim friend and you both waltz in at your local McDonald's. You are standing there ordering bacon and chicken, while your friend is ordering a veggie sandwich, he's most likely doing that because he can't eat that meat. For meat to be Halal, it has to be slaughtered according to set Islamic guidelines. Very few fast food chains in the West offer Halal meat. There are, however, many Muslim owned restaurants and they are growing. Alhamdulillah. By the way, halal meat and "un-halal" meat taste the same, if you were wondering what's the difference. It's just that we slaughter the animal differently. Also, alcohol, beer, wine, vodka, all of these things are out of the question, as well. They are impermissible and we all know the harm in them. Some time back, I was offered to come and have lunch with wine with someone at work. I told him I brought my lunch (or in other words, "No, thanks, man!"). My lunch was Chicken Gyro from halal cart! Another thing that I can think of, and also very important, is that we are commanded to lower our gaze. By "lower our gaze," what I mean is that we are not allowed to look at the opposite gender. Yes, this is very difficult for almost all of us. I'm sure you can imagine how hard it can be to try and avert our sights when there are men and women walking everywhere. The hardest part is that, living in the Western world, it's very usual to see people dressed in revealing clothes during the warmer part of the year. This is one of the biggest challenges for us. The reason for this? Well, amongst other reason, as a man, it's right for me to respect the body of another woman. This is one of the reason why Muslim women cover their bodies. So, for those women, Muslim or not, who do not cover their bodies, it is our responsibility to lower our gazes as a sign of respect. Lastly, and this might sound really, really strange, Muslims are NOT allowed to have boyfriends or girlfriends. Now, you're probably thinking, how do you get married, then? There are things we are allowed to do when it comes to marriage and there are things which are outside the boundary. For example, one can meet, see, ask questions, discuss relevant issues, etc., to a potential spouse just to get to know them. However, there's a fine line between meeting someone and having any sort of pre-marital relationship which we all know can lead to a lot of other "things." In marriage, the love, understanding, trust, happiness, security, comfort, and of course, children, all come after marriage when the couple live together. Now, some people might think that if you don't know someone beforehand, then your marriage is likely to fail. Well, that's not the case. I and hundreds and thousands of other Muslims can reassure you that our families and other couples we know have successful marriages without dating or having any sort of pre-marital relationships. And, let's be honest, there are thousands of couples who have done everything from dating to having kids before tying the knot, yet these marriages end up in divorce. Plus, the divorce rates are insanely high nowadays. I hope you enjoyed this mini-series on "strange" things Muslims do and I am sure it has given you a different perspective on many of the things we do. So, next time if you come across someone doing any of the above, you know why. Article submitted by Brother Anonymous.

There are many ways to Jannah… its our duty to know them so that we may choose the correct paths the way Allah wants us to follow… May Allah AlHayyul Kayyum guide all of us with His hidayah… 1. First and foremost.. stay away from shirk… we need to know what is shirk and how it leads us to shirk… so that we may be on-guard not to fall into this category.. knowingly or out of ignorance… since ignorance is the root to all evil.. thats why it is our duty to seek knowledge.. know the ahadith very well… thats why it is important for us to follow the sunnah of Rasulullah saws.. one who refuses to follow Him.. is not part of his Ummah… if we refuse to follow his examples… tell me… whose example should we follow… 2. Love Allah and His Messenger as your first priority… hold on to the rope of Allah, ie follow the Quran and sunnah of His Rasul saws … and do everything for the sake of Allah only… 3. Love and hate for the sake of Allah… make it a point to love and hate for the sake of Allah AlHayyul Kayyum.. Azza wa Jal.. whatever He forbades and hates… stay away from it … what Allah loves and what is halal .. take it.. what Allah hates… dont do it…. like arrogance, envy, injustice, etc… 4. Have faith in Allah… iman is faith… our faith can increase or decreace depending on the situation… eg… most of our faith will increase during month of Ramadhan… iman must come with amal soleh.. without amal soleh there will be no iman… Allah stress this statement more than one hundred times in the Holy Quran… Iman must come with amal soleh… so keep our iman high on the agenda… do check our faith daily… before sleeping… think what i have done today to please Allah.. 5. Memorize all the Attributes/Names of Allah… and their meanings.. Allah promises us Jannah if we can do it… the most grandest/majestic of all the names is Allah AlHayyum Kayyum.. use this attributes in your doa.. and He will InshaAllah grant your good request…6. Safe-guard our mouth and private part… Allah promises Jannah if we can avoid making fitnah, backbiting, lying etc and avoid zina and fornication… 7. Get rid of arrogance, envy and injustice… these are diseases of the heart… if we are arrogant we will be lowering our status same as iblis… because of his arrogance that led him to be disobedient to Allah…. in the hereafter Allah will make these arrogant people as small as the ant, people would step and trampled on them… 8. Be always thankful to Allah… those who dont thank the people… dont thank Allah… and never curse on food, the weather and time… these are from Allah… always be thankful… 9. Be khushuq in our prayer… one who takes a complete wudhu and pray with khushuq is better than one who prayed hundred times without khushuq… pray as though it is our last prayer… always remember death as it will soften our heart… and death can come at any moment…. and remember, the moment we are born… the process of dying begins… its getting nearer every day… not further away… remember… death is not the end but a beginning of a new life…Rasulullah saws said….our average life is between 60 to 70… if we live above 60, its a bonus from Allah… thank Allah every day for His Mercy…. 10. Be kind to all human beings and animals and avoid anger… maintain your kindness and humbleness at all times, to all the people and in any situation… 11. Pray to Allah for hidayah/guidance always… Allah has said Those whom I guide… no one can misguide.. and to those whom I misguide… no one can guide… always pray for Allahs guidance… we have limited access to our brain, our sub-councious mind is controlled by Allah… that is why you cannot control your dream… offcourse the dream has connection with what you think and do.. but the actual dream itself is from Allah… that is why when you pray… your mind is always wandering somewhere else… 12. It is compulsory for us to seek knowledge of our deen… and to spread the message of Islam… and if you can convert a non-Muslim to Islam… Allah promises Jannah for you… we can give them Islamic books to open their hearts… even pay zakat to them… and show our kindness to them as an examplary Muslim… 13. Say… surely… my prayer, my sacrifice, my life and my death is only for You Allah, Sustainer of the worlds… 14. Be a practicing Muslim… worship Allah with all honesty and sincerety… fear Allah as He sees us every second… we can enter Jannah only with the Mercy of Allah… it is not from our ibadah… but from the Mercy of Allah… 15. Before going to sleep… dont keep any grudges and forgive all the people… because to err is human and to forgive is divine… EVERY GOOD DEED IS A CHARITY…. WHEN THE HEART IS CORRUPT..THE WHOLE BODY WILL BE CORRUPTED. TO HAVE GOOD RELATION WITH ALLAH IS IMPORTANT…KNOWING HOW TO ACHIEVE THAT IS MORE IMPORTANT…

When you are overwhelmed and ready to give up, take one last push by seeking Allah's help. Sometimes, we are so focused on the task at hand, that we forget where the real source of strength comes from. Remember, when we face a problem together with Allah, the problem merely becomes an instrument of success. Know your priorities and the source of all your strength. Indeed my strength is in Allah, and my hope is from Allah, and my future depends on Allah. I will always seek things from Him, and I will always be satisfied of the outcome! [F.D]

Why do we suffer. Is there a purpose to all the suffering and hardships in your life? Certainly, as Allah has told us that no believer will be left with just saying I believe. [29:2] Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe," without being put to the test? [29:3] We have tested those before them, for God must distinguish those who are truthful, and He must expose the liars. [2:155] We will surely test you through some fear, hunger, and loss of money, lives, and crops. Give good news to the steadfast. To pass the test, the believer must maintain his trust that God only can relieve his hardship. The believer will maintain his prayer and call onto God. Hardship and adversity is also decreed by God as a cleansing of our souls for sins we have already committed. As a result, some of the bad things that happen to us are a direct result of sins we have committed. [42:30] Anything bad that happens to you is a consequence of your own deeds, and He overlooks many (of your sins). It can also be said that God, being the Most Just, would not punish us twice for the same sin. This means that the punishment we are given cleanses us and no further punishment is due. The concept of cleansing the human from sins in this life is a Quranic truth. It can be achieved through the experiencing of hardship and adversity (as 42:30), and it can also be through the payment of a “sadaqa” (charity) for the specific reason of cleansing the soul from sins which have been committed. [9:103] Take from their money a ‘sadaqa’ (charity) to purify and sanctify them. And encourage them, for your encouragement reassures them. God is Hearer, Omniscient. Suffering through hardship and adversity is also a reminder for people who tend to take things for granted and forget all of God’s blessings. Despite all the blessings given to the human by God, the human being is unappreciative. A little reminder in the shape of hardship or adversity may hopefully do the job of teaching the human not to take God’s blessings for granted. [14:34] If you count God's blessings, you can never encompass them. Indeed, the human being is transgressing, unappreciative. [41:51] When we bless the human being, he turns away, and drifts farther and farther away, and when he suffers any affliction, he implores loudly. Adversity and hardship is also a very effective reminder for those who are too much absorbed in the worldly life, and thus they may not be as devoted to God as they should be. Due to their being too preoccupied with this worldly life they do not seek God nor call on God as they should. Many people are either oblivious of, or need to be reminded of God’s absolute authority. Hardship and adversity are one way to remind them that no one can save them but God, and also remind them of God’s absolute authority. They also need to be reminded that they need God in every minute of their lives. Sadly when God relieves the adversity, many of them return to idol worship once again. [35:15] O people, you are the ones who need God, while God is in no need for anyone, the Most Praiseworthy. [39:49] If the human is touched by adversity, he implores us, but as soon as we bestow a blessing upon him, he says, "I attained this because of my cleverness!" Indeed, this is only a test, but most of them do not know. [10:12] When adversity touches the human being, he implores us while lying down, or sitting, or standing up. But as soon as we relieve his adversity, he goes on as if he never implored us to relieve any hardship! The works of the transgressors are thus adorned in their eyes.

Live a fulfilling life Don't wait to pray to Allah until you are overwhelmed with hardships, instead, pray to Allah during times of ease as well. A simple "Thank You" to Allah during times of ease is greater than many prayers during times of distress. Know your priorities, fulfill your duties, and never lose focus in your ultimate destination. Ignore falsehood, embrace the truth, and be a fountain of knowledge for others. Be a Muslim of faith, of peace, and of obedience. Embrace the will of Allah. Keep Him with every step you take. Choose Him over anything. And never do to others what you do not want done unto you! Be a symbol of peace and success. Be You! ─F.D

Do not lose your trust in Allah even in the darkest of times How many of us are stumbling in the dark, or sitting quietly in despair, not knowing where to turn? How many have giant boulders blocking our progress, preventing us from living happy lives? How many are stuck, immobilized like fish in a net? Sometimes we are so frustrated at our situations that we don't see that our problems themselves are tests and opportunities given by Allah. To develop as human beings, to become better people and move closer to Allah, we must experience hardships. That is a fundamental principle of our creation. Those are the rules. They are no different for us. “Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said, 'when is the help of Allah?’ Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near.” (Quran, Al-Baqarah, 2:214) In hardship lies opportunity. Adversity is the soil in which we grow. The challenge is to recognize that, and to know that Allah is very near, guiding us all along. Proud Muslimah

Fear of reality The biggest fear people have, and the one most important to overcome, is the fear of facing up to reality. People would rather live an illusion than wake up to reality. Why? Because if reality turns out to be something different than what we’re used to, it means having to change our course in life. And that hurts! We all choose to escape, now and then, from the effort that is involved in accomplishing life’s goals and ambitions. We all want to be great; we all want to change the world. It’s just that we don’t always feel like putting forth the effort. So we distract ourselves and escape from who we really are and what we want to achieve. The 48 Ways says: It hurts a lot more when reality confronts us, especially when it may be too late to do anything about it. Always ask yourself: “What pain am I avoiding?” Identify exactly what you’re afraid of. Reason it out: What’s the worst that could happen? As an exercise, make a list of the goals you’d love to achieve if no pain was involved. Then next to each goal, write down the amount of pain you anticipate in trying to reach those goals. Then, write down what makes the goal so worthwhile. Now compare the two columns. If a particular goal is truly worthwhile, then you’ll see instantly how your fear of pain is holding you back from achieving that goal. And it will clarify how you’d even be willing to pay the price of pain to achieve it! Proud Muslimah

1. Hadhrat Hasan Basri's mother was a servant of Rasulullah's ( صلى الله عايه وسالم) noble wife, Hadhrat Umm-e-Salmah (radhiyallahu anha). Sometimes during infancy when his mother was engaged in some service, he would cry. To pacify the infant, Hadhrat Umm-e-Salmah (radhiyallahu anha) would place her blessed breast in his mouth. The baby would suck and miraculously milk would emerge. It is said that the innumerable blessings acquired by Hadhrat Hasan Basri were the product of this milk of the holy household of Rasulullah ( صلى الله عايه وسالم) . Hadhrat Umm-e-Salmah (radhiyallahu anha)undertook the responsibility of caring for Hasan. She would always make dua: "O Allah! Make him the leader (i.e. spiritual leader) of men." 2. Once during childhood Hadhrat Hasan drank water from a mug in which water was left for Rasulullah ( صلى الله عايه وسالم) in the home of Hadhrat Umm-e-Salmah (radhiyallahu anha). When Rasulullah ( صلى الله عايه وسالم) enquired about the person who had drunk [drank or drunk?] from his mug, he was told that it was Hasan. Rasulullah ( صلى الله عايه وسالم) commented: "My knowledge will be diffused into him in proportion to the water he drank from the mug." Once Hadhrat Umm-e-Salmah (رضئ الله عنه )placed Hasan on Rasulullah's ( صلى الله عايه وسالم) lap. Rasulullah ( صلى الله عايه وسالم) made much dua for him. Thus, the greatness of Hadhrat Hasan Basri is attributable to all the spiritual blessings he gained from the holy household of Rasulullah ( صلى الله عايه وسالم) . 3. When Hadhrat Hasan was born he was brought to Hadhrat Umar (رضئ الله عنه )who said: "Name him Hasan because his face is so beautiful." (He was extremely handsome.) 4. Hadhrat Hasan Basri was a Taabi-ee who had the good fortune of meeting 120 Sahaabah among whom 70 were participants of the Battle of Badr. He was the mureed of Hadhrat Hasan, the son of Hadhrat Ali (رضئ الله عنه ). According to another version recorded in Tuhfah, it is said that he was the mureed of Hadhrat Ali (رضئ الله عنه )who had conferred on him the mantle of spiritual mentorship (i.e. made him his Khalifah in the spiritual realm). 5. The fear of Maut was so overwhelming in him that from the time of his youth when he pledged himself to prepare for the Aakhirah, he never laughed until death overtook him at the age of 70. 6. For his entire life, until the age of 70, he always remained with wudhu. 7. Once a Wali said: "Hasan has surpassed us all because the whole creation is in need of his knowledge while he needs none besides Allah Ta'ala. He is therefore our chief." 8. Hadhrat Hasan was asked: "What is the meaning of Islam and who is a Muslim?" He replied: "Islam is in the books and Muslims are in the grave." 9. When asked: "What is pure Deen?", he said; "Piety". People asked: "What destroys piety?" He said: "Greed and desire." 10. Hadhrat Hasan said that an ill physician (i.e. spiritual mentor) should first treat himself before treating others (i.e. he should first reform himself morally and spiritually). 11. People complained: "Our hearts are asleep, hence your advices do not benefit us." Hadhrat Hasan said: "Your hearts are dead. A sleeping person can be woken up, but a dead man cannot be aroused." 12. Someone said to Hadhrat Hasan: "Some people overwhelm our heart with fear with their talks." (He was referring to the advices of Hadhrat Hasan.) He replied: "It is better today to be in the company of those who instil fear in you so that tomorrow on the Day of Qiyaamah you will have hope in the mercy of Allah." 13. A man said to him: "Some people find fault with your statements and criticize you." Hadhrat Hasan replied: "I find myself full of fault. While I am searching for Divine Proximity, I cherish the desire for Jannat. But both these attitudes are contradictory. Furthermore, I do not hope to be immune from the criticism of people. Even Allah Ta'ala, The Absolute One, has not been spared by their tongues." (Although the wish or desire for both Jannat and nearness to Allah Ta'ala are in reality not negatory or contradictory, the exceptionally lofty spiritual status and proximity of the Auliyaa preclude them from all motives except the Goal of Divine Proximity. Their worship of Allah is neither for fear of Jahannum nor for the hope of Jannat. Their gaze is focussed on only Allah's Pleasure.) 14. It was said: "Some say that preaching (giving naseehat) to people should be embarked on only after one has become morally purified." Hadhrat Hasan commented: "Shaitaan desires that the door of Amr Bil Ma'roof Nahyi anil munkar (commanding righteousness and prohibiting evil) be closed." 15. Once while Hadhrat Hasan was lecturing, the tyrant Hajjaaj with his unsheathed sword and army arrived. A pious man present in the gathering said to himself: "Today is a test for Hasan. Will Hasan proclaim his naseehat in the presence of Hajjaaj or will he resort to flattery?" Hajjaaj sat down in the gathering. However, Hadhrat Hasan did not pay the slightest attention and continued his talk. Hajjaaj's presence did not exercise the slightest influence on him. He did not even look at Hajjaaj. The pious man said: "Indeed, Hasan is hasan (i.e. beautiful)." On the termination of the lecture, Hajjaaj went forward. Kissing the hand of Hadhrat Hasan, he said: "If you wish to see a man, look at Hasan." 16. Once Hadhrat Ali (رضئ الله عنه )spent three days in Basrah. He had issued an order prohibiting lectures in the Musaajid. When he attended a gathering of Hadhrat Hasan he found him giving a lecture. Hadhrat Ali (رضئ الله عنه )interrogated him: "Are you an Aalim or a student?" Hadhrat Hasan replied: "I am neither an Aalim nor a student. However, I deliver the words of Rasulullah ( صلى الله عايه وسالم) which have reached me." On hearing this reply Hadhrat Ali (رضئ الله عنه )left without preventing Hadhrat Hasan from lecturing. When he was told that his interrogator was Hadhrat Ali (رضئ الله عنه ), he descended from the mimbar and went in search of Hadhrat Ali (رضئ الله عنه ). When he linked up with Hadhrat Ali (رضئ الله عنه ), he (Hadhrat Hasan) said: "For Allah's sake teach me how to make wudhu." A container of water was brought and Hadhrat Ali (رضئ الله عنه )demonstrated the method of making wudhu. Since that time that spot is known as Baabut Tasht (Portal of the Basin). 17. Once during a severe drought in Basrah, two hundred thousand people gathered on the outskirts for Salatul Istisqa (to pray for rain). A mimbar was set up and Hadhrat Hasan was requested to mount it and supplicate for rain. He said: "If you wish for rain, expel me from Basrah." (His humility constrained him to believe that he was the cause of the drought. Droughts are generally the consequences of the sins of people.) 18. One day Hadhrat Hasan heard the Hadith which says that the very last man of this Ummah to emerge from Jahannum after 80 years will be a person named Hannaad. Hadhrat Hasan lamented:"I wish Hasan was that man." (The degree of his humility and overwhelming fear created in him the perception that he (i.e. Hadhrat Hasan) may never emerge from Jahannum. Therefore, if he was Hannaad, his salvation was ensured.) 19. Once when he spent the entire night weeping, he was asked: "Hadhrat, why do you weep so much inspite of being such an Aabid (worshipper) and Muttaqi (pious)?" Hadhrat Hasan said:"I fear that I may have committed such a deed which negates my ibaadat. As a result of it Allah Ta'ala may say: 'Hasan! You have no position by Us. None of your acts of worship is acceptable." 20. Once he accompanied a janaazah. After the burial he cried profusely and said:"O people! Know that the end of this world and the beginning of the Hereafter are this grave. The Hadith says that the qabr is a station among the stations of the Aakhirah. Why do you love a world whose end is the grave? Why do you not fear the world of the Aakhirah the beginning of which is the grave? This is your ending and your beginning." 21. During his childhood he had committed a sin. Whenever he had a new kurtah sewn, he would write a reminder (of the sin) on it. This reminder constantly reduced him to tears. 22. Once the Khalifah, Hadhrat Umar Bin Abdul Aziz (rahmatullah alayh) wrote a letter requesting some naseehat. Hadhrat Hasan (rahmatullah alayh) responded: "If Allah is not your hepler, have no hope in anyone." On another occasion he wrote: "Know that the day after which there will no longer be this world (the Aakhirah) is near." 23. When Hadhrat Bishr Haafi (rahmatullah alayh) learnt that Hadhrat Hasan (rahmatullah alayh) was proceeding for Hajj, he wrote requesting permission to accompany him (Hadhrat Hasan). In response, Hadhrat Hasan wrote: "Forgive me (i.e. he declined permission). I wish to remain in Allah's veil of concealment. If we are together, we shall become aware of our mutual defects and think ill of one another." (Although these illustrious Souls never despised anyone on account of sins and defects, Hadhrat Hasan presented this pretext for his desire of solitude. Travelling with a contemporary would be an encumbrance which would disturb the solace of his solitude.) 24. Counselling Hadhrat Saeed Bin Jubair (rahmatullah alayh), Hadhrat Hasan said: "Never enter into companionship with kings. Never reveal your secrets to anyone. Never listen to music. The end result is always calamitous." 25. Hadhrat Maalik Bin Dinaar (rahmatullah alayh) asked: "In what lies the corruption of the people?" Hadhrat Hasan: "In the death of the heart." Maalik Bin Dinaar: "What is the death of the heart." Hadhrat Hasan: "The love of the world." 26. Once Hadhrat Abdullah (rahmatullah alayh) went to the home of Hadhrat Hasan (rahmatullah alayh) for Fajr Salaat. When he arrived at the door he heard Hadhrat Hasan making dua and a group responding 'Aameen, Aameen'. He waited outside until it was Fajr time. When he entered he found Hadhrat Hasan alone. After Salaat, Hadhrat Abdullah enquired about the mystery. He first took a pledge of secrecy from him, then informed Hadhrat Abdullah that every Friday night a group of jinn attended for lessons. After lessons when dua is made they responded with 'Aameen'. 27. Qaari Abu Amr was a famous teacher of the Qur'aan. Once he cast a gaze of lust on a handsome lad who had come to learn the Qur'aan. In consequence of this evil glance Abu Amr forgot the entire Qur'aan. From the Alif of to the Seen of , the entire Qur'aan departed from his heart. His shock and grief were unbearable. He explained this calamity to Hadhrat Hasan who said: "It is now the time of Hajj. Perform Hajj. After Hajj proceed to Musjid-e-Khaif where you will find an old man sitting in the mihraab in worship. After he completes his ibaadat ask him to make dua for you. After Hajj when Abu Amr entered Musjid-e-Khaif he saw a group of people inside. Shortly afterwards a saintly person entered. Everyone regarded him with honour and reverence. After counselling the group, the saintly person and all others except the old man departed. Abu Amr stepped forward and narrated the calamity which had befallen him. The buzrug raised his eyes towards heaven in supplication. To his wonder and joy Abu Amr discovered that the Qur'aan Shareef had returned to his heart. In sheer joy and ecstasy he fell at the feet of the buzrug who asked: "Who directed you to me?" Abu Amr: "Hasan Basri." The Buzrug: "Hasan has disgraced me. Now I too shall disgrace him. He has revealed my secret. I too shall reveal his secret. The buzrug whom you had seen at the time of Zuhr (the one who had lectured to the group) was Hasan Basri. He comes daily to us. Discusses with us and by Asr he is back in Basrah. What need did he have to direct you to me?" (In other words, Hadhrat Hasan being such a great saint could have made dua for Abu Amr instead of directing him to the buzrug in Musjid-e-Khaif thereby exposing him.) 28. A man in need once brought his horse to Hadhrat Hasan and offered it for sale. Hadhrat Hasan bought the horse. That night the former owner of the horse saw the horse together with a few hundred horses grazing in Jannat. On making enquiries, the Angels informed him: "These horses had belonged to you. Now they are the property of Hasan." In the morning the man hastened to Hadhrat Hasan and implored him to cancel the sale. He offered to refund the money. Hadhrat Hasan refusing, said: "I have also seen the dream you had seen." The man departed with a heavy heart. During the night Hadhrat Hasan saw in a dream beautiful palaces in Jannat. He asked: "To whom do these palaces belong?" The Angels said: "To the person who gladly cancels a sale." He sent for the man, cancelled the sale and returned the horse. 29. Hadhrat Hasan's neighbour, Sham'oon was a fire-worshipper. Sham'oon was in his death-throes. Hadhrat Hasan visited him. He observed that Sham'oon's face had darkened as a result of his years of fire-worshipping. Hadhrat Hasan: "Abandon fire-worship and become a Muslim. Perhaps Allah will have mercy on you." Sham'oon: "Three things have turned me away from Islam. One: The world according to you (Muslims) is evil, but you remain in its pursuit. Two: You believe that death is true, but you do not make preparations for it. Three: You claim the wonder of Allah's Vision, but on earth you act in conflict with His wishes." Hadhrat Hasan: "This is a sign of those who recognize the truth. The true Mu'min acts accordingly. But tell me, what have you gained by destroying your life in fire-worship? Even if a Mu'min does no good, at least he testifies to the Unity of Allah. You have worshipped the fire for seventy years. If you and I fall into the fire, it will burn us both without caring for your worship. However, my Allah has the power of preventing the fire from burning me." So saying, Hadhrat Hasan took Allah's Name and plunged his hand into the fire. He held his hand for a long time in the fire which had no effect on him. Seeing this, Sham'oon's heart opened up. The light of guidance had penetrated his heart. He said: "I have worshipped the fire for 70 years. What can I achieve in the few moments there remain of life?" Hadhrat Hasan: "Become a Muslim!" Sham'oon: "Write a document stating that if I embrace Islam, Allah will forgive me." Hadhrat Hasan wrote the document and presented it to Sham'oon who said: "Let the pious elders of Basrah endorse it with their signatures." This request was complied with. Sham'oon said:"O Hasan, when I die, give me ghusl and bury me. Place the document in my hand so that I have proof of my Islam." Sham'oon recited the Kalimah and died. His wasiyyat was fulfilled by Hadhrat Hasan. Hadhrat Hasan returned home overwhelmed by worry. He thought: "When I myself am immersed in sin, how could I have furnished a guarantee of forgiveness to another man?" In this distressful state he fell asleep. In a dream he saw Sham'oon donned in beautiful garments with a crown on his head strolling in Jannat. Hadhrat Hasan: "How did it fare with you?" Sham'oon: "Allah forgave me by His mercy. I am unable to explain the bounties He has bestowed to me. There now no longer remain on you any responsibility. Here take your document. I no longer have need of it." When Hadhrat Hasan's eyes opened he discovered the document in his hand. He profusely thanked Allah and said:"O Allah! You act without cause. Everything is dependent on Your act. When you have forgiven a man merely on one statement (the Kalimah) after he had worshipped the fire for seventy years, why will You not forgive a man who had worshipped you for seventy years?" (The boundless rahmat of Allah Ta'ala could be understood from the episode.) 30. Tawaadhu' (humility) was an outstanding attribute of Hadhrat Hasan. He considered himself inferior to everyone else. One day while walking along the bank of the river Dajlah he saw a Habshi (Abyssinian) with a woman and a wine-bottle. A thought crossed his mind: 'This man cannot be better than me because he is with a woman and consuming wine.' As the thought crossed his mind a boat with seven occupants appeared on the river. Suddenly the boat began sinking. Seeing the plight of the boat-people the Habshi dived into the water and safely brought out one person. He returned and brought out a second man. He continued his rescue until he had saved six people. Turning to Hadhrat Hasan, the Habshi said: "If you are better than me, then save the seventh one. O Imaam of the Muslims! This woman is my mother. The bottle contains water. I am here to test you. I have seen that you have failed the test." Hadhrat Hasan now realised that the Habshi was a close servant of Allah appointed to test him (Hasan). He fell at the Habshi's feet imploring: "Just as you have saved the six persons from drowning in the sea, save me from the sea of egotism and deception." The Habshi: "May Allah brighten your eyes (i.e. spiritual eyes)." Never again did Hadhrat Hasan regard himself better than any person. His state of humility reached such a pinnacle that once seeing a dog he supplicated:"O Allah! Accept me by virtue of this dog." 31. Once on seeing an intoxicated man swaying from side to side while walking in a muddy path, Hadhrat Hasan counselled: "Walk carefully otherwise you will slip." The man responded:"O Imaam of the Muslims! You walk carefully. If I slip, I alone fall. If you slip, the whole Ummah falls (i.e. strays from the Path of Truth)." This response made an indelible impression on the heart of Hasan Basri. 32. A lad was walking with a flame in his hand. Hadhrat Hasan Basri said to him: "From where did you get the flame?" The lad extinguished the flame and said: "Where has the flame gone?" 33. Once Hadhrat Hasan Basri said to his disciples:"If you should see the Sahaabah you would say that they are mad men and if they should see you, they would not consider you to be Muslims. They were horsemen flying like birds as swift as the wind while we are like those seated on the wounded backs of asses." 34. A Bedouin asked the meaning of sabr (patience). Hadhrat Hasan said: "Sabr is of two kinds. One: Sabr when calamity and misfortune strike. Two: Sabr regarding the prohibitions of Allah Ta'ala (i.e. restrain oneself from indulgence in the things prohibited by Allah Ta'ala)." 35. "A man should strive to acquire beneficial knowledge and excellent deeds accompanied by sincerity, contentment and beautiful patience. I cannot explain the lofty status which a man of this acquisition will gain on the day of Qiyaamah." 36. "A sheep is more alert than man. On hearing the call of the shepherd it stops grazing while man ignores the call of Allah for the sake of his desires." 37. "Ma'rifat (i.e. a high perception of divine recognition) is abandonment of lowly desires." 38. "Jannat cannot be attained merely by good deeds. Good intentions are essential." 39. "Fikr (contemplation) is a mirror in which good and bad are visible." 40. "Futile talk is evil. Silence devoid of fikr is futility and disgraceful." 41. "It is mentioned in the Tauraah that a man who adopts qanaa-at (contentment) becomes independent of all people; whoever adopts solitude, finds safety; whoever shuns lowly desires is emancipated; whoever abandons hasad (jealousy) has discovered friendship; whoever spends his life in sabr has found [page 31]." Re: p73 bk2 42. "Wara' (piety) has three stages: To speak the truth even in anger; abstention from the prohibitions of Allah Ta'ala; constancy in the execution of Allah's commands." 43. "A little piety is better than a thousand years of (Nafl) Saum and Salaat." 44. "Contemplation (fikr) and wara' (piety) are the noblest deeds." 45. "Nifaaq (hypocrisy) is the contradiction between the baatin (the heart / intentions) and the zaahir (verbal proclamation)." 46. "All true Mu'mins who have passed away had the fear of having nifaaq in them." 47. "The compensation for gheebat (speaking ill of people in their absence) is istighfaar (i.e. to seek forgiveness from Allah Ta'ala)." (If the person is aware of the gheebat, it will also be necessary to seek forgiveness from him.) 48. "Man will have to give a reckoning for the halaal and haraam of this world in which he had participated." 49. "Every person (i.e. with love of the world in his heart) will depart from this world with three regrets: (1) His desire for accumulation of wealth will be unfulfilled. (2) Unrealized goals. (3) Having made no preparations for the journey of the Hereafter." 50. Someone reported to Hasan Basri that a certain man was in his death throes. He commented: "He was in his death throes since his appearance on earth. He will now be released." 51. "He who has no love of the world will be saved. The one entrapped in the world is ruined. Those who are not proud of the bounties of the world will be forgiven." 52. "An intelligent man abandons the world and develops the Aakhirah." 53. "In this world there is no animal more rebellious than the nafs." 54. "Allah disgraces a man who honours (loves) gold and silver." 55. "A man who regards himself as a leader of the community is astray." 56. "A man who narrates the defects of others to you, will most assuredly narrate your defects to others." 57. Once when Hasan Basri saw a man eating in the qabrustaan (cemetery), he said: "This man is a munaafiq (hypocrite). A man whose desires agitate in the presence of the dead has no belief in Maut and the Aakhirah. Whoever does not believe in Maut and the Aakhirah is a munaafiq." 58. On the night that Hadhrat Hasan Basri (rahmatullah alayh) died, a buzrug saw in a dream the portals of the heaven opening and a voice proclaimed: "Hasan Basri has reached Allah Ta'ala." Taken from Ahmed's World of Islam .

Asalamalikum. So when are those lessons starting?

The Question of Hijab: Suppression Or Liberation? "Why do Muslim women have to cover their heads?" This question is one which is asked by Muslim and non-Muslim alike. For many women it is the truest test of being a Muslim. The answer to the question is very simple - Muslim women observe HIJAB (covering the head and the body) because Allah has told them to do so. "O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women to draw their outer garments around them (when they go out or are among men). That is better in order that they may be known (to be Muslims) and not annoyed..." [Noble Quran 33:59] Other secondary reasons include the requirement for modesty in both men and women. Both will then be evaluated for intelligence and skills instead of looks and sexuality. An Iranian school girl is quoted as saying, "We want to stop men from treating us like sex objects, as they have always done. We want them to ignore our appearance and to be attentive to our personalities and mind. We want them to take us seriously and treat us as equals and not just chase us around for our bodies and physical looks." A Muslim woman who covers her head is making a statement about her identity. Anyone who sees her will know that she is a Muslim and has a good moral character. Many Muslim women who cover are filled with dignity and self esteem; they are pleased to be identified as a Muslim woman. As a chaste, modest, pure woman, she does not want her sexuality to enter into interactions with men in the smallest degree. A woman who covers herself is concealing her sexuality but allowing her femininity to be brought out. The question of Hijab for Muslim women has been a controversy for centuries and will probably continue for many more. Some learned people do not consider the subject open to discussion and consider that covering the face is required, while a majority are of the opinion that it is not required. A middle line position is taken by some who claim that the instructions are vague and open to individual discretion depending on the situation. The wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) were required to cover their faces so that men would not think of them in sexual terms since they were the "Mothers of the Believers," but this requirement was not extended to other women. The word "Hijab" comes from the Arabic word "hajaba" meaning to hide from view or conceal. In the present time, the context of Hijab is the modest covering of a Muslim woman. The question now is what is the extent of the covering? The Quran says: "Say to the believing man that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them; and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; and that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands..." [Noble Quran 24:30-31] These verses from the Quran contain two main injunctions: A woman should not show her beauty or adornments except what appears by uncontrolled factors such as the wind blowing her clothes, and the head covers should be drawn so as to cover the hair, the neck and the bosom. Islam has no fixed standard as to the style of dress or type of clothing that Muslims must wear. However, some requirements must be met. The first of these requirements is the parts of the body which must be covered. Islam has two sources for guidance and rulings: first, the Quran, the revealed word of Allah and secondly, the Hadith or the traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) who was chosen by Allah to be the role model for mankind. The following is a Tradition of the Prophet: "Ayshah reported that Asma' the daughter of Abu Bakr came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) while wearing thin clothing. He approached her and said: 'O Asma'! When a girl reaches the menstrual age, it is not properthat anything should remain exposed except this and this. He pointed to theface and hands." [Abu Dawud] The second requirement is looseness. The clothing must be loose enough so as not to describe the shape of the woman's body. One desirable way to hide the shape of the body is to wear a cloak over other clothes. However, if the clothing is loose enough, an outer garment is not necessary. Thickness is the third requirement. The clothing must be thick enough so as not to show the color of the skin it covers or the shape of the body. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) stated that in later generations of his Ummah there would be "women who would be dressed but naked and on top of their heads (what looks like) camel humps. Curse them for they are truly cursed." [Muslim] Another requirement is an over-all dignified appearance. The clothing should not attract men's attention to the woman. It should not be shiny and flashy so that everyone notices the dress and the woman. In addition there are other requirements: Women must not dress so as to appear as men. "Ibn Abbas narrated: 'The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the men who appear like women and the women who appear like men.'" [bukhari] Women should not dress in a way similar to the unbelievers. The clothing should be modest, not excessively fancy and also not excessively ragged to gain others admiration or sympathy. Often forgotten is the fact that modern Western dress is a new invention. Looking at the clothing of women as recently as seventy years ago, we see clothing similar to Hijab. These active and hard-working women of the West were not inhibited by their clothing which consisted of long, full dresses and various types of head covering. Muslim women who wear Hijab do not find it impractical or interfering with their activities in all levels and walks of life. Hijab is not merely a covering dress but more importantly, it is behavior, manners, speech and appearance in public. Dress is only one facet of the total being. The basic requirement of the Muslim woman's dress apply to the Muslim man's clothing with the difference being mainly in degree. Modesty requires that the area between the navel and the knee be covered in front of all people except the wife. The clothing of men should not be like the dress of women, nor should it be tight or provocative. A Muslim should dress to show his identity as a Muslim. Men are not allowed to wear gold or silk. However, both are allowed for women. For both men and women, clothing requirements are not meant to be a restriction but rather a way in which society will function in a proper, Islamic manner.

Forced Marriages Imam Ibn Taymiyyah Fatwa from "Al-Masa'il ul-Mardiniyyah" Translated by Abu `Abdullah Muhammad al-Jibali May a father force his virgin daughter who attained puberty to marry? Two well-known opinions in this regard are reported from Ahmad: That he may compel her. This is also the opinion of Malik, ash-Shafi`i, and others. That he may not. This is also the opinion of Abu Hanifah and others, and is the correct one. People have differed as tot he reason permitting the compulsion: whether it is virginity, the daughter being under-aged, or a combination of both. The closest opinion to the truth is her being under-aged, whereas no one can compel a grown-up virgin in marriage. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others] Thus the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), prohibits forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether it be her father or someone else. Furthermore, Ayshah said that she asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied, "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said, "But a virgin will be shy, O Allah's Messenger." He answered: "Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others] This applies to the father as well as others. Furthermore, Islam does not give the father the right to use any of her wealth without her permission, how then could he be allowed to decide, without her permission, how her body (which is more important than her wealth) is to be used, specially when she disagrees to that and is mature to decide for herself? Also, there is evidence and consensus in Islam to restrict an underage person's free control of his wealth or person. However, to make a virginity a reason for the restriction contradicts the Islamic basis. As for the difference between the non-virgin and virgin in the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), it is not a differentiation between compulsion and non-compulsion; the difference between the two cases is that (a) the former gives her instructions for the marriage whereas the latter gives permission, and that (b) the virgin's silence counts as a permission. The reason for this is that a virgin would be shy to discuss the matter of marriage, so she is not proposed to directly; rather, her walee (guardian) is approached, he takes her permission, and then she gives him the permission not the command to marry her. And as for a non-virgin, she would not have the shyness of virginity anymore; thus she can discuss the matter of her marriage, she can be proposed to, and she gives the command to her wali to perform the marriage, and he must obey her. Thus the wali is command-executor in the case of the non-virgin, and is permission-seeker in the case of the virgin. This is what the Prophet's words indicate. As for compelling her to marry despite her loathing to do so, this would contradict the fundamentals and reason. Allah did not permit a wali to force her to sell or rent her property without her permission. Neither did He permit him to force her to eat or drink or wear that which she does not wish. How would He then oblige her to accompany and copulate with a person whose company she hates - at the time when Allah has sent between the two spouses love and mercy? If such company happens despite her hatred and repulsion, where is the love and mercy?

Marriage Prof. 'Abdur Rahman I. Doi Professor and Director, Center for Islamic Legal Studies, Ahmadu Bello University, Zaira, Nigeria. Importance of Marriage in Islam Allah has created men and women as company for one another, and so that they can procreate and live in peace and tranquility according to the commandments of Allah and the directions of His Messenger. The Quran says: "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect." [Noble Quran 30:21] "And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best." [Noble Quran 16:72] These verses of the Noble Quran clearly show that in contrast to other religions like Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism etc. which consider celibacy or monasticism as a great virtue and a means of salvation, Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) declared, "There is no monasticism in Islam." He further ordained, "O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." [Al-Bukhari] Modesty was regarded as a great virtue by the Prophet. He said, "Modesty is part of faith." [Al-Bukhari] The importance of the institution or marriage receives its greatest emphasis from the following Hadith of the Prophet, "Marriage is my sunnah. Whosoever keeps away from it is not from me." With these Quranic injunctions and the guidance from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in mind, we shall examine the institution of marriage in the Shari'ah. The word Zawaj is used in the Quran to signify a pair or a mate. But in common parlance it stands for marriage. Since the family is the nucleus of Islamic society, and marriage is the only way to bring families into existence, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) insisted upon his followers entering into marriage The Shari'ah prescribes rules to regulate the functioning of the family so that both spouses can live together in love, security, and tranquility. Marriage in Islam has aspects of both 'Ibadah (worship) of Allah and mu'amalah (transactions between human beings). In its 'Ibadah aspect, marriage is an act pleasing to Allah because it is in accordance with his commandments that husband and wife love each other and help each other to make efforts to continue the human race and rear and nurse their children to become true servants of Allah. In its mu'amalah aspect, marriage being a lawful response to the basic biological instinct to have sexual intercourse and to procreate children, the Shari'ah has prescribed detailed rules for translating this response into a living human institution reinforced by a whole framework of legally enforceable rights and duties, not only of the spouses, but also of their offspring. These aspects are beautifully explained in a tradition of the Prophet. It is narrated by Anas that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." The Prophet considered marriage for a Muslim as half of his religion because it shields him from promiscuity, adultery, fornication, homosexuality etc., which ultimately lead to many other evils like slander, quarreling, homicide, loss of property and disintegration of the family. According to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) the remaining half of the faith can be saved by Taqwa. Conditions of Marriage Careful consideration of the Quranic injunctions and the traditions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) clearly show that marriage is compulsory (wajib) for a man who has the means to easily pay the Mahr (dowry) and to support a wife and children, and is healthy, and fears that if does not marry, he may be tempted to commit fornication (Zina). It is also compulsory for a woman who has no other means of maintaining herself and who fears that her sexual urge may push her into fornication. But even for a person who has a strong will to control his sexual desire, who has no wish to have children, and who feels that marriage will keep him away from his devotion to Allah, it is commendable (Mandub). However, according to the Maliki school, under certain conditions it is obligatory (fard) for a Muslim to marry even if he is not in a position to earn his living: If he fears that by not marrying he will commit fornication (Zina). If he is unable to fast to control his passions or his fasting does not help him to refrain from Zina. Even if he is unable to find a slave girl or a destitute girl to marry. However some jurists suggest that if a man cannot procure a lawful livelihood, he must not marry because if he marries without any hope of getting lawful bread, he may commit theft, and in order to avoid one evil (his passions) he may become the victim of another (theft). The Hanafi school considers marriage as obligatory (fard) for a man: If he is sure that he will commit Zina if he does not marry. If he cannot fast to control his passions or even if he can fast, his fast does not help him to control his passion. If he cannot get a slave-girl to marry. If he is able to pay the dowry (Mahr) and to earn a lawful livelihood. Marriage is forbidden (Haram) to a man, according to the Hanafi school, if he does not possess the means to maintain his wife and children or if he suffers from an illness, serious enough to affect his wife and progeny. It is not desirable (makruh) for a man who possesses no sexual desire at all or who has no love for children or who is sure to be slackened in his religious obligations as a result of marriage. In order that problems should not arise after marriage the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) recommended that, in the selection of his bride, a man should see her before betrothal lest blindness of choice or an error of judgment should defeat the very purpose of marriage. But this "seeing" is not to be taken as a substitute for the "courtship" of the West. The man should not gaze passionately at his bride-to-be, but only have a critical look at her face and hands to acquaint himself with her personality and beauty. However, if a man so desires, he may appoint a woman to go and interview the proposed bride, so that she may fully describe the type of girl she is. Since believing men and women are referred to in the Quran, a woman also has the right to look at her potential husband. The special permission for men and women to see each other with a view to matrimony does not contravene the code of conduct for believing men and women to lower their gaze and be modest which is laid down in the Noble Quran: Ijbar: A Safety Valve The consent of both the man and the women is an essential element of marriage, and the Quran gives women a substantial role in choosing their own life partners. It lays down: "Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner." [Noble Quran 2:232] However, Imam Malik, one of the four great Imams of the Sunni schools of Islamic jurisprudence, gives a slightly restrictive interpretation to this verse and makes the choice of partner by a Muslim girl subject to the over-ruling power or ijbar of her father or guardian in the interests of the girl herself. It may sometimes happen that in her immaturity or over-zealousness, a girl may want to marry a man about whom she has distorted information or who does not possess good character or who lacks proper means of livelihood. In such a case, it is better, or rather incumbent upon the girl's father or guardian, that, in the wider interests of the girl, he restrains her from marrying such a worthless man and finds a suitable person to be her husband. Generally speaking, such marriages arranged by fathers and guardians work better than a marriage brought about through western courtship. The case of Abu Juham bin Hudhaifah and Mu'awiyah ibn Abu Sufyan is relevant here. They proposed marriage to Fatimah bint Ghaith. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised Fatimah not to marry either of them on the grounds that Mu'awiyah was then a pauper and Abu Juham was cruel and harsh. So she married Usamah. The Free Consent of the Parties The Quran [4:21] refers to marriage as a mithaq, i.e. a solemn covenant or agreement between husband and wife, and enjoins that it be put down in writing. Since no agreement can be reached between the parties unless they give their consent to it, marriage can be contracted only with the free consent of the two parties. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "The widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until their order is obtained, and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is obtained." [bukhari] This aspect is greatly emphasized by Imam Bukhari. He, in fact, gave one of the chapters in his Sahih the significant title: "When a man gives his daughter in marriage and she dislikes it, the marriage shall be annulled." Once a virgin girl came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said that her father had married her to a man against her wishes. The Prophet gave her the right to repudiate the marriage. [Abu Dawud] Divorced women are also given freedom to contract a second marriage. The Noble Quran says, "And when you divorce women, and they have come to the end of their waiting period, hinder them not from marrying other men if they have agreed with each other in a fair manner." [Noble Quran 2:232] With regard to widows, the Quran says, "And if any of you die and leave behind wives, they bequeath thereby to their widows (the right to) one year's maintenance without their being obliged to leave (their husband's home), but if they leave (the residence) of their own accord, there is no blame on you for what they do with themselves in a lawful manner." [Noble Quran 2:234] Thus widows are also at liberty to re-marry, even within the period mentioned above; and if they do so they must forgo their claim to traditional maintenance during the remainder of the year. However, it must be remembered that the power of ijbar given to the a father or the guardian by the Maliki school over their selection of life- partner obtains in all the situations considered above, namely, whether the daughter or the ward is a virgin or divorcee or widow. Prohibited Marriage Partners Under the Shari'ah, marriages between men and women standing in a certain relationship to one another are prohibited. These prohibited degrees are either of a permanent nature or a temporary. The permanently prohibited degrees of marriage are laid down in the Noble Quran: "And marry not those women whom your fathers married, except what has already happened (of that nature) in the past. Lo! It was ever lewdness and abomination, and an evil way. Forbidden unto you are your mothers and your daughters, and your sisters and your father's sisters and your mother's sisters, and your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters, and your foster-mothers and your foster-sisters, and your mothers-in-law and your step-daughters who are under your mother-in-law and your step-daughters who are under your protection (born) of your women unto whom you have gone into -- but if you have not gone into them, then it is no sin for you (to marry their daughters) -- and the wives of your sons from your own loins, and that you should have two sisters together, except what has already happened (of that nature) in the past. Allah is ever-Forgiving, Merciful." [Noble Quran 4:22-24] From the above verses, it is clear that a Muslim must never marry the following: His mother His step-mother (this practice continues in Yoruba land in Nigeria, where in some cases the eldest son inherits the youngest wife of his father) His grandmother (including father's and mother's mothers and all preceding mothers' e.g. great grandmothers) His daughter (including granddaughters and beyond) His sister (whether full, consanguine or uterine) His father's sisters (including paternal grandfather's sisters) His mother's sisters (including maternal grandmother's sisters) His brother's daughters His foster mother His foster mother's sister His sister's daughter His foster sister His wife's mother His step-daughter (i.e. a daughter by a former husband of a woman he has married if the marriage has been consummated. However, if such a marriage was not consummated, there is no prohibition) His real son's wife A great wisdom lies behind these prohibitions on the grounds of consanguinity, affinity, and fosterage. No social cohesion can exist if people do not keep these prohibitions in their minds while contracting marriages. Temporary prohibitions are those which arise only on account of certain special circumstances in which the parties are placed. If the circumstances change, the prohibition also disappears. They are as follows: A man must not have two sisters as wives at the same time nor can he marry a girl and her aunt at the same time. A man must not marry a woman who is already married. However this impediment is removed immediately if the marriage is dissolved either by the death of her former husband, or by divorce followed by completion of the period of 'iddah (retreat). A man must not have more than four wives at one time. This impediment is, of course, removed as soon as one of the wives dies or is divorced. A man must not marry a woman during her 'iddah. Regarding this last prohibition, the Quran expects Muslims to act with the utmost propriety and righteousness. It lays down: "...but do not make a secret contract with them except in honorable terms, nor resolve on the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled." [Noble Quran 2:235] This means that a man must not make a specific proposal of marriage to a woman during the time of her 'iddah after the death of her husband or an irrevocable divorce. However, he can send a message saying, for instance, "I wish to find a woman of good character". But if a woman is in the 'iddah of a divorce which is revocable where raja' (return) is possible, a man must not send her even an implied invitation to marry him, because she is still considered as the lawful wife of the first husband. In fact, this restriction is most beneficial because it prevents a man from becoming an instrument of breaking up a family where there are still chances of reconciliation between the wife and husband even though they are moving away from each other. Two Suitors Seeking to Marry the Same Girl The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) disapproved of two persons competing with one another to secure marriage with the same girl. This is because such a situation is likely to develop bitter enmity between two Muslim brothers. The Prophet said, "A believer is a brother of a believer. Hence it is not lawful for him to bargain upon the bargain of a brother, nor propose for (the hand of a girl) after the marriage proposal of his brother, until the latter (voluntarily) withdraws the proposal." Imam Abu Hanifa, Imam Shafi'i, and Imam Malik, all hold the view that it is a sin to put a proposal of marriage against the proposal of another Muslim brother. However, if a marriage is contracted in this wrongful way it will be sufficient if the second suitor who was successful seeks the forgiveness of the first suitor and of Allah. But Imam Dhahiri considers such a marriage void. It is respectfully submitted that the former view is more rational and sound.

God's way When you have exhausted all your ways, when you have used all your resources, when you have stumbled across a new journey which is dim, isolated and full of thorns; you may be hopeless, but remember, there is always His way. He has purposefully closed all doors and made them difficult to lead you to the best place. A place full of blessings, love, humility, and guidance. That place is the moment you turned with abundant worship of Him. You tried all you could, you failed in your ways, yet He allowed you to go to Him. This journey is your purpose. This is your goal. You may only understand a fraction of the journey now, but you will in time see the journey as a fraction of your success. Throughout our lives, we will embark on many journeys. Some will be short-lived, and others will be long and difficult. These journeys will define us. They will allow our character to blossom with beautiful radiation. Yet, there will always be a journey that will turn out to be our defining point. A journey that will not only define us, but will lay out a blueprint for our lives. Throughout our lives we will never forget this moment which led us to our current success. What is this moment? You may see it as hardship, others may see it as waste, some will mock at the simplicity of it, yet God put you in that very moment, because He knew without that moment, you would not be successful. That moment is your face in the floor praising and seeking God's help. Yes, every time God prepares us for greatness, He allows us to go through a process of refinement. The process starts by understanding God. A process that starts with prostration and that continues with striving. Through perseverance and failure, we become frustrated, our patience is tested, our ways are exhausted, but we continue pushing forward hoping God will make a way. We pray and pray some more. We continue this journey for days, years, decades and more, but we never stop. Why do we keep going? Could it be our hopes for success. Or maybe our lack of power and knowledge. Whatever it is, it is His way. You see, God was silent all along. He taught you perseverance. He beautified your character. He allowed you to strive so others could strive with you. He made you beautiful so others can look up to you. When you have grown to the person God wants you to be, you will see that the journey is a fraction of your success. Why? Because the journey was a step to greatness, while the striving was continuous greatness. You changed the world in ways you never envisioned. So, don't be hopeless because your prayers are not answered. God knows what you do not know. When He sees fit, He says 'YES'. When he sees opportunity he says 'WAIT'. But when He sees blessings He remains 'SILENT'. What about when God says 'NO'? That is when God wants you to take a leap for something greater. ─F.D

In God is my strength If my love is attached to Thee Then from sin I will be free Each time my heart will beat Your name will resound with heat With your name shivers my each limb They seek to be released from whim Allah, Allah, is my hearts speech Your Mercy is what I beseech The Most Merciful keep me content With all that You have sent Keep in my heart Your remembrance And in Your deen and love allow me to advance Help me in my quest Permit me to pass the ultimate test Save me from the clutches of Shaitan Give me death upon Imaan. Proud Muslimah

Depression As you travel life's journey, you can take the road from depression to fullness of life. The way out of your depression and onto the road to fullness of life, starts by you entering the presence of the true God; the Almighty God. God is in the pit with you right now. He is ready and willing to speak to you, to bring His change to your life, and to give you hope. If you look for Him, He will be found by you. He was there all the time. All you must do is ask Him to help you. He will take you from the solitude of your darkness and bring you into the light of His love. Once you accept Him, you will discover that you are on the road to recovery. Your journey to healing may be instantaneous or it may take time to throw off the old mindset and learn a new way of thinking and living. But know this: if you give him control of your heart and mind right now, He will walk with you and take you into a new season of your life. Your life may seem like a pit of brokenness, alone in the dark, and captivated by the feelings of emptiness and fear. You may be feeling that you are in a deep pit unable to get out. You may feel that the pit is so deep and your problems are too difficult to overcome and you have given up hope of being rescued. Your anxiety, shame, or guilt may have led to your depression. Maybe you are depressed because of an intense feeling of insignificance. But, I am here to tell you that God has not forgotten you. He sees you right now and He loves you. All you must do is to turn to Him, and give Him control of your life. He will restore you to experience fullness of life that you never dreamed possible. Let's talk with our Rabb right now and ask Him to take away our depression and emptiness and give us fullness of life. "Ya Allah, I do not want to be in depression anymore. I surrender my heart to you and ask that you take control of all that I am. Thank you for replacing my depression with hope and purpose and for giving me fullness of life". Proud Muslimah

Knowledge is an ocean with no coast, so those who arrive at a coast or think they know everything have something besides knowledge.

Embrace each difficulty with belief in God Once you've finished attempting to answer the questions of life, you will notice new questions will arise. Instead, learn to accept what befalls you. Know it is better for you. And repeat: "Allah has decreed (this) and He does whatever He wills." Abu Hurayrah (ra) reports that Allah's Messenger (saw) said, "The strong believer is more loved by Allah than the weak believer, but in both there is good. Be zealous for what will benefit you. Seek help from Allah the Mighty and Majestic and do not become incapacitated. If something afflicts you, do not say: "If only I had done such and such" but say, "Allah has decreed (this) and He does whatever He wills." Indeed saying "if" opens up the doorway of Shaytaan's handiwork." (Muslim) Once this is firmly believed, all questions will disappear, and all answers will be staring right back at you. The choice is yours. So accept what befalls you. Know that acceptance is the first step to success. Being in denial will one set you back and confuse you. Indeed, Allah gives whats best for us, but we are impatient and ignorant. ─F.D

Think, Reflect & Act Upon It. The good you find in others, is in you too. The faults you find in others are your faults as well. After all, to recognize something you must know it. The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well. The beauty you see around you is your beauty. The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing you the person you are. To change your world, you must change yourself. See the best in others, and you will be your best. Give to others, and you will give to yourself. Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful. Admire creativity, and you will be creative. Love, and you will be loved. Seek to understand, and you will be understood. Listen, and your voice will be heard. Teach, and you will learn ... !

yes you can my brother,as islam dont have copyright it belongs to everybody.

Being Gentle...like a butterfly The idea of being a stoned face, mysterious individual with a sense of firmness sounds appealing to some; when this type of character exudes from a person, a sense of dominance can emanate from within the heart. This eventually leads one to become ill mannered and arrogant which in turn changes a person into a prideful being. As a result, this firmness which seemed to be awe inspiring has now taken a person to the banks of Jahannam. It is for this reason that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, "Harshness does not exist in something except that it makes it repulsive. Indeed Allah is compassionate and He love compassion.” Unfortunately, we live in very rough society; such an environment has almost nurtured us to be hostile naturally. I understood this perfectly when I recently went to Madinah. I had left the hotel to go to the Prophet’s salallahu alayhi wasallam Mosque for Iftar when a brother suddenly grabbed my arm 20 meters away from the mosque. I instantly took him to be a trouble maker but I soon realised he was actually calling me to sit and break my fast with him. I watched him and found his courteous behaviour to be ever so pleasant. I then began to question myself as to why I had been so firm with him. I realised that it was the society that I had come from which told me to be defensive and sceptical as opposed to being gentle and friendly. The sunnah or Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam teaches us differently. It teaches us to be gentle and soft to every living and lifeless thing. During the battle of Uhud, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam commanded the archers to remain on a hill close to the battle until the war was won. Due to a misunderstanding, they left their positions which resulted in the death of 70 companions. However, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam was not harsh to them, nor was he aggressive. Rather, he was understanding and sympathetic; he accepted their reasons and pardoned them. He himself states in one hadith, “Forgive right-acting people for their mistakes.” Such behaviour brought about the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala and He notably mentions in the Qur’an, “It was a mercy of Allah that you were soft and gentle with them. If you were rude, harsh, hard hearted, then they would have fled away from you. Pardon them, seek forgiveness from Allah for them and in future, consult them in the matter” Softness is truly a characteristic which we must inculcate into our life. However, this does not mean that we become naive. If we live in such a place where there is much trickery and deceit, then it is not an act of piety to be forbearing. On the other hand, this is foolishness as a person is asking to be hoaxed. Being gentle should be within us naturally. When a person is gentle, it beautifies him as a person and also wins the heart of people. Rasulullah salalallahu alayhi wasallam said, “Softness does not exist in anything except that it beautifies it.” However, in order to bring this characteristic within ourselves, we must aim to become tolerant. A person can only learn to forgive and be soft to others once he has subdued his nafs to such an extent that he does not become angry at petty things. When a person is able to blow away his annoyance, signs of compassion may then prevail in him. Showing kindness to animals is enough for Allah Ta’ala to forgive a person. Imam Bukhari rahimahullah relates a narration in which a person fed a thirsty, ailing dog water which cured him. As a result, Allah Ta’ala forgave his sins. On the other hand, the hadith that Imam Bukhari rahimahullah brings thereafter shows the state of a woman who treated her pet so poorly that it was completely malnourished. As a result of her hard heartedness, Allah Ta’ala entered her into the fire. If this is the case with regards to animals, then what can be said for humans and especially our Muslim brothers and sisters? There are some misinformed people who try to use Hadhrat Umar radiallahu anhu as their justification to being harsh. Such people quite simply do not know who Hadhrat Umar radiallahu anhu was. He was a soft, loving, caring man who shed tears for the sake of this Ummah. Such people who claim that he was harsh and stern know very little of him. His firmness was to those who had disobeyed Allah Ta’ala and caused pain to the Muslimeen but besides that, he was merciful to the believers as well as the non believers. Many narrations can be put forth of his softness. Let it be remembered, that he was a person about whom people used to say prior to his acceptance of Islam, “There is more chance of Umar’s donkey accepting Islam!” However, his heart was thereafter nurtured by the one who has been titled as the Mercy to Mankind; surely then, such characteristics would have been found in him also. Finally, I conclude with the hadith: "Whoever has been given his portion of compassion has been given his portion of good. Whoever is denied being given his portion of compassion has been denied his portion of good. Good character will be the weightiest thing in the believer's balance on the Day of Rising. Allah hates a coarse, foul-mouthed person." May Allah Ta'ala bless us with such characteristics. Ameen.

Infatuation in Islam - Identifying the Problem. Recently, I have heard the word infatuation being used a lot. I began thinking about what ‘infatuation’ exactly is from an Islamic point of view. I then thought about the difference between infatuation and a mere liking of someone. Slowly but surely, by the grace of Allah Ta’ala, I began to write this article. This article will largely deal with the feeling of infatuation upon the other gender. According to the dictionary, the word infatuation is defined as ‘an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something’. In many cases however, such infatuation is not short-lived but remains present in a person’s life. It can hide itself within the breasts of mankind for a long period and just when a person thinks it has gone, it can resurface. This will be explained further in due course insha Allah. It is important at this stage to recognise the difference between merely liking and admiring someone and become infatuated upon someone. When a person merely likes another person, it is just a way of expressing his fondness towards the characteristics or beauty of the person whom he is keen upon. This is quite normal and is felt in many people whether they like to admit it or not. For example, a person may have a work colleague who is really helpful and as a result, that person develops a liking for his colleague's kind nature. Also, a person may have a classmate who is extremely beautiful and by acknowledging her beauty, he may begin to develop a liking for her too. However, this liking remains at a very mellow stage and becomes a ‘want’ rather than a ‘need’. A ‘want’ is simply something a person would like to have; if he receives it then he is happy and makes use of it till he renders it useless and if he does not receive it, he is briefly disappointed but moves on. A ‘need’ however is something a person must have in order to give himself raahat and peace; if he receives it then he does not want to let it go and if he does not receive it, his heart is in constant ache. This second type is primarily what ‘infatuation’ is. It is an obsession of such a nature that it traumatises the mind and punishes the heart inhumanely. When a person is ‘infatuated’ upon something, his life becomes unbearable until his obsession is acquired. It is true enough to say that infatuation has different degrees. Some people are affected by it greatly to the extent that there entire life revolves around their fixation and others are affected for only a specific portion of their life and as soon as that time has departed, so too has the fixation. The latter can be exemplified by the situation of a person who is popular in college. Girls may be fixated upon his flash style and his handsome face all year round but as soon as he departs, the fascination these girls felt will also go. This is because he is no longer in view. Shah Waliullah Dehlwi rahimahullah narrates a hadith in his Arba’in, “Your love for someone can blind you and deafen you.” Infatuation can be on many things. It can be upon following life in certain ways, using specific methods, it can be an intense interest in an enemy etc. Here we will take about the infatuation which is felt in a person when he likes another. For a person to be infatuated on another person, love and admiration must have entered his heart at some point which stops him from moving on. This is seen quite explicitly in the story of Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam which is mentioned in the Qur’an. The story is a long, detailed one but in brief, Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam was a man of immense beauty and great conduct. The wife of the leader of Egypt (Zuleikha is her name) at that time became infatuated upon Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam and loved him dearly. She was so adamant in starting a relationship with him that she sought to seduce him into committing fornication. Being such a great Nabi of Allah Ta’ala, Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam refused. These events somehow spread throughout the land and the women began gossiping and ridiculing Zuleikha. Zuleikha felt hard done by as nobody except her had witnessed the great beauty and jamaal of Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam. As a result, she organised a banquet wherein Yusuf alayhis salam was put forth in front of the women. They were also given knives and fruit in their hand but when they saw the beauty of Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam, they cut their hands. As a result, Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam was falsely dubbed as a menace to society and was consequently put into prison. He stayed in prison for seven years. It is mentioned by Maulana Hifzurrahman Syuhari rahimahullah, “Once Yusuf alayhis salam was taken into prison, Zuelikha totally took him out of her mind.” For several years, Zuleikha continued with her life and it appeared that she had moved on during this time. The flame of intense love and affection she had for Yusuf alayhis salam appeared to have burnt out. However, after seven years, his name was mentioned in her presence and the infatuation she had rekindled itself and the flame of her love once more began to burn brightly in her heart. The leader of Egypt began an inquiry as to see what really happened with regards to Yusuf alayhis salam. He wanted to clear Hazrat Yusuf’s alayhis salam name and so he began his ‘trial’. When his name was mentioned in front of Zuleikha, the truth of her infatuation became apparent and she crumbled. After years of being so distant from the one she loved the most, the pangs of separation could no longer be hidden. She immediately admitted her fault and that she was to blame. The Qur’an mentions, قَالَ مَا خَطۡبُكُنَّ إِذۡ رَٲوَدتُّنَّ يُوسُفَ عَن نَّفۡسِهِۦ‌ۚ قُلۡنَ حَـٰشَ لِلَّهِ مَا عَلِمۡنَا عَلَيۡهِ مِن سُوٓءٍ۬‌ۚ قَالَتِ ٱمۡرَأَتُ ٱلۡعَزِيزِ ٱلۡـَٔـٰنَ حَصۡحَصَ ٱلۡحَقُّ أَنَا۟ رَٲوَدتُّهُ ۥ عَن نَّفۡسِهِۦ وَإِنَّهُ ۥ لَمِنَ ٱلصَّـٰدِقِينَ He (the king) said, “What was your case, O women, when you seduced Yusuf?” They said, .God forbid, we know of no evil in him.” The governor‘s wife said, “Now the truth has come to light. I did seduce him, and he is surely truthful.” My most dearest and most beloved Hazrat Maulana Abdur Rahim Sahib (May Allah Ta'ala preserve him and reward him in abundance) writes a beautiful explanation to this verse in his tafseer Ahsan al Qasas. He says, “Zuleikha stood on one side and listened to the replies of the women and acknowledged the innocence and high principles of Yusuf alayhis salam. When they finished, she began, “Now the truth has come to light”. She did not mince her words. Rather she accepted her guilt freely and frankly. She adored Yusuf alayhis salaam in every sense, in words and deed and she wanted the truth to be proclaimed in the open court, before all. So what had happened to her then? She had learnt a lot in sorrow, pain and humiliation. She had learnt the vanity of carnal love. Yusuf alayhis salam, true of heart, calm in every turn of fortune, had taught her to question herself whether, in spite of all her sins she could yet be worthy of him? Perhaps when her husband was dead, and she was a widow. However, she must see whether she could understand love in the sense in which Yusuf alayhis salam would have her understand it, that pure surrender of the self, which is not tainted by earthly matters.” Thus as I mentioned before, infatuation is not short lived but can resurface at any time. Over here, we have the case of Zuleikha who has gone without Yusuf alayhis salam for years but at his mere return, she once again became dominated by feelings of burning love. It is about this the poet says, “Love refuses to hide, although I have tried to conceal it at countless times. It just returns and settles itself in my courtyard. When my yearning intensifies, my heart revolves around his remembrance. Then when I want to get closer to my beloved, he himself draws closer to me.” Yusuf alayhis salam was the ‘need’ that Zuleikha felt and by being in his company or around his matters, she felt great solace. Now the question arises that in our day and age, is this type of infatuation on the opposite gender a good thing? The simple answer is no. It does not befit the characteristics of a Muslim that he places matters of happiness and sadness upon the attention of a person whom he may not even spend the rest of his life. The effects of infatuation can cause many problems both spiritually and mentally. With regards to mentally, here are some; · Constantly being self conscious – when a person becomes obsessed with someone, he naturally wants to look good in order to catch their eye. Thus he will always try to dress up and look good just in case he bumps into them. · Feeling of being unattractive if ignored – when a person is ignored or not acknowledged by the person for whom they dressed up, they often feel very low in self esteem and feel unattractive. Sometimes a person may feel that he made such effort only to be blown away. · Depression – when a person cannot even gain the attention of the person that they are infatuated upon, they begin to live a life of sorrow. Nothing feels worth doing if it is not done with the ‘beloved’. · Sleepless nights – when a person is infatuated upon a person, he may often suffer sleepless nights just thinking about the other person. He may spend hours upon hours devising plans to be noticed or perhaps fantasize of a day when he is enjoying himself with his fixation. · Unstable thoughts – A person may think up many ways of perhaps acquiring his obsession. This may lead to unstable and impure thoughts. A person may consider plotting against people or doing absurd things just in order to attain their desired one. · Mood swings – when a person does not know what to think, he begins to have mood swings. Sometimes when things are going fine, he is in the happiest of moods but at other times he may be extremely depressed. This can perhaps be sparked by small gestures from their ‘beloved’. For example, if the ‘beloved’ merely glances with a smile at them, it may send them in to ecstasy. On the other hand, if the ‘beloved’ glances at them coldly or speaks sharply, they may feel extreme sorrow. · Anger – when things are not going right and all else is failing. A person tends to get frustrated and begins to bish, bash, bosh. · Loss of appetite – a person cannot eat despite being hungry. He is constantly in thought of his ‘desired one’. For as long as he feels the pains of separation, he cannot enjoy the other ni’mats and bounties of life. From among the spiritual ailments are the following: · Laziness in worship – when a person hits such a sorrowful state, he just does not like to do anything. It is easier to lie down on the bed then to make dua to Allah Ta’ala and thus there will be much negligence in prayer and Qur’an. Sometimes, when a person does not have thing he wants most, everything else feels useless to perform. · Loss of trust in Allah Ta’ala – when a person does not get what he wants, he begins to question Allah Ta’ala and feel that Allah Ta’ala has deprived him. When his entire life is being shattered, he begins to question what Allah Ta’ala has done for him! May Allah Ta’ala protect us all. · Increase in disobedience – as a result of this loss of trust, a person begins to commit sins and feels more inclined towards disobedience. A sister who may not be getting noticed by the person whom she is infatuated upon may take off her hijab in order to lure him to her. Due to the pain the heart is feeling, a person may find solace in smoking, drugs, alcohol as it can temporarily numb the pain. · Heavy heart – as a result of all this disobedience, the heart becomes stained and becomes heavy. A person feels constantly guilty with himself for the constant sin he has gotten himself into. · Change in personality - when infatuation has affected a person so greatly, his personality begins to change. He become different to the man he once was in many ways. Many negative traints come inside him and his akhlaq (mannerisms) are hugely transformed. A person who was always bashful and cheerful may become miserable. One who was kind may feel stingy. One who always had time for others may push people away from him and the examples go on.. All the aforementioned point to one thing – such infatuation in Islam is forbidden. In no way is it correct for a Muslim to bear all these characteristics with himself. Such foul qualities negate the essence and aura of a Muslim. I have highlighted the problems and in the next post, I will insha Allah write the remedy as I have not thought about it greatly as yet. If anybody has any ideas, please feel free to put your ideas forth. Jazak Allah May Allah Ta’ala strengthen the doors of our heart and keep the clean with His religion. May He out of His infinite blessings reward all the authors on this blog and those who inspire us to write. May He reward all you for taking time out to learn about His deen. Ameen

Loving Good For Your Brothers. The following was taken from a lecture given by Habib Ali al-Jifri A sign that you have begun to love good for others is that you will want the greatest good in your relationship with your brothers who are near to you. If you see that Allah (SW) singles out one of your brothers with a particular blessing, either worldly or religious, it is incumbent that you search deep into your heart and find feelings of sincere happiness for him. It is stated in a hadith, "None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself." A sign of this love is that you do not become quickly angered if your brother makes a mistake while trying to do something good. Rather than opposing or criticizing him, you should assist him in the rectification of his mistake in a gentle way. It is not easy to have this attribute become firmly planted in the heart, because envy (hasad) is subtle, even among your companions. However, by being sincere and turning to Allah Most High continuously, this affair becomes easy. So, if you see that Allah (SWT) has blessed one of your brothers with uprightness, enlightenment, or righteousness, and it weighs heavy on your heart, the cure for this is to pray that Allah increase him in what He has given him. Say: O Allah, increase him! O Allah, give him openings! O Allah, give him Divine success! O Allah, guide others by means of him! The existence of the darkness of envy in the soul is a sign of not loving good for others. If Allah bestows a blessing up someone, you might say to yourself, "Masha-Allah, Allah has blessed him with that." However, if he happens to make the slightest mistake, you become angered and say things like, "He doesn't know what he is doing! He doesn't understand! He’s not benefiting people!" Pay attention to what you are saying here. Which is greater, the good he was doing, or the mistake that he made? Another sign that the heart does not desire good for others is hastening to mention people's errors. This does not mean that you remain silent about the mistakes. Rather, it is upon you to advise your brother and strive to rectify the fault, without diminishing their honor. Your duty when rectifying is to correct the mistake, not to diminish the stature of the one who made the blunder. There is a big difference between the two. From the subtle, evil aspects of the soul regarding this, is the claim that your self is perfect and the other is deficient. Take for instance, when one says, "I am more knowledgeable than him. How could he be the one who does that? How could he have more students? Why are people praising him?" This is claiming that the self is perfect. Or when one says, "I have been studying longer than him. I have more sincerity than him," Do you know who said "I?" Pay attention! The one who said, "I," was Iblis. "I am better than him. You created me of fire, while You created him of mud." (7:12) He (Iblis), laughs at you and makes you his student when you say, "I" like he did. You are students of the inheritors of the Prophet (Sallahu alayhi wassllam), not of Iblis. As for the other aspect of seeking deficiencies in your brother, when you say things like, "He does not know. He doesn't understand. He made a mistake in that. He didn't organize this, etc." What is your intention in saying these things? If your intention is to try to rectify his mistake, may Allah bless you because loving good for people necessitates this. However, if your intention when he makes a mistake is that you don't want him to do something good, sacrifice, or work hard… look into your hearts. Do you want to stop a good action from being done? Pay attention to what is going on. Don't say anything that your brother would dislike if he were to become aware of what you said. You may only speak to the extent that is needed to rectify a wrong and give advice. You must address him first, if you are unable to, a third person that you know could benefit the situation by influencing him, or speaking to him. But to let your tongue loose and talk negatively about him saying things like, "So and so did this. So and so doesn't know. So and so made a mistake. So and so just wants this for himself. So and so just wants to be known." What does saying these things really mean? This is backbiting (ghibah), and completely impermissible. You can speak to the extent that is necessary to rectify the mistake, but it is not permissible to criticize or dishonor your brother. If you are able to gently allude to your brother's imperfection (‘Aib) to rectify the situation, it is better than speaking to him directly. If you are able to simply move your lips to inform the person, it is better than raising your voice so that others can hear. If you can speak directly to him, it is not permissible to speak to another about it. If there is one person that can help rectify the mistake, then it is not permissible to speak to two. If two people can rectify the mistake, then you can't speak to three. You must speak to the minimal amount of people needed to rectify the mistake. This mistake is considered to be from the nakedness (‘awrah) of your brother so you should strive to veil the mistake and not expose it. If someone was sitting, and, unintentionally, part of his nakedness became uncovered, and you happen to see this, then you should inform him. If he is far and you are unable to speak to him, don't tell a person to your right or left, or who is in front or back of you, only tell the person who is closest to him so that he can tell him. When the person tells him, he will cover his nakedness and say, "May Allah reward you." But if you were to see the nakedness of someone exposed, and then say to the one next to you, "Look! His nakedness is exposed." And then he says to the person next to him, "Look! his nakedness is exposed." And then he says to the one next to him, "Look! his nakedness is exposed." Did you rectify the situation or humiliate your brother? Is this an affair of our Din? The spiritual nakedness is more severe than the physical nakedness regarding your brother's honor. Firstly, we need to realise that we are completely poor and in need to serve the Din and the Din does not need us. We should fear to meet Allah without having served His Din. Second, by realizing that we don't deserve to serve the Din, rather, we should hope that by the grace of Allah, He will honor us to be from among those who serve the Din. If this becomes firmly implanted in your heart, Allah will use you for the service of His Din. But, if you believe that the service of the Din is in need of you, and say things like, "Leave them! They will eventually know who I am. They don't know how to do anything. They will try, but fail, and then come running to me. I am the one who knows how to do it." Does Allah need you? Are you crazy?! You believe that Allah needs you?! The Din needs you?! Or to say, "They didn't give me a good position. I deserve a higher position than that which they gave me." What do you deserve?! Or if you say, "I have this and this." What do you really have?! Were Allah to expose your smallest sin, no one would even greet you. So, we must be humble and broken before Allah and annihilate ourselves in the love of service. May Allah give all of us openings and prepare us to implement these meanings and place these principles firmly in our hearts and make us from the elect that adopt them and unto the presence of the Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wassallam).

Mufti menk is in Makkah and this took place just today. subhanAllah

Maa shaa Allah, heavy rainfall in Makkah just as we complete Maghrib. Drenched & soaked. Alhamdulillah May the Almighty wash away our sins forgive us all. Aameen

Seeking the forgiveness of the Almighty very often, raises ones rank, eases difficulties, increases sustenance, purifies the heart, attains blessings, protects from sin, cures from disease, increases piety, fulfills our needs, grants goodness in offspring, makes obedience easy, achieves the Pleasure of the Almighty & results ultimately in entry into paradise. The Messenger pbuh himself sought forgiveness between seventy to a hundred times DAILY. Astaghfirullah. I seek your forgiveness Oh my Maker. Oh You whom I shall return to forgive my shortcomings. Aameen.